Faith, family and divorce

April 17th, 2008, by marilynstowe 4 Comments »

Faith can be of real help to those inclined to call upon it.

On Saturday night, millions of Jewish people around the world will sit down to a festive dinner called the “Seder”, to celebrate the beginning of the eight days of Passover.

It is an opportunity for the whole family to gather round the dinner table and retell the biblical story of how Moses led the Children of Israel out of Egypt, crossing the Red Sea and wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, before arriving in Israel, the Promised Land. They escaped slavery and avoided the 10 plagues, which “passed over” their homes.

It is a time for the children to take part by asking four questions of the family. Traditionally, these are sung in Hebrew by the youngest child present, who starts off by asking, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” Those gathered round give answers, enjoy their dinner and give thanks for their survival. It is a festival which passes on the story of Jewish survival against all the odds. Moreover - and importantly - it is a time for celebration of the family and family life.

It is the issue of faith, no matter how that faith is defined, that repeatedly comes back to me in my everyday work. This, despite the fact that faith is often viewed as being “off the wall”, “irrelevant” or the provenance of extremists.

In a world that seems to worship the “have it all” mentality, no matter what the cost, so many of us seem to have forgotten that faith can be a force for good. Faith can give us a set of moral standards against which we can judge ourselves and make decisions. According to a recent study, we are all much wealthier than we were 20 years ago; but how many of us stop to give thanks for what we have? What we have is precious, but is easily lost - and all too easily thrown away. Continue reading »

Divorce, law, religion and the Archbishop of Canterbury

February 15th, 2008, by marilynstowe 2 Comments »

Perhaps I have been fortunate; in my experience, arguments over religious divorce between parties are swiftly resolved.

The row over the Archbishop of Canterbury and his comments about the “unavoidable” introduction of parts of Sharia law has gone global. I have some sympathy for the beleaguered Archbishop, because he is a deeply sincere man and wholly committed to the Church of England. He appreciates that we live in a multicultural society and wishes to embrace and welcome those not of his Church. In general, I believe he has been misinterpreted and misunderstood. However, I can also understand how his comments have caused great offence to all faiths and have been viewed by many as inflammatory. He hoped to do some good, but seems to have achieved the opposite.

As the debate has gathered in intensity, the apparent “exclusivity” of the interplay between the Jewish faith and English family law has also emerged as a subject for discussion. Being Jewish and a divorce lawyer I may be able to offer a little clarity. In my experience, the two work quietly and successfully together. I also believe it is important to note that the relevant part of English civil law is not exclusive - but is equally available to all faiths. Continue reading »