Marilyn Stowe Blog

William T on November 1, 2012 at 12:30 am

I would like to know where is the enforcement of Contact Orders?

Mothers get away with murder when flouting contact orders. My ex owes me thousands of hours of contact time, yet there isn’t even a whiff of interest or concern from the ‘authorities’. I have even tried to enforce things through the courts. They couldn’t have been more dismissive, almost laughing in my face with smug comments about ‘cannot touch the mother’.

Yet the hugely discreditable CSA will hunt down a man for every penny they, usually erroneously, think he should owe. A hugely destructive course of conduct ruining businesses, livelihoods and relationships.

The DWP should extract their ill-witted heads from their pompous backsides and wake up to the gross imbalance off justice that they ‘support’ and oversee on a daily basis.

Yvie on November 1, 2012 at 8:30 am

It’s not about painting all non-resident fathers as victims. The methods used by the CSA are dispictable. Fathers are threatened with prison sentences, bailiffs, loss of driving licence irrespective of whether they have the ability to pay or not. Deduction of earnings notices are imposed on fathers at the drop of a hat. As long as the CSA get the money they do not care how they get it, even if it means putting a father into debt and risking his home. They say that the welfare of children is their paramount concern. Really – that surprises me as they have no means or interest in checking that child maintenance is actually spent on the children. If there was an element of fairness such as taking both incomes into account, there might be less resentment from the fathers who are more then willing to support their children, but less inclined to support their exes lifestyle, particularly when both parents work full time

JamesB on November 1, 2012 at 11:09 am

NRPs = Scum.

What a mess.

Can we go back to how it was prior to the CSA please? Didn’t seem so bad. The elephant in the room (in your post) is that it doesn’t criticise women who get pregnant without the man’s consent and then expect hefty maintenance. Having gone through that I think a degree of measuring conduct is inevitable, not USSR type CSA which is doomed. So, think let’s go back to how it was before the CSA. That way this social issue can be taken away and we can get to the more important issue of council houses rather than Feminism, which has dominated politics for far too long in this count. Wow, I really mean that last point, soo strongly.

caroline Taylor on November 1, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I found it extremely heartening to read of your interest in the CSA. We have a Tribunal on Tuesday in Cheltenham to prove that we have a long standing history of support & exactly what we have paid to the pwc for the children.The CSA seem to take as ‘gospel ‘anything the pwc says and in an acrimonious situation this is completeIy unfair . I know there are a lot of people who try and use excuses to avoid payment but they seem to get away with it anyway ,for ever ,by never being traced .The NNRP who lives in the same house for years & have children regularly are targeted -often when they are working on ‘figures’ given by the pwc which in retrospect don’t even allow you to take into the consideration of the children who live with you .If the pwc is taking the money into her bank account and doesn’t tell you there is a problem -how on earth are you supposed to get them (your resident children)into the equation? Our MP tried & got the ball rolling for us and despite being very encouraging over our’ longevity & quality of the support to the children of the pwc’ cannot profess to know both sides of the story .Here’s hoping our ‘evidence’ of what we’ve done /paid speaks for itself ! Regards ,Caroline

JamesB on November 1, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Far too long in this country that was.

Sola Noah on November 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

William T, please stop wasting your time going to a family court in England; it’s a failed institution.

However, please ensure that your kids are looked after financially. Because we feel mothers use children as weapon we also feel using finance/money as weapon too is appropriate, NO.

Yvie on November 1, 2012 at 1:49 pm

It is also possible for mothers to use finance/money as a weapon. Some mothers will attempt to reduce contact between the children and their father because the more contact the father has, the less child maintenance the mother is entitled to.

chris on November 2, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I have had the unfortunate experience of being presented to a judge for so called arrears of child support . These arrears never existed as i have met my obligations for child support . the so called arrears accrued because it took the csa 26 months to complete a review . its importanant to emphasise that during this 26 month period i was paying maintenance at my assessed amount calculated by the CSA . when your in court a judge cannot question anything the csa presents even if you have evidence to support your defence . Im pleased that the court of appeal has found that thuman rifghts have been breached by the CSA . Lets see where it goes . i dare say at appeal it will be squashed as before the CSA are drachonian and its money for the treasury not the child . isnt that corret MR Ian Duncan Smith

John on November 2, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I hope that this ruling is the first of many, that will bring an end to criminalising NRP’s, through CSA incompetence and herald a class action against the CSA and DWP, for inhumane methods, that deny the accused the right to a fair trial and to be judged by their peers, in a court of law.

I will be seeking legal advice and compensation for CSA incompetence, in their efforts to criminalise me, should a class action take place….and I have been paying what they asked of me!

They should be disbanded and all Child maintenance cases should be firstly dealt with by parental mediation, and if failing to agree, through solicitors and the courts!

chris on November 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I quite agree that the csa should be held to account for decades of incompetance and maladministartion . they do not have a duty of care to a child however this is now a step in the right direction for those reponsible parents that have met their individual financial obligations not to be tarred with the same brush as those that will not and have no intention of financially supporting their children . Bring on the compensation claims i say .

Observer on November 3, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I agree Chris. Organized crime is only legitimate inasmuch as nobody stands up to it.

NACSA CHAIR on November 4, 2012 at 2:00 am

We were absolutely delighted to hear the judgement. Whilst we would wholeheartedly support the need for enforcement, and for the need to make non paying parents understand that their actions cannot be tolerated, sadly our help lines are inundated with genuine NRPs paying as they should, but often put into large arrears through no fault of their own. Likewise, we receive many calls from PWCs that genuinely suffer from errant ex partners, and despite years of battling against the system, the Agency simply fail achieve appropriate recovery of debt. The Agency’s enforcement powers are harsh and adequate – but simply not used effectively.

The Other Mike D on November 5, 2012 at 10:49 am

“Nevertheless, as much as many would like it, we must resist the temptation to paint all non-resident fathers as victims. As any family lawyer will confirm, there is no shortage in this world of fathers who cannot or will not do the right thing by their children, nor of single mothers in need. Some form of government intervention in the child maintenance process is unavoidable”

While I confess I dont know what the rates are in the UK, in the US, research here has shown that mothers are 66% more likely than fathers to defualt on child support. So I find this comment more that bit sexist. The courts here, like the courts in the UK, are so heavily against the fahters that even those fathers that do the right the right thing are subject to a level of scrutiny that mothers are never subject too. The US is also having its share of child support enforcement agencies being subject to lawsuits exposing Thier heavy handed tactics.

As someone who has experienced it first hand I say its about time.

JamesB on November 5, 2012 at 11:22 am

I agree with Mike. I also was upset by the same section that he refers to, as I said in my earlier post. At the risk of getting a bit political, if Obama loses on Tuesday, then it will be more than a little bit due to Government (false) intervention in this area in the US also.

JamesB on November 5, 2012 at 11:25 am

P.S. for that issue and if Romney is against this Government intervention into the family, then I would vote for him. It is the main issue upon which I would vote, I’m in the UK.

Jason Wallace on November 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Hi there

I was delighted to see that the ruling was awarded against The Child Support Agency.

My experience is similar to many others in that I WAS paying a settlement which my ex-wife’s solicitor drew up. The agreement clearly stated that she would use a mediation service and would not use The CSA. The Court Order was very clear indeed.

What has happened is that my ex wife has involved The CSA and has realised that by denying the children the right to see me that she can then claim the right to even more money from me.

So, I complied with a Court Order. My ex wife did not. I work full time to support my families (as does my wife) while my ex wife does not. I am unable to see my children. Then to add to all the punishment the state comes in and makes things even more contentious.

