There is an old saying that sunshine always follows the rain. The destruction of my blog yesterday was upsetting but fortunately it was only short term. However, today I have some great news. 

We have today signed up to a property in Central London, literally 2 minutes from the family court (aka the Principal Registry on High Holborn); and when a makeover has taken place, Stowe Family Law will be opening its third office. In London!!! 

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Many grandparents are surprised to discover that they do not have automatic rights of residence or contact with their grandchildren. But could their rights be about to improve?

This week it is my turn not to criticise, but to praise the Conservative Party. Newspapers have reported that the Conservatives, if they win the next election, intend to give new, improved legal rights to millions of grandparents in England and Wales.

According to the Daily Mail:

The law will be changed to ensure [grandparents] do not lose contact with their grandchildren after a family separation, divorce or bereavement.

They will also be put at the front of the custody queue if their grandchildren face being fostered or taken into care. 

As it happens, I am currently advising the research team at one of Britain’s best-loved soaps on this same subject. The storyline is top secret though! I have had lengthy discussions with the researchers about current law; they were incredulous to discover that Continue reading »

The Mature Times asked me to write about divorce and grandparents’ rights. My article also offers advice to grandparents who are caught up in such a situation and are concerned that they may lose contact with their grandchildren.

On family breakdown the bulk of attention will, of course, focus upon the couple and their children. However grandparents are also an important part of family life.

When I was growing up, my grandparents were my closest confidantes. My grandmother would buy me books and records; later, when I was living in France, letters filled with wise counsel would arrive almost daily.

As a maturing teenager, I could discuss with my grandparents all sorts of things that I didn’t feel I could tell my parents. I adored my grandparents and benefited from their unconditional love. They were there when needed and could be trusted to keep my secrets. My grandfather had a sweet stall at Leeds Market. As a teenager I worked alongside him; thanks to him, I learned how to deal with people. He was unfailingly friendly to everyone; several years after he died, a Leeds judge who attended his synagogue wrote to tell me how much he had liked and admired him. My grandfather made his boiled sweets in a little factory. Life in that factory and on that market stall was very tough, and the cold weather undoubtedly shortened my grandmother’s life. She suffered from pleurisy and died aged 61, when I was very young.

My other grandmother was my best friend. She came from a different background: when she was young she used to “take the waters” at Harrogate with her grandmother. Well-educated, she was one of the first women journalists in Leeds. During the war she worked in a munitions factory and lost a finger in an accident, but she never mentioned it or complained. My grandmother was a remarkable woman whose life story would make a quite a novel! I used to meet her for lunch once a week in Leeds; she always wore a silk scarf with great elegance.

It is difficult to imagine my childhood and my early adulthood without my beloved grandparents at my side. On my dressing table I keep a treasured photograph of them, taken when I graduated from Leeds University.

It is a sad fact that in some cases, relationships with grandchildren can be fractured or faded by divorce. In a worst case scenario, grandparents may seek contact orders through the courts; it is preferable, however, to resolve issues amicably. Continue reading »

I was recently contacted by a journalist from the Independent on Sunday who had read my previous articles concerning the rise of older people getting divorced. The trend known as ‘silver divorce‘ is affecting couples in their sixties who are maybe newly-retired and realising two to three decades ahead of them with the same partner might not be the retirement dream they’d hoped for.

The resulting article, published in yesterday’s paper, offers some interesting points and highlights how the resulting raid on dwindled assets – particularly pensions and the marital home – can lead to a significant impact on the final payout.

For the full article click here – I’ve highlighted the main points below: Continue reading »

A client came to see me for the first time, accompanied by her mother.The client was attractive, well-groomed and smartly-dressed. Her mother, meanwhile, looked drawn and tired.Mrs X began by saying she felt hot. Could she please remove her jacket and her cardigan? It wasn’t hot at all but my trainee, who was there to take notes, helped her remove them. It didn’t do the trick. The client was perspiring profusely, but this isn’t unusual for those who are stressed about seeing a solicitor for the first time.My client then asked if I would mind if she removed her wig. I hadn’t realised she was wearing one. So with me sitting there, beginning to wonder what this was all about, the client took off her wig and placed it in her bag. She sat through the interview, completely bald, and began to tell me about her cancer. It had been diagnosed at a late stage, she had a life expectancy of about 20 months at most, and she had come to discuss her children’s future.

Mrs X was 38. She had two children, aged eight and six. When he had learned about her cancer, her husband had left her. He had been unable to face her illness, and for many months had been having an affair. He had told her that she could have whatever she wanted from him and that his affair “wasn’t serious”. He simply couldn’t cope. Her concern was not so much about a divorce, as for the children and what would happen to them. She wanted her mother to care for them following her death. She spoke of accepting her terminal cancer but said that without her husband, it felt difficult and pointless to continue to fight.

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It seems that the increased divorce rate amongst over-50s is a hot topic right now. Following my appearance in The Times at the beginning of this month, the Daily Mail has interviewed me for its own story on the subject. It was published on Friday 9 November.

Rise of the Saga divorce: More over-50s go it alone once children leave home

Their children have grown up. Their mortgage is paid off. And they are looking forward to a long and happy retirement – apart.

This is increasingly the experience of Britain’s over-50s, with the number of divorced couples in that age group rising relentlessly despite the overall divorce rate dropping to its lowest level for nearly three decades.

Last year in England and Wales 54,034 over-50s divorced, compared with 47,763 in 2001.

The latest figures show that there are more than two million divorced people in the 50-plus age bracket.

In a phenomenon known as “Saga divorce”, experts believe couples who have stayed together for the sake of their children reassess their own futures when their offspring have flown the nest.

Rising numbers want a new start and feel the stigma attached to divorce has diminished.

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I was interviewed for a feature in The Times, which was published on Saturday 3 November:

Divorce rates are falling – except for people over 60. What is the fallout when Granny and Grandpa split up, asks Celia Dodd

Nowadays, few people raise an eyebrow at the news that another young friend or relative is heading for the divorce courts. But what happens when couples divorce later in life? What makes couples who have rubbed along together for decades mess with the status quo so late in the day? The unpalatable stereotype of the grey-haired man trading in his wife for a younger model undoubtedly still exists, but there is a new desire around for fulfilment in later life, and women in particular have the get-up-and-go as well as the economic freedom to do something about it. Could we be entering the age of the silver divorce?

The latest set of statistics show a continued rise in divorce among the over60s age group; a trend that started in 1998. This is in marked contrast to the 22-year low in annual divorce numbers for the rest of the population. Divorce among the Saga generation may be on the rise because people in their fifties and sixties are looking forward to a longer and healthier retirement than their parents, and feel less inclined to settle for second best.

The emotional fallout when older couples separate has a knock-on effect down the generations: it divides loyalties and even splits families. For the person who has been abandoned, it’s a bitter blow at the cruellest time of life, when all the props that help younger couples to get through have taken a back seat.

“Divorce is almost worse than bereavement“

A leading divorce lawyer Marilyn Stowe, of Stowe Family Law, says: “With older clients divorce is almost worse than a bereavement because your spouse of 30-odd years is still around, enjoying retirement, but not with you. Adult children almost invariably side with the person who has been deserted, and the grandchildren will follow their parents and, as a result, the relationship between grandchild and grandparent can be ruptured.

“I think there is an increased possibility of hostility when the children are grown-up because it’s easy for them to make black-and-white moral judgments. And I think the idea that their inheritance might go to a stranger is at the back of some adult children’s minds.”

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