The Black Knight is one of the most famous characters in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Charged with guarding a small bridge, the knight is on a power trip, losing limb after limb to prevent King Arthur from passing. Eventually he loses them all. And still he issues his futile threats!
In many ways this character reminds me of opponent spouses we come across only rarely; the spouses of clients who are determined to prevent the divorce from proceeding smoothly unless it all goes their way. How do you tackle a Black Knight?
When both parties have good legal representation and there is a desire on both sides to settle sensibly, more often than not the divorce process is straightforward. There may be a moderate scrap given the adversarial nature of litigation, there is the requirement for full financial disclosure and the genuine need to clear the air between the couple, before they can begin to negotiate seriously. Settlement follows. In England and Wales, only the most fractious cases go to a full hearing.
Black Knights often decide to ignore legal advice and may even opt to do without a lawyer altogether. I have encountered Black Knights who regard themselves as puppet masters; they see themselves pulling the strings because they are convinced that they can handle their own case better than any lawyer could.
It is possible to divorce without a lawyer at your side, but if you are spoiling for a fight the decision to battle alone is usually misguided. When unreasonable demands are being made it is far more difficult to reach a settlement that is acceptable to both sides. Black Knights can’t play the game by the rules – because as non-lawyers, they don’t know the rules.
Stowe Family Law’sInternational Family Law department is as busy as ever, and we have also seen a steady rise in the number of enquiries about prenuptial agreements. This, I believe, has been prompted – at least in part – by last year’s ruling in the Radmacher v Granatino case, which involved an agreement made between a German heiress and her banker husband.
David Charter, Europe Correspondent at The Times, contacted me to ask for thoughts on another landmark ruling in a German case. The story appears in today’s newspaper.
German ordered to repay house deposit to his in-laws after divorce
It is not just the grasping ex that Germans must contend with during a divorce. Now it is the in-laws as well.
Judges in Berlin yesterday ordered a man who kept the family home to pay back a gift of €29,000 (£25,000) from his in-laws that had helped the couple buy the house.
The ruling by the Federal Court of Justice has been interpreted as a landmark judgment which could allow in-laws to reclaim presents given to their child’s spouse if the marriage breaks down.
Judges said that the “contractual basis” of such presents depended on the in-laws’ child being able to enjoy the fruits of the gift. That basis no longer applied after a divorce.
“If the child benefits from the gift for a long period of time (for example if the couple lives together in a house donated by the in-laws), then only a part of the gift must be paid back,” the judges said in their ruling. Continue reading»
Women are still encouraged to “have it all”, juggling motherhood, marriage and high-powered careers without dropping any of the balls. So what gives? A stressful lifestyle can leave its mark on family life: perhaps it is no coincidence that many of the clients we see at Stowe Family Law are in their late 30s or early 40s, with young children.
At the same time, the latest statistics show that divorce rates have fallen to a 29-year low. There are several reasons for this but clearly, the rise of the working mother and soaring stress levels have not triggered a divorce epidemic. So if greater numbers of women are “making it work”, how are they doing it? I have my own ideas…
Winding down after a hectic series of meetings in London last week, I had lunch at J Sheekey in Covent Garden. (For relaxing and taking stock, this fish restaurant is the perfect venue: yummy comfort food, the best wine, white linen tablecloths and old-fashioned puddings!) My lunch companion was in her early thirties. She is very bright and our conversation kept me on my toes. She also has a bustling, highly-pressured lifestyle that makes mine pale into insignificance.
She is married with two young sons. She commutes to Central London every day; her husband commutes to his job on the south coast. Continue reading »
Some female clients point to the lack of remorse shown by a cheating spouse. “He denied it for months on end”, “he told me I was imagining things and that I’m mad” and “he won’t even say sorry!” are just some of the comments that I have heard many times over.
A new study, the results of which were published in yesterday’s Daily Mail, concludes:
Men really do feel less guilt than women… From forgetting to post a birthday card to embarking on an affair, the male of the species is less likely to feel remorse, sorrow, empathy or anger.
The problem, say the study’s authors, is not that women feel too much guilt – but that men feel too little.
From reading the article it appears that men are indeed from Mars and women are indeed from Venus. At no point, apparently, do we think similarly about wrongdoing in our relationships with one another. Put simply: women will recognise what is wrong and apologise and men don’t recognise what is wrong and won’t. It was a man after all (the late Erich Segal) who coined that phrase: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Perhaps that phrase was more telling than even he realised!