I have repeatedly sought a non-confrontational approach with my ex wife and it has got me nowhere so I am now faced with half my salary being removed by DEO based upon calculations which The CSA will not share with me so I am having to go to tribunal for that.

Folks, while it is important to track down NRPs who actively do not pay child support why does the state have to foul up arrangements which were perfectly good?

GPiskor on November 5, 2012 at 8:28 pm

A long overdue ruling with international ripple effects.

It’s staggering that Lord Justice Ward would publicly state it was done with “great reluctance” with the full knowledge that it would “emasculate” CSA’s prosecutorial capability. Amazing! That’s tantamount to saying expediency trumps Rule of law.

Hopefully, Iain Duncan Smith will use this as an opportunity to rework the DWP enforcement bureaucracy to focus on intentional non-payors while establishing humane outcomes for those simply unable to pay.

David on November 7, 2012 at 1:23 am

It’s good news… so why do I feel like nothing will change in reality. It’s a shame as a citizen to have no faith in the law of the country you were born and live in.

James D on November 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm

CSA yer right a walking joke…Try this….After my divorce it was decided that the children’s best interest lay with them living me, their Dad. I made an application to the CSA for maintenance, only to find some 12 months later, it had been me assessed and I owed £1400 in child support arrears that I needed to pay my ex wife who was the NRP and at this point had not seen the children for 18 months. You ask hows that..”plain stereotyping”.

“He’s the Dad, he most owe the money”

Well I didn’t and after countless phone calls and a court summons it was eventually sorted…Thankfully the Judge awarded my legal cost to the CSA. I have to say, I still have not had a penny in maintenance and after the debarkle I went though, I don’t want any….
I am thankful for the Judgement and feel that any wing clipping of the CSA is only a good thing….

Rae on November 15, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Its all well and good for those that do pay, but what about those who dont?
My ex husband refuses to pay for his children in any way,shape or form.
The legal process is frustrating at best, all ways have been tried to get him to pay, after a ten year battle where he refusal to continue to pay for his children or offer even the slightest financial support to them ( he has even classed gifts, such as b/day and xmas presents from his family members as financial support) and yet demands his legal rights to still have access to his children, the system has failed us badly. I have to work to support our children whilst he acrues money hand over fist from his own business and because he doesnt give his details to inland revenue the csa have their hands tied and cannot proceed with any action because they cannot determine that he is earning anything as his money is either hidden at home or paid into his wifes bank account.
This matter swings both ways and I think a point should be put across for all those genuine single parents whose partner downright refuses to pay for their children, things are never as simple as they are painted.

JamesB on November 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Not sure what a ‘Genuine Single Parent’ is, is this one without another partner. I think the Government bit off more than they could chew with this idea and shouldn’t have gone anywhere near the subject. Instead they have attempted to wade into family disputes and made a bigger mess. I am a NRP who pays through the csa and I resent every penny they squeeze out of me and vote accordingly.

Observer on November 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Rae,

It sounds like you are a victim indeed, albeit rather of a system that leads parents to believe that it is acceptable that after treating each other as throwaway objects you can then still expect interest on your half-ass investment.

It really is shocking that we are walking around like zombies hurting each other and our children so that those working in the divorce industry can continue to shop at Harrods at the weekend.

Rae on November 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Observer,
My children are not hurt by this as I do my utmost to support and help them fulfill their roles as decent well brought up children who have respect for everyone.
None of what has taken place has been told to my children as I dont want them hurt by this, all I tried to do was simply state things from anothers point of view.
I would hope I have done my best by my children who seem to be growing up into well balanced and happy individuals in their own right.

Karen Kirkland on December 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I am a pwc. My ex has done everything posable to avoid paying any matenence. Can any one tell me why after 10 years I should carry on letting him have unrestricted access to our daughter?

1. 

   Marilyn Stowe on December 15, 2012 at 6:59 pm

   Hi Karen.
   Understandable feelings but the law is about the child and what is in her best interests. Neither of you have “rights” you have responsibilities which both should discharge in the interests of your daughter.
   Best wishes
   Marilyn

Friend on December 15, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Because a child is not something you rent out, duh?

1. 

   Marilyn Stowe on December 31, 2012 at 8:54 pm

   Friend
   Very happy New Year to you.
   Best wishes
   Marilyn

JamesB on December 16, 2012 at 1:19 am

That is quite brilliant Friend. U write well. Concise and to hje point.

Yvie on December 16, 2012 at 12:07 pm

There are issues on both sides regarding payment of child maintenance unfortunately.

However, the attitude of some parents who claim ‘ownership’ of the children is perhaps one of the reasons why so many parents end up in the Family Courts.

John on December 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Now that justice is going to be seen to be done for the 96 Hillsborough victims, will justice also be seen to be done with regard to the thousands of victims of the CSA. Some of whom have lost their lives, as their Human rights have been routinely broken by the CSA?

Simon on January 16, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Its to late for me the csa says i owe £10,000+. In June 2012 they finally got their way after taking me to court for the twentieth time. The court keep me waiting outside for over 3 hours until a solicitor could get there, all-the-while the csa rep was in the court talking to the magistrate. Yes im convinced it was pre planned what was going to happen to me before id stepped foot into the court 20 mins later im in handcuffs and being lead away to prison for 25 days. at this point i’ll back track to 2007 when on yet another occasion at court with the csa, i was sat outside courtroom no9 at the local magistrates when a rep from said agency came out and asked me my name then asked if i had a solicitor with me to which i replied i did not. Her reply to this was and i quote “well if you dont then i can guarantee you WILL BE sent down”
Just proves up until this that the csa are a law unto themselves.
Phoned csa on 14/01/2013 and im sick of the lies they tell, lies which i can prove as i recorded the conversations with 3 of their so called reps. I mentioned outright that they were breaching my human rights only to be told we dont care about that. typical response. im unemployed and it looks like i will be until the day i die due to now having a bad criminal record.

JamesB on January 16, 2013 at 9:19 pm

I don’t think you have a criminal record just for going to prison. One of the things that cheer me up (and probably the chap who went for 2 years today) on the point of principle with regards to bad law is that these matters are not criminal.

Thus I would like you and him and many others go to jail rather than put up with bad law. I also, like millions of others would rather not marry then be subject to bad divorce law.

JamesB on January 17, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Well done on your approach Simon.

simon on January 21, 2013 at 7:25 pm

Thanx for that but i was classed as a civil prisoner now being told by said agency they can take me to court again for this debt. Told via legal advice that this is impossible as this would fall under the clause of double jeopardy. Statements from said agency state what i owe is and i quote “outside of the agencies 24 month collection” upon telephoning agency and stating as a matter of fact nowhere in the child support act does it say this so this statement is totally in contradiction to what the law states, only to be told by ????? that this is something that this gov agency likes to put on letters. NOT LAWFUL SO SHOULD NOT BE ON ANY LETTER.

JamesB on January 21, 2013 at 9:25 pm

civil is not criminal.

simon on January 22, 2013 at 4:40 pm

Yes civil is not criminal but it still shows on a CRB check. When and indeed if i’m lucky enough to find work, the vast majority of job application forms ask for a disclosure, do i mention it and take my chance that they will not check or do i be honest and put it on!!!!!!. Have to say the WORST part of all this is not actually going to prison (though that was a very low point in my life and i dont think i could have got through it without the love, help and understanding of my partner) what hurts the most is the fact that is was in the local evening paper (a one sided story , that painted me in such a bad way as to imply that i had NEVER paid anything towards my children, no mention of the £15,000 i’ve paid) its the fact that now ALL my neighbors now know my business and both my partner and I are now ridiculed because of this.

JamesB on January 22, 2013 at 8:31 pm

I’m sorry Simon, I am on your side. I do believe job applications only ask for criminal records. I don’t think you have to disclose it at all.

