There is a good first person piece in the latest edition of US Esquire magazine. In Do I Love My Wife? An Investigative Report , writer A.J. Jacobs has his brain scanned by a £2 million MRI machine. The aim: to assess his feelings for his wife using the latest findings, techniques and technologies that science (in the form of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York) has to offer.

As the writer explains: “How do I love thee? I love thee with serotonin produced by my raphe Nuclei. I love thee with testosterone receptors deep in my hypothalamus. I love thee with dopamine that floods my primitive lizard brain.

“Actually, I hope I love my wife with all my major brain parts – but who knows? The truth is, I don’t know how I love her. That’s the whole point of today’s experiment.”

The scientists who carry out the experiment believe that love is created by three distinct brain systems: one for sex, one for romance and one for attachment. Each system is affiliated to a different part of the brain. The MRI scanner monitors the activity within each system, by capturing moving images of blood flow in Jacobs’ brain as he looks at his favourite pictures of his wife and thinks about her.

To add a little more spice, the scientists take their experiment one step further and see how his feelings for his wife compare to his feelings for Angelina Jolie. When I read this, I thought that his wife sounded like one brave lady.

The results, when they come back, are interesting. Continue reading »

How many parents really understand what their children want and what they need?

Perhaps it was my reaction to the McCartney divorce that prompted me to take some time out for a week’s vacation with my son. At the request of a journalist, I had been considering what Beatrice McCartney’s feelings may be if, when she reaches an age to understand, a kind “friend” shows her a copy of Mr. Justice Bennett’s gruesome judgment of her mother. At the very least, it could cause her a lot of pain. And how will her psychological development be affected by such turbulence within her family?

People talk a lot about the impact of divorce on children. Even so, when I listen to some of them, I have the feeling it is only lip service. How many parents really listen to their children, to try and understand what they want and what they need?

 I am not divorced myself, but I do have a child. On an impulse, I decided to whisk my son away to the heat of the desert in Eilat, Israel for a week. I hoped to find out how he was faring in his student world. He has certainly been working very hard. As it turned out, he wasn’t the only one with plenty on his mind. Continue reading »

Romance is for life, not just for Valentine’s Day

A reporter from a local newspaper called me to discuss top tips for Valentine’s Day. She wanted to know what a divorce lawyer would recommend to keep a marriage together.

I’ve seen some interesting clients recently, whose experiences enabled me to give an opinion. Continue reading »