It is true that some female clients fixate on the lack of remorse shown by their cheating spouse. They can also spend a long time canvassing opinion as to why he still won’t apologise. If that is the case there is no doubt the divorce process becomes even harder to settle, because in refusing to at least hand her the moral high ground, the husband is also preventing her from restoring some of her lost self-esteem and self-confidence.
On Friday I enjoyed the company of family lawyers from around Europe. We had gathered in Paris for the opening of the law firm Cabinet CBBC (formerly the Cabinet Veronique Chauveau). With so many of us gathered in one place, the talk turned to family law – and how we are separated by our respective countries’ laws, customs and conventions.
Within the European Union, transnational family law does not operate as smoothly as one might reasonably expect, despite the determination to create a genuine area of freedom, security and justice whereby decisions taken in one member state are recognised and enforced throughout the EU. Member states operate different divorce laws for its citizens, which may vary dramatically in other member countries. When litigants in member states look – understandably – for the smoothest way out of their domestic tangles, they can come a cropper.
It was a stylish and memorable evening (pictured above: with CBBC partner Alexandre Boiche and others). When I arrived at CBBC there were more than 100 people drinking champagne and attacking the buffet. The firm is located in the heart of Paris on Boulevard de Sébastapol, across three floors in a beautiful building just across from the courts on theÎle de la Cité, next to Notre Dame Cathedral. I plunged straight in with my terrible French, which fortunately didn’t last too long, because most people took pity on me and spoke English!
I chatted to German lawyers from Stuttgart and Saarbrucken. I had a conversation with a French professor of law about French divorce law; there were diplomats present with an interest in child abduction cases.
Talking, it became clear that we continue to be divided and exercised by the laws that appear, vanish or change whenever a border is crossed. For example, Paris isn’t London. We don’t have a Civil Code; we have statute law and conventions of judge-made law. La Manche divides us geographically (even if there is a tunnel underneath) but there is an economic, cultural and social divide that is reflected in our different law, practice and procedure. Continue reading »
Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements have been in and out of the news over the past year. Here at Stowe Family Law, the number of new enquiries about prenups and postnups has risen sharply. The same questions come up often: is such an agreement advisable, and what can be done to ensure that it is effective?
This was the subject of my talk on Thursday evening, when Stowe Family Law and Lane-Smith & Shindler, a firm of specialist trusts and estates practitioners based in central Manchester, held a joint seminar (above) at the Marriott Hotel in Hale Barns. The audience comprised of retail and private banks, accountants, investment managers and IFAs.
Speakers from both firms discussed the impact of relationship breakdown on family wealth, and advised on steps to protect family wealth. Marilyn Stowe spoke about the changes in ancillary relief law over the last 10 years, which have led to far larger payouts to spouses in big money cases. Geoffrey Shindler of Lane-Smith & Shindler explored the impact of this change in the law on family trusts, and described how trusts could be vulnerable to different forms of attack from spouses. Paul Davies of Lane-Smith & Shindler explained how different drafting techniques can be used to provide added protection to trusts.
I chose to speak about the rise of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements to their current status, and described the mechanics by which the agreements are constructed. At the time of writing, such agreements are extremely influential on decisions made by our family courts in England and Wales.
Because of the level of interest in this talk, and the question and answers that followed, we are reprinting the accompanying handout here. If you are considering a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, we hope that this information is useful. This is an area in which Stowe Family Law specialises, so you can always leave a comment or contact us directly with any additional queries. Continue reading »
Divorce cases that involve disagreements about children are often described as “difficult”. Emotions run high; at a local level the judiciary may have to fall upon its own judgement when asked to choose one suitable option above others. Bitterness, heartache and large legal bills can result. Is there another way? I think so.
The majority of children cases relate to the practical arrangements of what happens to their children following the breakdown of a marriage or parental relationship. As Head of the Children’s Department at Stowe Family Law, I have been involved in a number of cases in which one or both parents have asked the court to intervene. Sometimes there are issues that concern child protection; other cases feature styles of parenting that are no longer considered acceptable after a relationship’s failure. The majority of cases concern the practical arrangements and the frequency and duration of the time each parent spends with the children. It is this latter category that has caused me growing concern over the past few years.
The pressures under which the local judiciary operates have not helped. A case scheduled for its first, second or even third appearance may only be listed for a quarter of an hour. Judges are asked to make rigorous, reasoned decisions quickly – and yet some of these cases feature complexities that stretch back years. There may not be time to facilitate a fragile agreement when everyone feels so rushed.
The other difficulty is that too much pressure is placed on parents to sort out their own problems. In some cases, this is simply too much to ask.