Darren Jamieson on January 23, 2013 at 10:24 am

Yvie is quite correct about the PWC reducing contact to increase the money they receive. Because the CSA has a ‘reverse pay per view’ policy for the non resident parent, usually the father. So long as the CSA works out money based on how many nights per year the child spends with the NRP, and how much they spend on contact, the PWC will always be financially rewarded for restricting or stopping access.

simon on January 23, 2013 at 4:08 pm

Further update had to phone csa Yesterday as they are now sending letters addressed to my partner. Sorted that then the threats started from rep again i.e. WE will send you to prison if you dont pay the arrears or we’ll send the bailiffs round to collect the debt . My response to that was You i.e. csa can not send me to prison Only a judge can do that, i also stated send then round matey and i’ll tell them what im telling you i.e. a liability order is NOT a warrant for you to enter my property ( Yes i know the law regarding this) and by all means bring the police with you as he will only be there to prevent a breach of the peace, but there again seams as if they get what they want and Jonny muppet has to like it or lump it. Self preservation at all costs again spring to mind and yes im fed up to the back teeth of their BULLY BOY tactics.
Asked to speak to their complaints department only to be told that was not possible and i would not be give the phone number or put through.
Just read with great interest that the gov is planning on doing away with said agency and ALL cases will be closed in 2014 and how it plans to charge BOTH parents to use this service. Roll on 2014 is what i say. You can find this info at…. http://www.gingerbread.co.uk

simon on January 23, 2013 at 4:34 pm

Darren J, your comment is absolutely SPOT ON stopping the NRP from seeing HIS/HER children will increase the award to the PWC. Its about time this so called gov realized it takes two to make a life. Children NEED both parents in their life, otherwise they will only see a one sided story, as indeed my own children think that i dont care or love them due to the fact their mother has mis-lead them to this conclusion, they think i was the one having the 2yr affair. If PWC refuses to allow contact with NRP then PWC should be taken to court, fined, loose any benefits or imprisoned, this i’m sure would make them think twice, but this will not happen because as i’m sure we’ve all seen money is the most important factor. As i’ve been told countless times by csa she can spend the money where she sees fit, classic example in 2007 i handed over £3000+ only for the ex to phone me a few days later to say thanx and to also say and i quote “My new decking looks really good” this i’m sure will benefit the kids no end.

mrs R on January 28, 2013 at 6:58 pm

To JAMES B, (1st nov). how can you say a woman gets pregnant on purpose without the mans consent??? surely if he doesnt use protection he is just as responsible for the pregnancy! contraception is not just down to the woman. you wouldnt cross the road without looking would you, (or maybe you would need a lollipop lady), so why not take care of yourself in other areas of your life. If you only want to paddle, wear your wellies!!!!!!!!!

Steve Warwick on February 6, 2013 at 11:33 am

I work my ass off 39 hours a week for minimum wage got debts coming out my ears from my ex wife and my marriage… My ex wife not long sign up for a new car on finance? ? ? My kids have everything they are living in a new house that my wife gets for FREE everything my wife gets its FREE she has NEVER worked and now im getting CSA letters for £250+ each month ??? So the only thing i can see that im paying for out of this CSA is the repayments on my ex wifes NEW car??? leaving me in more debt and leaving me with maybe the only option but to just leave my job that i love and have worked for 9 years? I might as well not work and just give up??? Where is my human rights? Where is MY life? ? ? I buy my kids things they need new clothes new trainers anything they need i do provide. Is there justice? Can anyone help me? Do i have to leave my job and just give up? Im willing to talk to news papaers or even go on TV i can’t be the only man that feels like just giving up his job all becuase the ex wife wants to live a nice life and have a new car and buy herself nice clothes???PLEASE someone help you can email me on [email protected]. Steve

JamesB on February 6, 2013 at 12:12 pm

mrs R. We are not going to agree on that. Try advising anyone up to the 1990s what you say and they wouldn’t even understand your argument, let alone laugh at it. As it is I barely do and certainly do not agree with it and do find the suggestion that you make that every sperm is sacred ridiculous. Just blaming the man and absolving the woman of responsibility is a cop out.

To be less confrontational, it is the woman’s responsibility as it is her womb and she has to carry the baby. Otherwise it is rape.

JamesB on February 6, 2013 at 12:15 pm

You are wrong on so many levels there, but I will leave it there. Rights without responsibilities for the woman as you and the csa argue is morally bankrupt and the same as arguing every sperm is sacred and a morally unsustainable position.

JamesB on February 6, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Having sex with a condom is unnatural, like the csa. Especially when you have been advised (as I was) that the woman is on the pill, or has the contraception taken care of. To be entitled to money for that behaviour as per the csa and denying contact as per family law is outrageously bad and un-fair and un-british and un-natural.

JamesB on February 6, 2013 at 12:55 pm

Plus condoms are against mine and many other peoples religion.

jim on February 6, 2013 at 5:33 pm

the csa are taking money from my wages because they say i am in arrears, they have been to my work spoke to my employer took me to court because they dont believe what i say i am earning is true, so people it doesnt matter what proof you have of your earnings if they think you earn more they will just help themselves and theres not a thing you can do becausr there is no one out there strong enough to fight these animals

John on February 14, 2013 at 2:42 pm

Since when has Statute law preceeded Common law?

Important matters involving children belong in the courts, professional, qualified personnel, with representation for both parties and not with the incompetent, bundling amaterurs at the CSA.

Public buildings are available to house the cases, and each case could be heard on its’ merits, with full financial disclosure from both parties, where a settlement can be agreed.

As it stands, the current shambolic system, is demonising and attempting to criminalise parents, through erroneous and flawed legislation.

Name Witheld on February 17, 2013 at 1:55 pm

I left my wife in 1998, her infidelity and mental abuse towards me was unbearable. I left her the house and belongings and walked out with just a suitcase. I was told by her that had to have the children every weekend and school holidays. It was difficult with work commitments but i managed. I later found a new partner, enter csa. My x told the csa i never saw children or paid towards there upkeep. Despite a letter drawn up by a solicitor under her instructions the csa still refused to accept that i had paid my dues as she believed that the money paid was for something else. I refused to pay and was threatend with court and prison, an action that never occurred as the evidence would have gone against them. Recipts, solicitors letter and proof from neighbours and friends. I fell into depression after failed attempts to sort things out and constant miss truths and downright lies. All the csa had to do was come visit me any weekend or scholl holiday, an offer they refused. I eventually left uk and my eldest daughter joined me after her mother kicked her out. I came back year and half ago and now the csa have once again taken up the good fight and ignoring all evidence, apparantly i can be judged retrospectively but alas ex wife cant. They now say i owe 7k and have decided that i have to pay 114 weekly, leaving me with 180. I get no benifits and my rates and rent is 100 weekly. How am i supposed to live ? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE WE CLAIME IS AFFORDED TO ALL !

1. 

