Qualified solicitor Andrea Taylor joined Stowe Family Law in 2005. She specialises in cross-border divorces and cases involving children.

It is tragic when a family breaks up and children are left in the middle between parents - but never more so than when the parents become so bitter towards each other, they are unable to work together for the sake of the children.  Relationship breakdowns are rarely neat and are never free of heartache.

Parents suffer when they lose that precious day-to-day experience of living with their children.  I have lost count of the number of times a parent has come to see us in tears because they no longer see their child every day or because they perceive the other parent as experiencing more of the joys of parenthood than them.  Sadly, the inevitable consequence of living in two households is that even if there is an equal division of time, one parent is bound to miss out on something.

Unfortunately it can be difficult for people to extract their emotions from important decisions regarding their child. Recently I was involved in a case where the parties were so wrapped up in their personal disputes, they forgot to put their children first.

This couple had parted ways when Dad met someone else and moved out of the family home.  Continue reading »

  The law needs changing - the Government must do more than tinker at the edges

Although I believe that the increased number of unmarried couples has created problems that are not covered with existing legislation, I was startled to learn that the Government has unveiled proposals to make unmarried mothers declare their children’s fathers on birth certificates.  

At present, only children born to married couples must have a father’s name entered on their birth certificates. When a mother and father are not married, the naming is at the mother’s discretion. Every year nearly 50,000 babies - seven per cent of the total - are “sole-registered”, with only the mother’s name on their certificate.

The new proposals are described by The Daily Telegraph as follows:

Mothers will be forced to name their child’s father on birth certificates for the first time under Government plans which will improve collection of child maintenance from absent fathers.

The 45,000 mothers who leave the father’s name blank when registering a birth each year will have to identify him unless they can prove it is “impossible, impractical or unreasonable” to do so.

Once a name is given, the potential father will be contacted and ordered to register or submit to a paternity test. If a DNA test is positive, the man’s name will be recorded on the child’s birth records.

Fathers who deny paternity, but do not undertake a DNA test, will face potential fines.   

Speaking as a family lawyer, I’m less than impressed. Continue reading »

“If soldiers could declare a truce at Christmas, why can’t warring parents? Even in the midst of war, there can be peace.”

At the darkest time of the year, for people of many faiths, a light comes shining through the darkness. December is one of the most beautiful months: we place lights in our homes, in gardens, in our parks, to light up our streets, and on beautifully decorated Xmas trees to celebrate festivals that give us hope and faith for the year to come.

My own family celebrates Chanukah, the ‘Festival of Light’, with children lighting different-coloured candles every night for a week. They sing festive songs, eat doughnuts and tear their presents open with sticky fingers.

When our son was still a toddler, we took him to Disneyland for Xmas. On Xmas Eve we stood in a long winding queue round an enormous, beautifully lit Xmas tree, waiting to meet Santa. We could hear his booming American voice wishing each spellbound child in turn, “Merry Christmas little one!”

Finally it was our son’s turn, and he toddled into Santa’s Grotto. Santa looked at our awestruck little boy, staring open-mouthed with wonder at Santa’s red outfit and luxuriant grey beard.

“Happy Chanukah little one” said Santa out of the blue. I laughed and said, “How do you know?” He winked and replied, “Father Chanukah knows everything”.

Knowing that light in the darkness brings hope to everyone in the world, I feel so sorry for families experiencing breakdown. For them, this year’s festivities will not be as they were. As Xmas approaches, I have been listening to parents expressing concern, pain and anger that domestic turmoil will ruin their children’s Xmas. For children, Xmas should be full of light, hope and love - and nothing less. They shouldn’t have to endure the fall-out from ongoing vitriol, the distress of divorce proceedings and the time it takes to conclude a settlement. At Xmas, when children are away from their parents, or if the holiday period is divided up with disproportionate contact, the parents’ pain is very real.

I believe that with a good deal of effort, it is possible to place emotions on hold at Xmas, if just for a brief period of time. In 1914, English and German soliders fighting in the First World War declared a truce on Christmas Eve. For a few hours, the Great War stopped and the soldiers played football against one another. Even in the midst of war, there can be peace.

Continue reading »