Faith can be of real help to those inclined to call upon it.

On Saturday night, millions of Jewish people around the world will sit down to a festive dinner called the “Seder”, to celebrate the beginning of the eight days of Passover.

It is an opportunity for the whole family to gather round the dinner table and retell the biblical story of how Moses led the Children of Israel out of Egypt, crossing the Red Sea and wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, before arriving in Israel, the Promised Land. They escaped slavery and avoided the 10 plagues, which “passed over” their homes.

It is a time for the children to take part by asking four questions of the family. Traditionally, these are sung in Hebrew by the youngest child present, who starts off by asking, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” Those gathered round give answers, enjoy their dinner and give thanks for their survival. It is a festival which passes on the story of Jewish survival against all the odds. Moreover - and importantly - it is a time for celebration of the family and family life.

It is the issue of faith, no matter how that faith is defined, that repeatedly comes back to me in my everyday work. This, despite the fact that faith is often viewed as being “off the wall”, “irrelevant” or the provenance of extremists.

In a world that seems to worship the “have it all” mentality, no matter what the cost, so many of us seem to have forgotten that faith can be a force for good. Faith can give us a set of moral standards against which we can judge ourselves and make decisions. According to a recent study, we are all much wealthier than we were 20 years ago; but how many of us stop to give thanks for what we have? What we have is precious, but is easily lost - and all too easily thrown away. Continue reading »

When Heather Mills made a spectacle out of herself on worldwide television recently, I found it difficult to sympathise with her. Quite simply, she was out of control: “on a frolic of her own”, as lawyers are wont to say. She has become mired in a mixture of self-pity, anger, self-righteousness and the injustice of an imagined nightmare endured in front of the world. Aligning herself with the McCann family and the late Princess of Wales, she seemed to be saying to us: “You have pity on them - have pity on me”.

 Ms Mills is playing out her role as abandoned wife for all she is worth. She has her side of the story to tell, and I have no doubt at all that she believes every word she says. She has been lambasted in the media, but her efforts are producing results: the image of Sir Paul, a national treasure, has now been tarnished.

I think she intends to continue - and make a fortune into the bargain. From a legal perspective, however, Heather Mills is pushing her luck to the limit. She is not supposed to discuss her marriage until the case is over. In all probability, speaking out has already cost her a small fortune in her settlement.

Last year, in an article written for The Times, I suggested that Sir Paul should pay up generously and fast, to gag his errant wife for his own sake and for that of his family. Sadly, this never happened; the damage has been done and is likely to worsen. Will Sir Paul be able to stop her- permanently - in the court battle to come? Last year I might have said no, but her uncontrolled display has led me to reconsider this prospect.

Undoubtedly, Ms Mills has the right to freedom of expression. However, under Article 8 of the European Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms 1950, Sir Paul and his family from his first marriage have a right to a private life too. Under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, they also have the right to protection from harassment. Therefore they can ask the court to make a permanent injunction, to stop Ms Mills washing the family’s dirty laundry in public.

Continue reading »

“If you had the opportunity, would you?”

A smart, attractive lady in her mid 40s came to see me recently. She is a lawyer by profession. Our meeting began very calmly and her problem soon became clear.

She is married to a chartered accountant. He is a partner in a multinational firm. They have three children, aged between eight and 14. They enjoy an affluent lifestyle. They have no particular worries and life proceeds smoothly.  On the surface, all is well and they are the perfect family.

She certainly hadn’t been looking for romance outside her marriage. Unfortunately, it arrived in the guise of an old university friend.

He is the MD of a successful family business. They hadn’t met for 20 years, but bumped into one another on opposite sides of a commercial transaction. He has a family, but has long since divorced his own wife. They “clicked” and have now embarked on a passionate affair.

Her husband has noticed she has become withdrawn and is worried about her. However, he suspects nothing. Listening to her, I was reminded of the film Unfaithful, which starred Richard Gere and Diane Lane as a “perfect” couple torn apart by the wife’s affair.

This lady wanted advice on the likely outcome of a divorce. When I asked how she thought divorce would impact upon her family, she burst into tears and her control slipped. All her guilt came tumbling out, and she said it was a relief to cry. She used up a lot of the tissues I keep in my desk. She said quite simply that it would devastate them all.

Continue reading »