   Marilyn Stowe on February 18, 2013 at 3:05 pm

   Hi
   I would suggest a call to Child Maintenance Options to check the calculations.
   Best wishes
   Marilyn

Simon on February 17, 2013 at 4:15 pm

Fact 1, There is nobody and i mean NOBODY in the UK that can fight the csa, they are a law unto themselves. If your lucky enough and i’ve been told this several time by several different solicitors to actually find someone to fight your corner you NOW HAVE TO PAY OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET as you WILL NOT be entitled to legal aid.
Fact 2, The UK government IS a company, a company that IS REGISTERED at COMPANY HOUSE as ALL BUSINESSES HAVE TO BE. UK courts are part and parcel of the UK government so this is one of the reasons that a court will find in favour of the csa no matter what written evidence you have to contradict the csa.
Fact 3, CSA dont care where the money goes (if it gets passed to pwc) this is their responce and i quote ” she can spend it where she sees fit. We can not tell her how or when to spend it”
The csa are there to ensure the child(ren) have enough money for their daily needs, if thats the case then this agency are trading fraudulently , the clues in their name CHILD SUPPORT and NOT EX-WIFES SUPPORT.
Fact 4, CSA workers will have an answer for EVERYTHING EVEN MADE UP ANSWERS, i.e, one recent call to them resulted in me being told “have you notified us of this change” yes was my reply some 12-13 previous” to which i was then told, and this bit beggers belief, did you make sure it was put in your notes, now i can do many things but physically putting my arm down the phone and typing this info onto their database is a bit beyond even what i can do.
Fact 5, you could try appealing any decision that they make but just be forewarned the appeal is made up of their own csa workers and this results in what, thats right you’ve guessed it the nrp loosing their appeal.

Paul Gilbert on March 1, 2013 at 1:08 am

I HAVE A CASE WITH THE CSA
ON THE DEC 2010 THE LINCOLN COURT, CSA AND MYSELF AGREED AFTER BEING MEANS TESTED BY THE LINCOLN COURT THAT I SHOULD PAY £35 PER WEEK NO MORE NO LESS OR PRISON IF I DONT PAY
WITHIN ONE WEEK WHILE I WAS PAYING THE SUM OF £35 BY D/D FROM MY BANK THE CSA WITHOUT WARNING TOOK £90 FROM MY WAGES WHILE I WAS STILL PAYING THE £35 TO COURT THE WEEK AFTER THEY TOOK £120 WHILE I WAS STILL PAYING £35 TO COURT BY D/D AND FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS HAVE TAKEN £153.45P PER WEEK YES PER WEEK AND NOT PER MONTH FROM MY WAGES WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN £35 PER WEEK
I HAVE BEEN LEFT WITH £20 PER WEEK TO LIVE ON FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS NOT EATING SLEEPING AND STRESS HAVE MADE ME HAVE A HEART ATTACK AT 47
NOW AM ON SSP OF £85 PER WEEK AND CSA STILL TAKES £35 WHICH AFTER THIS I MUST PAY FOR TABLETS FOR MY HEART OF £10 PER WEEK WHICH LEAVES LESS THAN THE RATE TO LIVE ON FROM £40 QUID I MUST PAY RENT OF £72 COUNCIL TAX £23 GAS WATER ELE AND IF AM LUKY FOOD TOO MY GP WILL CONFIRM HEART ATTACK WAS FROM STRESS FROM CSA

1. 

   Marilyn Stowe on March 1, 2013 at 12:43 pm

   Dear Paul
   You appear to be in an intolerable position but I dont have the full facts.
   Why not give Child Maintenance Options a call and tell them everything, and see if they can advise you what to do? Its a free service.
   There are a number of specialists online also who deal only with child support queries. You could contact them.
   Finally there is your MP who may be able to assist you
   Best wishes
   Marilyn.

Georgina on March 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Are the same rules supposed to apply to the pwc if they are the father? My husband was made to pay for arrears that did not exist because he had been stupid and paid cash at the insistence of his ex to ensure contact with his daughter. My step daughter moved in with us 2 years ago and whilst my husbands maintenance payment stopped he was told by the csa that he would not be entitled to receive money from his ex as she was receiving benefits. We have since been told this is not the case so contacted the csa who have adviaed that yes she should have been paying but unlike my husband is not iable to pay back any money for the last 2 years. So we are still paying back arrear s and she gets off scott free!!! Is this right??

JamesB on March 7, 2013 at 11:32 am

CSA dont chase female nrps. One of their dodgy rules.

Angry Mum on March 12, 2013 at 10:27 pm

My son lives with his partner and her four children that he supports as their own father is too lazy to work so contributes nothing to their care. His son who his ex girlfriend (seeing him as a meal ticket) deliberately got pregnant with lives with his mother and her husband who is also too lazy to work. My son is now at the stage where he will have to leave his partner and home to move back in with mum and dad and force her onto benefits because he cannot afford to keep five children even though he has always worked extremely hard often 60 to 70 hours a week and away from home four nights a week. The CSA just don’t care. He was forced to go bankrupt last week but they still demand more and more.

John on March 22, 2013 at 12:32 pm

Ok, so what laws are in place to prevent the mother from using the money on other things like cars and nights out. my kids are kitted out in nnew clothes all the time i send them to mother and they never come back in the items i send them in forcing me to to buy clothes and pay the money each month, school tips for 300 pounds then pay CSA 348 per month were is the justice in making women stop, they abuse the system and stillg et benifits. they shouldnt have issues with the cost of benifits they get its not impossible to live a steady life on that money i have girl freinds that are out every weekend party like rockstars on the mans wages and benifits. snorting coke drinking living the dream. its wrong i recently lost 300 pounds per month from my wages i am still paying CSA my new part ner feeds me, I cant afford food for myself. when do i get a night out or the luxury of running a car. just about make it to work. women have it so easy.

Sam G on March 24, 2013 at 1:03 am

Again and again im reading about the csa and their tactics in getting what they want and yes Im one of their victims after i signed my divorce and gave my exwife my half of the profit of £27,000 from the sale of the family home for the welfare of my children i receaved a letter from the csa saying that i owed £10,000 plus in arrears and if i didnt pay them i would be takin to court i explained that i didnt have arrears and that i had givin my exwife £13,000 for the children they told me that it didnt matter what i gave my ex they still want their money so i agreed to go to court and explain my position to them the day came i had my pre court interview with the csa bumbling mistake ridden offical to be told by her in her words its a waste of time fighting as she will get what she wants and the court cant do a thing about it of course she was right even after she lied in court about my statment but in my favour the sheriff did agree with my explanation but he could not do a thing about the csa and their demands I was told by the sheriff in court that i should appeal . They are above the law

Steve on March 25, 2013 at 11:24 am

They finally caught up with me… Ignoring letters ignoring them and they just take it out your wages in the end after 3 months of ignoring them so it did give me 3 months of extra money. Now im kinda broke. So my questions is… My ex wife is now getting over £200 a month off me from my wages??? She does not work and never has she is living in a brand new house for FREE and claims benefits? So i want to know if this will effect her benefits claiming CSA from me? Or does the greedy cow still get FREE eveything??? Does she not have to contact the inland revenue to tell them she is getting more money? I want to know becuase if she has not told them then i will??? Does anyone know ???

Yvie on March 25, 2013 at 1:28 pm

Since April 2010, even if your wife is on benefits she is entitled to the whole amount of child maintenance that you pay her.

Steve on March 25, 2013 at 4:24 pm

I know that yes she has the money off me for the kids thats fine but the money she has been getting for before for the kids will she still get that? Child Support money or tax credits or what ever its called? So your telling me she gets my £200 a month and still gets the same income that she was getting before she had the £200 off me??? Do you understand what im saying?

Yvie on March 25, 2013 at 5:48 pm

It might be worth contacting child maintenance options for check. They are separate from the child support agency and they are supposed to be impartial. Its worth a try.

JamesB on March 26, 2013 at 10:33 am

cmoptions are the csa. maintenance doesnt affect other benefits, and rightly so. maintenance. csa shouldnt exist and is morally bankrupt, but that is another issue.

mark w on March 27, 2013 at 11:24 am

i did the same as steve, ignored letters and phone calls from csa, they took me to court for £32,ooo three years ago which i pay £46.10 a week . was told i hadnt paid for my daughter since the day she was born , but my ex and i didnt part until she was two , and i had my daughter all holidays and gave my ex money but couldnt prove it . csa and magistrate didnt care at all. funny the money was mentioned a lot, but not my daughter !!!!