As family lawyers, we talk a lot about needs when we advise our clients. We talk of capital needs for housing, transport and to redeem liabilities and income needs to meet ongoing annual and monthly expenditure. Needs are trump cards for arguing for a departure from an equal division of capital for a wife with children who cannot otherwise re-house, even if it means taking inherited assets away from the beneficiary in some cases. Needs apply equally to income as to capital, and are an important concept in family law.
Within ancillary relief proceedings, each party will give full and frank disclosure of their financial situation. As part and parcel of that disclosure process, each party must also complete a budget sheet, setting out what they say they need to meet their outgoings. We provide all Stowe Family Law clients with a budget sheet at the outset of the proceedings, so that they can consider their own needs early on.
I thought of this as I read an article over the weekend in the Saturday Telegraph Magazine, about a family who had been asked to account for every penny that they had spent in a month. The point of the article was to highlight whether we are in fact aware of what we spend, even in the current recession driven economy. The couple in question were successful, with an income of £150,000 per annum, an income that most people would consider enormous, yet they were still spending more than they earned. Continue reading »
It is frequently the case that the tearful woman who comes to see me for her first appointment has lost her strength and self-confidence. As her case progresses, however, the client undergoes a transformation. She begins to reassert herself and resumes control of her future.
Years later, I can bump into the same client and barely recognise the energetic, self-assured woman who stands before me. We women are far stronger than we know. Some of us only realise this strength after years of conditioning and low self-esteem. Others are strong inside and out – and they have always known it.
I was musing upon this recently, after I ended up sitting next to two fashionably dressed men at the recent Selfridges sale in London. (Sat next to? During a sale? Yes. The only way to shop the Selfridges sale is to fight your way through the massive front doors, check out the crowds, immediatelyadmit defeat, head straight for the champagne bar, order a glass of pink champagne and unwind while watching the throng do battle. I also recommend finding some stylish company with whom to share the moment!)
All three of us watched, open-mouthed in admiration, as the woman on the television screen above our heads made her recorded appearance at Selfridges. The singer Grace Jones emerged from a Range Rover, dressed in gold, and stood on the bonnet of the car waving to the crowds. She looked amazing.
Known for her striking appearance, strong voice, extraordinary hairstyle, modelling, film appearances and larger than life temperament, Grace Jones has dared to appear on stage with live lions and tigers. She currently appears in concert wearing only a series of fantastic jackets, hats and a thong. Once, during a well reported altercation – and there have been many – she is alleged to have described herself as “Queen Bitch Jungle Mother of New York”. She certainly makes life interesting for us! Continue reading »
I have already written about the Court of Appeal’s recent decision in the Marco Pierre White case. Divorce, Full Disclosure and Marco Pierre White looked at the Hildebrand Rules and at what can happen when clients take matters into their own hands. Hildebrand Documents and Marco Pierre White examined the judgment in detail. Frances Gibb, Legal Editor of The Times, contacted me about this significant ruling to ask about its implications for family law practitioners. The story appears on page three of today’snewspaper:
Marco Pierre White challenge could change divorce battles for ever
Take one celebrity chef, separate him from his wife, sprinkle with allegations of intercepted letters, simmer and serve with a landmark ruling.
Marco Pierre White, the former Michelin-starred chef and television presenter, is pursuing his estranged wife’s lawyers in a test case that could change for ever the way that divorce battles are fought. Family lawyers warn that the chef’s lawsuit could end the practice by spouses of turning detective to unearth evidence.
White recently won a landmark ruling that enables him to proceed against Withers, the City law firm that was acting for his estranged wife, Mati, over the interception and seizure of his personal papers. The action is expected to come to trial this year and has already prompted enquiries from clients who think that they may be able to lodge similar claims.
Lawyers say that any spouse who wants to do her own detective work because she suspects that her husband is lying about his finances will lose a crucial weapon if White wins the case. They are calling for urgent guidelines so that they and their clients know where they stand. Continue reading»
Marco Pierre White challenge could change divorce battles for ever
I write for the benefit of those who are experiencing family breakdown and for fellow family law professionals. Please note that all persons mentioned in the scenarios are fictitious: details have been deliberately changed in order to protect identities and other confidential circumstances of my clients.
Please also note the advice I give in each scenario must not be relied upon by anyone reading my blog. You must always take your own legal advice as your circumstances may be different and English family law is continually changing.
The Black Knight is one of the most famous characters in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Charged with guarding a small bridge, the knight is on a power trip, losing limb after limb to prevent King Arthur from passing. Eventually he loses them all. And still he issues his futile threats!
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