Lukey on March 27, 2013 at 4:53 pm

William, the system could care less about whether you get contact with your child, that’s a can of worms they have no incentive to get involved in.The courts & the CSA are interested in money – and how they can extract it from you.

That’s it. If you are looking for fairness you are being naïve – they are not interested.

Mike on April 3, 2013 at 4:39 am

Paul Gilbert my heart goes out to you.
Anyone who is the victim of financial maladministration I would have thought is entitled to pursue for compensation.
Through whatever is in place.Are they not accountable to an ombudsman?The tribunal service hears appeals but where the effect on someones life is as bad as your case I would be seeking damages.
The DWP are idiots these days.
A man I know could not work as he broke his arm and wrist badly and claimed incapacity benefit.A nurse (I ask you a nurse not a doctor)examined him and in extreme pain on raising his injured arm declared him fit.I helped him take it to the tribunal.He won.They (DWP)no show up.I commented to the tribunal chairman how ridiculous the DWP appeared to be behaving generally.His comment in reply was they knew only too well how stupid they were behaving.
There were 3 on the panel including a qualified doctor.
It took them 2 minutes after asking us to leave the room to award in my friends favour.It had taken 14 months to get there.He lived on bread,loans and sympathy.
Faceless nameless people playing a numbers game knowing full well 99 out of a hundred will just reel over and die.Unable to understand or face the process.
This country with the latest attacks on the poor WILL in my opinion by late this year be burning again.A repeat of Toxteth,Brixton etc of 1981-2 and the Poll Tax riots of 1990-91.
This government are hopeless with as no understanding of economics and what we face.
6 million public servants shuffling bits of paper everywhere when there were just 2 million of them 25 years back.
How I laughed when I heard Osborne state on election 3 years ago that they would lay 2 million of them off and they would all find jobs in the private sector.It was hilarious.
3 years on.No change.3 years on a benefit system of reform in chaos.Just as Real time Tax instigations have not worked Real Time Benefit administration expecting employers to do the work will not work.
Enough of that.It is heartily time someone argued that the way the CSA behave is in contravention of the Human Rights Act in regard to family life.
There is no fair trial with these people.They arbitrarily interfere with family life that is not in the interest of the child.How can that be in the childs interest to see a dad in contact (I fought for two years to May 2003 and acheived overnight wednesday,every second weekend fri and sat and sun and half every holiday for my contact taking on two barristers on my own over two days in court and walking out with a pyrhic victory.2 years to get there in something that should have been sorted round a table in two hours.
The way this country treats fathers and their children is still a joke ten years on.)on his death bed through a heart attack and so depressed that he cannot eat as he has no money left that his child in contact is affected.To see their dad ruined.Is that in the interest of the child or family life.
Methinks not.Someone should take these pratts on to Strasbourg.How can it be right that a dad who sees his kid and has no money left to spend on them when they come?

I am now on income based JSA.
I have £70 to live on.The DWP letter says that is the amount the law says I need to live on.
I travel now every week and sometimes twice to see my daughter in a round trip of 200 miles.Petrol alone is £35 for one such trip,never mind wear tear and all car running costs.Its a £200 14 year old Wagon R.Cheap as chips.
over the last three months of bad weather my daughter has not come to stay with me for the weekend due to weather and the fact that her gran needs seeing nearer where she lives who broke her hip on 2 jan.
On 6 March the CSA clerk rang me.questioned whether my daughter still stayed with me.Expained that had not happened since New Years Eve but would be starting again in spring.They said they needed to send me forms.Instead I got a letter saying frim 6 March they were taking 5 pounds a week from my JSA.When I said it was temporary and my daughter would still be overnight 52 nights in a year they said keep a diary.They have now taken 20 pounds.My ex has yet to have it.I have had to tell my daughter her £20 a month phone contract will not be paid on 7 April when due as a consequence.She was in tears.There will be further anger as when my daughter went without a phone connection for 2 days last year there were eruptions.”The child will not be safe” etc.If I can no longer eat how can that be in the childs interest.To make a child fatherless through death.When I questioned why they could not take into account my extraordinary travel costs for contact they said they could not as I was on a benefit and that was the law.I promised to go up there and rip them apart if I could not eat.They said they did not care if I could not eat.That the £5 would help my daughter.The mother is in debt.My daughter is scared.Baliiff letters are everywhere.She is worried they will be kicked out of their house.The £5 will be swallowed up in that debt.The child will benefit not one jot.She will lose her phone.The police visited me about my threat.The officer said “The CSA have a dreadfull name.try deal with it without losing your temper.He was shocked at my personal circumstances and very sympathetic.
I think its Annie get your gun time in this country.My child is nearly 15 now and could have done without a resumption of family hostilities about as much as those clowns at the CSA would appreciate a bulltet through the temple.
On one occasion several years ago when they had wrongly assessed me and it took 2 years and lots of wasted state incurred baliff and court costs on their part (that I never had to pay as they were wrong)I was constantly being phoned and harrassed by one of their collection team at East kilbride.In broad Scotttish aggressive tone he screamed at me to pay it (I was by then heavily in debt)and if I live to 100 I will never forget his wining scream…”We”ve waited long enough” Unsure on reflection on ending the call whether he was referring to Bannockburn or Culloden In have remained indifferent towards Scots to this day.For my mind that pratt would through my justice be required to spend the rest of his natural days with Gordon Brown rebuilding Hadrians wall and making sure it was 20 fooy higher.When complete he would be then be ball and chained while he dug out deeper Orfa”s dyke.
the anger I feel is all consuming.It affects my relationship with my dearly loved child.
I had the brain and resolve thankfully to fight and overcome the injustice.I now intend to take this on again.
The child cannot benefit from this nonsense one bit.
The CSA cause more damage to children through their incompetence han any errant father.
Yes we all know women use their child as the weapon and the shield in break up.To add to that great pile of ruibbish that was once deemed a relationship.
it is corrupt.state sponsored child abuse of the highest order.Mixing kids life up when all they need is the love and support a mum AND DAD can still give.
They are an institution that are without doubt “UNFIT FOR PURPOSE”.No child is better off through their involvement.
They simply wreak havoc and misery on family life that goes on after break up.
Yes we do have respponsibilty to our kids rather than rights.
The CSA and their insensitive policy show No responsibility to children in the wat they arbitrarily interfere in those relationships whatsoever.
And with that I have decided to take my case through the courts citing the Human Rights Act.To Europe if neccessary.
What a truly 3rd class country we have become that the CSA in pretending to be acting in childrens best interest can cause such misery and cause depression in familys that will stay for life.WE ARE NOT ALONE.Thank god they are finally being wound up.It seems some years since the Home Office (Home Secretary)very publically condemned them as UNFIT FOR PURPOSE.
Suffer little children whilst you weep.Your Government cares not a jot.

Yvie on April 3, 2013 at 10:49 am

They have not been killed off Mike – like Hydra they have grown a new head.

George on April 4, 2013 at 6:49 pm

First abuse of human rights is being classed as an ‘absent parent’ – this conjures up images of parents who do not have any contact. The definition of absent is ‘ not present, not part of anything’ which in many instances is not the case. I have always been very much a part of my children’s lives and have never been absent, I have always been available.

I personally find this to be every bit as derogatory as using incorrect language to describe other minority groups.

Fathers should have exactly the same rights as Mum does. My experience of parental responsibility has been appalling. I have had doctors turn round and say ‘I am not discussing this with you I will discuss it with the mother’. I have had endless battles with schools to get reports issued directly to me. I have even been into a doctor’s surgery to have records amended because the mother had changed the name of the children without consent, even though the surgery knew that I had parental responsibility. So much for equality, so much for wanting fathers to take an active role and that’s with parental responsibility.

The present system is not only riddled with inequality but it is incredibly biased towards the Mother.

My own experience over the last 17 years has been extremely fraught with difficulties and inequalities. I was forced to use the court system to try to gain access to my children which was subsequently blocked with an accusation made against me of sexual abuse towards my children. This was completely and totally fabricated and after several months of expensive legal battles the judge threw this accusation out of court with the judge making his point very sternly. Her bill was covered by legal aid, my bill was for me to pay and amounted to thousands. I thought that this must be something very rare, yet according to my solicitor he said it was all too familiar. He stated that it was used to wear down and financially exhaust the other party.

At that time I was a small business working closely with the public in a very small community. I watched my business disappear due to the very fact that an accusation had been brought against me. Double financial blow coupled with an already delicate state of personal worth. Psychologically I withdrew, have suffered huge periods of depression and find it very very difficult to let down the guard which is extremely high. My relationship with my children suffered and the stress that it has placed upon my relationship with my partner has been immense. (She has been my rock and I am eternally grateful to her for bringing me to where I am today) At the time I so wanted to gain custody of the children but was advised by my “children’s panel solicitor’ that it would be unlikely that I would gain this and in his opinion would cause further suffering to the children. I agreed and followed a path of contact coupled with a life of hell from the CSA.

I was determined to remain in my children’s lives and knew at that point that it would be fraught with difficulties. I wasn’t wrong, I have had several visits to court to reinstate contact along with a visit from the police when accused of kidnapping my son when he was thrown out aged 8 with all his belongings ( I collected him with 8 black bin liners with all his belongings in). I have been portrayed in a negative manner through the entire time and my children have been repeatedly prevented from having open access and are used constantly as a weapon of manipulation.

At no time have the CSA ever taken into consideration my bills for trying to maintain contact with my children. They are fixated on calculations and view anyone who enters the system as just not wanting to pay. They force people into debt, this by a government who want to regulate the loan sharks for this very reason. They use tactics that most loan sharks would love to have at their disposal and in my opinion appear to break so many of my basic human rights I find it hard to believe that it is actually a government that is behind them. Amazingly they can do all this yet allow asylum seekers, terrorists, sex offenders, criminals and those who just sit on benefit to do as they wish behind a guise of ‘my human rights’

I’m now coming towards the end of my nightmare with the CSA and it is still every bit as bad as it was right at the very start. Frustration is not the word, they are interested in one thing and one thing only, how much they can extract from the person who is classed as absent. If it does not fall into the equation they are not interested, if it is impacting upon your home life your health your work and many other factors that we all have to address in our life they are not interested.

We have seen countless cases of people taking their own lives due to the incredible pressure that they have been put under trying to maintain payments whilst maintaining contact and having some normality of life. We have absolutely no idea of the numerous people who will have become a long term cost to the NHS through depression, and stress related illnesses. Nor how many have ‘uped sticks’ and left the country, becoming nomadic, opted for self employment or just given up and signed on. Are any of those really in the best interest of creating a country where fathers are encouraged to be part of their children’s lives and taking an active role in parenting.

I have just had a £500 a month order placed upon me for my 17-year-old son and my 18 1/2-year-old daughter. I haven’t seen my 17-year-old son in over two years, the only communication I have been able to have is via social networks (when he can be bothered and I guess when mum isn’t aware). He expressed an interest in going to college to do graphics, the course stated that he required maths and English at level C, however it didn’t matter if he didn’t achieve this as the college would be able to find him a place anyway (bums on seats = revenue).

My stance was very clear, I would support him going to college as long as he achieved the required result. The last 12 months in the school year was spent drinking large quantities of alcohol, partying and smoking weed (Parenting?). As you can imagine he failed all his exams but subsequently enrolled on the graphics course that he wanted to attend (amazing, so much for supporting parents). True to my word I stopped maintenance, if he had been living with me that is exactly what would have happened. Your not going to college your going to work – which in my book is fair.

My daughter is studying A-levels and has listened to exactly what was required from her. I told her that I had no problem whatsoever supporting her through university and I would do this directly with her as she would be studying away. This is what we do with my step son and his father contributes a small proportion the same way it works its fair and its certainly not £500 a month that’s for sure.

The CSA inform me that I have to pay for both children regardless of anything that may have been agreed or not agreed or failure to meet standards. I am not allowed to enter into an agreement whereby any thing is paid directly to my daughter, even though she is an adult. What Mum says/wants goes – excuse me where do I fit in to this?

Daughter is rightly concerned now that she may well not be able to afford to go to college. I am also very aware that if I allow the CSA to take the £500 I will not be in a position to directly support her – Government, butt out your not helping. Where are my rights?

My parental responsibility for my son has been kicked all the way down the street, he’s basically stuck two fingers up at me with my ex stood there rubbing her hands because she can collect 6K per year and no one knows how much gets to the kids (do they CSA).

I am not only frustrated but appalled at how our Government passes the buck – 17 year old is kept off the unemployment figures because he is in ‘full time education’ 12 hrs per week (12hrs full time you are having a laugh) Mum has a vested interest in keeping son on full time education as long as possible because she is collecting income (payable until the age of 20 I believe). Next thing to do is make sure you keep the income below the grant level for Uni and further result because you aren’t then stumping any cash up yourself.

Daughter does what is required and deservers to be rewarded for the hard work she has put in to maintain the results that she has been getting. Uni should be achievable but will it be? How do I know that the money will get to her?

Those of us who are at the mercy of the CSA telling us how much we have to pay have no redress that is worth a jot. If its outside of the equation forget it. We are too few to have any power, we are all too busy trying to survive so we have little left to fight. Avenues of legal action are fruitless, we have no funds, no time, no knowledge – we just know that things are unjust but we can’t change it, don’t know how to change it. If I could I would fight like hell even though my benefit would be negligible at least others could benefit.

The system will just leave you a frustrated and angry father with no voice – how sad is that in country which contains the word ‘Great’

Great = Great at ripping off the easy targets.
Britain = Mess because those in charge couldn’t organise one in a brewery!

Observer on April 4, 2013 at 8:20 pm

GREAT post George.

I too (along with 1000s behind me) would not hesitate for a second to class the CSA as a criminal organization.

Interesting that Marilyn has avoided this thread. I find it sad that lawyers, who have the potential to be such GREAT opponents to abuse and inequality, actually profit (if indirectly) from it and so turn a blind eye.

1. 

   Marilyn Stowe on April 5, 2013 at 12:29 pm

   Observer
   I am not avoiding anything! I just havent had the time to consider a reply due to work and personal reasons.
   Regards
   Marilyn

Graham Taylor on April 10, 2013 at 2:34 pm

I have recently had a call from CSA about my son. My Ex Wife is very bitter that I am with someone else even though she was the one who commited adultary and broke up the marriage. She moved out of the family home, and I moved in with my partner. I pay all the bills for the home my ex and I own (still in both our names), however CSA do not take that into consideration. They have made their calculations, and despite being told 2 months ago, that I am responsible for another child where I live, they have not yet looked into that for the calculations. My Ex Wife also reduced the time my son stays with me, as she figured the less I see him, the more she gets. Basically she uses my son as a pawn to get more money. I am now wondering which debt I should stop paying so that I can afford CSA. Possibly stop paying the joint debt as this means they will chase her for the money too. This is having a huge impact on my wellbeing. I have no problem with paying towards my son, what I have a problem with is I am paying that, plus her debts off at the same time. She has her cake, and eats it too, while I struggle.

John Clark on April 15, 2013 at 3:39 am

My ex told the CSA I owed a boat, sports cars and motorbikes. Without any prove, CSA said I was earning more than that issued on my payslip (living beyond my means) and increased my payments. Spent money on solicitor who told me “forget it nothing can be done”. Under the stress had 20 strokes and left the UK.
CSA cannot prove I own anything but refused to accept this.
Letter sent to where I used to live saying warrant out for my arrest. Now can’t return to UK.

Mr. B on April 17, 2013 at 2:13 am

FAO: Paul Gilbert,

Paul the CSA get away with so much is because people write letters of complaint to them, even if the letters are recorded they still ignore you or send a response that means absolutely bugger all. I have had some considerable success I was ignored by them because when you send the letters that letter stays in that business unit and there is no exposure and their dirty little secret stays in that business unit. So I email the complaints team which bypasses the inbred morons in the call centres but as well as emailing the complaints team I copy in many other people like my MP – ICE, Ombudsman etc I have quite an extensive list for you to use and it does get results. In your official complaint email name the individual staff members and make a complaint about them too. People have used the document and have had some excellent results they have been ignored for years by the CSA plebs but since they have used this method cases have been closed paternity tests arranged arrears reduced, consolatory payments made the list goes on.

Best wishes

Craig

Mrs k on April 18, 2013 at 1:24 pm

after 11 years and only 2 payments, one taken from earnings one from a bank account my ex is still avoiding paying.
CSA informed me today that they cannot do any more to inforce payments. my ex has as much access as he wants.
he become self employed for the same company to aviod attachment of earnings, they have informed me that they can not do any more.

there must be something more i can do but what iv no idea.
any help much apprisheated!!!

Yvie on April 19, 2013 at 1:31 pm

Mrs K – would it be possible to come to an arrangement with your ex. without involving the CSA. The CSA has a lot to answer for as it seems to set one parent against the other with its high handed, one size fits all, uncompromising approach. It ‘s wrong when a father tries to avoid maintaining his children, but it is surprising the lengths that some fathers will go to avoid entangelement with the CSA. I hope you can negotiate something fair between you and your ex. which will enable you to close your case with the CSA and deal directly with your ex. In my view, that is the best way forward for the majority of parents.

Thick Bleach on April 20, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Craig – Mr B,

After many years of dealing with the CSA and their intolerable bias towards so called PWC’s I am now taking the time to complain. Years ago I was awarded a piddly amount for maladministration, but now after finding out the CSA are ignoring the fact that I have a daughter and refuse to supply a new calculation I am determined to keep on top of them and further demonstrate their incompetance. I’d be grateful if yo can supply me with additional areas of complaint as you describe…..it’s the etc part of your thread that I am interested in. So far I have five different offices looking at my complaint. So far I’ve received correspondence from the Appeals Dept. This amounts to incompetance #1. I’m not appealling, I’m complaining.

Sadly this is the only pleasure i get from any dealings with the CSA. A shambolic, contrived, unfair organisation, a carbuncle on a Great Britain.

Thick Bleach on April 20, 2013 at 5:57 pm

Question for Marilyn.

Where does one stand when the the PWC has lied and fraudlently claimed about child paternity? The CSA are not interested in recovering any monies paid because they were paid directly.

Thanks

TB

SteveWarwick on April 21, 2013 at 11:56 am

Mrs K … You tell us YOUR story from your side you don’t tell us that the father of your kids prob buys them lots of things and takes them out and spends money on them and prob buys them clothes and does provide in lots of ways??? The CSA can ruin a mans life and make it hard for him to live yet you prob dont even work and have been living a free easy life just like my ex wife. I maybe wrong but most females tell the same sad story and dont tell the truth of the fact that your just greedy and that most men do provide and its the females greed that takes over for her own reasons not the childrens . My children see less of me now as i cant afford to take them out having £200+ each month taken from my minimum wage puts me in debt to bills i can’t afford and also makes me not able to take my kids out and treat them. So as i said its all about the females greed nothing at all to do with making the kids happy with there father in there life…

Name withheld on April 22, 2013 at 2:48 pm

Hi since my ex wife devorced me and asked me to leave our familiy home, almost 20 years ago I have never missed a payment to her £150-per each month, in cash and personaly delivered by hand so i might see my duaghters grow up.
She did not alow me to visit any other time.
£150- each moth was quiet a lot of money almost 20 years ago and considering she had all of our family assets, including car, 100% owned house, shares, etc. Anyway this went on even after my 2 daughters lesft home and went to university. and since i have remarried with 3 childeren. (twins aged 6 and a nine year old as well.)
When my older childerend from my 1st marrage were in their 20s, they were no longer at home for me to see on my monthy visits, so i asked my exwife for her bank details to pay instead, which i have done for the last few years.
Over the years the CSA wrote to me damanding money as they belived that i had never paid anything.
I always wrote back, and corrosponed to advise them i was paying directly as my exwife wanted.
after not hearing from the CSA for 6 or 6 years they suddenly wrote back to me and damanded £47,000- as underpament of thier estamated assesment.
My ex-wife admitted she had recived some money but not all, so they then issued a court summons for liability order for £32,000-.
Last month I went to court with my new wife and childeren to prove i had already paid and also show them theier assesment was wrong as i do infact have depentant childeren, etc.
The majistrates just told me that they have no power to listen to my case even though i may have proof and were not [prepaired to listen to my side.
They issued the liability order without consideration of my evedence and proof of payment, for £32,000-.
I have had to raise by borrowing this money in order to pay them and have paid them in full.
My family including my wife and dependant childeren are now in direstartes finacialy due to theis life changing catastrophic and extraordernary kangaroo court hearing.
My ex-wife is now sitting on a lotter sum figure and my adullt childeren now mid 20s do not comunicate with us.
I have been told by the CSA court attendant that the only thing i can do is appeal to the sectery of state to question his law which alows this savage conduct, and told me i will need £100,000s of pounds to leagaly administer that process with all its fees and legal advisers.
My family is broken in every way.
This is an unbelivable story i know, but it must have happend to others?

Respondent on April 22, 2013 at 11:12 pm

Name Withheld,

I suspect that your problem is putting your trust in magistrates. These people are usually even more incompetent than the CSA. Don’t waste your time with them, and take your case to the high court instead, where they are under obligation to use their brains. Also, by the sounds of it, you don’t have anything to lose by reporting your case to the media. Since it sounds like you are going to jail anyway.

Yvie on April 23, 2013 at 10:32 am

Hi namewithheld – I am very sorry to hear your story. I would be surprised if yours was an isolated case.

My son was given a bill for arrears which he did not know he owed. He telephoned the CSA spluttering with indignation. He was sent a direct debit to sign which he objected to. Within a matter of days a DEO was placed with his employer. To be honest, although fuming at the high handed approach at first, my son knows that he has a record of payment which cannot be disputed. He requests a statement from them every six months or so. So far it has proved to be accurate and matches his own records.

JamesB on April 25, 2013 at 12:13 pm

The problem is, like with the Border Agency, it’s not really going to sell newspapers or get politicians votes so the incompetancy doesn’t get dealt with.
The CSA is bad, the UKBA are bad. We have no working system in either, everyone knows that, isn’t news.
I think the ignoring of the two issues here is partially why the UKIP and other parties are on the up as politicians seem to be doing something far more important. Although to be honest noone really understands what it is they are doing that is so important and PMQuestsions seems to back that point up.
I think the answer is to have publicly funded political parties and give MPs a pay rise then we might get some good ones.
I have written to my MP on the CSA and the UKBA (for my wife) and he has been useless on both. As was the last MP when I wrote to him on the CSA. I don’t know if the UKIP is the solution, but the status quo politicians don’t seem to be able to do much. Theresa May for example is apparently a good one and perhaps a future PM, yet she has presided over the UKBA failing completely and the opening of the Borders.

Sick of csa on May 11, 2013 at 10:21 am

My husband has nothing but grief from the csa this is due to two very bitter ex’s who although hated each other are now best buddies! They make constant calls to the csa so my husband is constantly hounded!! One case was my husband couldn’t have his daughter at the time the mother “told” him & because he stood his ground she called the csa & informed them he had not had the daughter so payments went up, the csa took her dates as truthful & couldn’t care less what my husband said, we have learnt to log all contact!! Another time my husband needed a new car( I say new it was T reg so hardly pushing the boat out!) surprise surprise my husband received a call from the other ex so payments went up again!!
The csa is a system ran by bitter twisted women who offer support to a load of bitter ex’s who have the number of csa on speed dial , this unfair system is only interested in 1 thing……. Screwing over their children’s father! Women shouldn’t be allowed to do it, the payment should be fairly decided taking both sides financial outgoings into account & not just the fathers!!
My husband totally agrees that all should pay for their kids but this does not give the right to vile ex’s using a system to get one over! My husband has had to put up with contact being limited just so the doting mothers get more money! I use doting very lightly as no doting parent would use their child as a weapon!
The money should also be shown to be used on the children! My husbands son has turned up at our house with his older half brothers oversized clothes, holes in his socks & shoes falling apart while mummy is uploading pics of her dodgy hair extensions & telling the world she can’t wait to open her Smirnoff lime vodka!!!!
The other has more wine than blood going through her veins but tells my husbands daughter she can’t have as much food in the house as daddy doesn’t pay enough!!!
The system absolutely stinks & before some woman jumps all over this I am not the evil new partner I have watched my husband go through hell , he is a brilliant dad not only to his own(when he’s given the chance!) but also to my 4 sons & our 2 daughters, he supports my kids financially as the boys father chooses not to!
The sooner the csa are wiped out the better ! It will be one less weapon ( well 2 now legal aid has gone )for greedy so called parents to use

BTS on May 16, 2013 at 4:33 pm

I read this post with interest and was pleased by the ruling, will it change the way the CSA operate? – No. I am in regular contact with the CSA, I used to pay through the CSA, not any more. Despite the regular payments my daughter would come for contact with no clothes, holes in her shoes, I was constantly replacing things, I had to replace all her electrical items such as Ipod DS as mother would not allow her to bring them for contact. Effectively I was paying twice. I now pay her direct and through the bank any additional payments I have can be balanced in the direct payments being self employed its easy to manage. She told the CSA I wasn’t paying anything, Then she told them the payments were a gift to her, then she admitted I was paying her child support. Now the CSA have come back again, threatening a summons, I sent them all the info they requested and they said they would get back to me, they never did. Today I have received a summons despite may many letters them, its dated 24th April, they have held on to it for 3 weeks and sent it with a covering letter dated 13th May. In my letters I asked them to give 28 days notice of a court summons. They have evidence I have paid my ex more than they have requested plus the clothes, electrical items, mobile phone. etc. I enjoy a good conflict with them and will continue to challenge them.
The CSA will never change. the sooner they are disbanded the better. The worry is what will follow.

JamesB on May 16, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Re ‘I had to replace all her electrical items such as Ipod DS as mother would not allow her to bring them for contact. Effectively I was paying twice.’

Yes, I do that, clothes, everything as ex will not give anything for contact. I have to change them from tracksuits with holes in when they arrive and put them back in these tracksuits when they go back. Some people can get very angry and bitter.

Sick of csa on May 20, 2013 at 9:21 am

It disgusts me that women feel the need to go through life so bitter & twisted & use a unfair system as a act of revenge! Along with stopping contact to get more money. The system needs to take a look at these women rather than presuming all men are low life’s & don’t pay! If the system can’t work fairly then get rid! My husband was informed by some rude arrogant woman that the csa are in control of him!! The csa employee is now apparently under going communication training after we made a official complaint. All I can say is all those nrp’s who live with the stress of csa keep going , there has to be some breaking point & surely all the unfairly treated parents should be heard.

Miss B on May 21, 2013 at 9:50 am

Good to see the NRP getting some support on here. My partner has been divorced for 7 years, has never missed a payment which was originally agreed between them. Two months ago (following a threat of the CSA from the ex wife purely because my partner wanted to swap a week night stopover for another) decided he would do his own calculation based on the CSA calculator as in all the years of paying support he has never taken into account the nights the children are with him. It appeared he was paying too much so decreased the original family agreement with fair warning to the PWC that this was happening and why giving clear calculations how he came by the new figure.

First we received a solicitors letter suggesting mediation (we chose to ignore) and then last week the CSA contacted my partner saying his ex wife had made a calculation enquiry on child maintenance and he would be required to fill in some forms to confirm his earnings so that they could clarify if the monies he is now paying is correct.

I must say we have found the CSA both helpful and certainly not biased towards the PWC (maybe we were lucky) – we spoke at length with them on Saturday to get some further information so we knew what to expect when the forms did arrive.

The forms did arrive yesterday so my partner called the CSA first thing to offer all the information required over the phone as was keen to get the matter sorted.

The CSA calculated that my partner is actually paying the correct new amount and they would be contacting the PWC to confirm this. We asked if she could appeal to which they said yes but she would need to get proof from the NRP that he earns more than he is claiming to the CSA. The CSA seemed satisfied with the information given to them from my partner.

Can the CSA’s calculation be overruled if the information given has been 100% correct – we felt there was no point being reserved on the truth as they will find out in the end.

We now await to see if the PWC will try and appeal.

To point out my partner is not disputing the monies he pays, he is just wanting to ensure he pays fair given the amount of time he has them overnight.

Jayne on May 24, 2013 at 12:16 pm

Hi , I just wanted to say how unfair being a divorced dad is . My husband has two kids ( now 16&18) and has been paying the correct amount for 8 years . The problem is I feel is that he gave his ex wife a mortgage free house , £60 k in the bank and took all their £20 k debt with him , he took out £100 k life assurance for himself so if something happens they would be fine . At now 18 he called the CSA and they said we still have to pay until sept as he is going to uni and may have to pay until 20 yrs for his daughter depending what she does at college . We have a 5 yrs little boy and we are all struggling so much with a huge mortgage , health issues due to worry and stress over finances . He only left as she was so abbusive and shouted and yelled all the time and he couldn’t stand it any more but her solicitor knew everything to get her as much as possible . At the time he was giving her £500 a week , paying all the bills and she stayed in the house and he had to pay his rent also . She is the one that got legal aid and every financial help that was out there . The divorce took two years so she could keep getting loads of money as her solicitor wouldn’t give any of her financial information . In the end they did it without her declaring anything and two years ago she had an insurance come out and got another £30 k which my husband should have got half of . It’s all wrong , she has so much more money than we have and know debt but none of that is taken into consideration and also what he has given her already . We never go out and she goes on holidays and has new clothes and kitchen etc . She has poisoned the kids against their dad and has been vile . Any advice about what we can do , we are at our wits end , sorry for the life story but I hate it all so much and it’s making us ill and I worry about my child thanks

Observer on May 24, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Jayne,

Like all of those blessed to have experienced this nonsense, I’m sure you’ve also been told over and again how this is all in your mind, and maybe you need to change the way you perceive things. And I’m sure you’ve said to yourself, oh, how doubly blessed I am now to be insulted by petty-minded bureaucrats, academics and lawyers to boot.

Now, for the sake of the kids, I suggest you ‘keep silent and carry on’.