Eventually you must make a decision… 

• 1. The mobile phone bill goes missing. If lengthy calls to your lover have sent the telephone bill spiralling upwards, the last thing you want is for your husband to discover that nearly all the calls have been made to just one number. Worse than that, you definitely don’t want him calling that number!

• 2. You stop cooking for him. If he gets home, asks what you’ve made for dinner and you reply, “I’ve made reservations’, he knows he’s in trouble.

• 3. You often talk about how good the window cleaner is, how the tennis coach has really improved your game or why the builders need to stay longer than intended. The wife of a rich, successful man, if she feels neglected and second best to the attractions of work, may find solace with a lover who has far less material wealth but does not substitute financial rewards for affection and attention. Continue reading »

I’ve heard all the excuses and all the explanations.

So, how do you know he’s planning to leave you? Here are some early warning signs…

1. He starts taking an unusual interest in his clothes and overall appearance. You have nagged him for years about boring suits and stained ties. You have urged him to adopt a trendier hairstyle and told him that unwanted facial hair really isn’t a turn-on. Now he’s taking action on his own - and alarm bells are ringing.

2. He takes out new credit cards in his name only and you never see the monthly bills.  This is a sure sign that he’s spending money on things he doesn’t want you to know about. Continue reading »

The examination of a solicitor’s file may be required if a fraud has come to light.

When financial cases are bitterly contested, there can be allegations of non disclosure and even fraud against spouses who disclose incomes and assets that are less than expected.

If the husband has supervised the family finances, his wife may know little about the couple’s overall financial standing. So if he is creative and anticipates a divorce, he may try and divest himself of assets in order to produce a relatively modest balance sheet. In such a situation, what can a wife do?

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Meet law student Abigail Black, who is working with us until the autumn. She has already secured a training contract with a major USA law firm based in London; from what I have seen, she will go far.

Abigail was telling me about some of the challenges faced by law students in search of good work placements, and I suggested that she write a “guest blog” about her experiences. We hope that her advice will be of use to other students.

Forget the endless university exams, the demanding coursework and the time-consuming dissertation; one of the biggest challenges facing law students today is working out where to go and what to do after graduation. Faced with an increasingly saturated and competitive legal marketplace, it is becoming more and more difficult for law graduates to make informed decisions about which type of law firm holds the key to that elusive career.

I must admit that until recently, “work experience” was a phrase that struck dread and dismay into my heart. I undertook my first placement after my GCSE exams. Two weeks later, I had established a firm friendship with the photocopier and could recite the tea and coffee preferences of every member of staff - but I had learned little else.

Fast forward a few years and, armed with a 2:1 law degree, I was excited but nervous when the opportunity for work experience at Stowe Family Law arose. My expectations were high - but I feared that, once again, I would find myself left none the wiser at the placement’s end. Fortunately, this hasn’t been the case. Continue reading »

Proposed legal rights for cohabitants have one reader reaching for the panic button.

As regular readers are aware, I hold strong views about the Government’s reluctance to introduce new legislation for cohabiting couples. I believe that cohabitants should be allowed to put their relationship before the court in the same way that divorcing couples can. 

Not everyone agrees with me. One reader has contacted me to argue that the law should not be changed. I think he raises some interesting and pertinent points about cohabitation and remarriage, and I would like to explore his case in more detail.

Continue reading »

Frank Arndt heads the International Law Department at Stowe Family Law

Our International Law Department receives a steady stream of enquiries from popular ex-pat destinations such as France, Spain, Switzerland and Australia. Some callers wish to know if they can issue divorce proceedings in England. As I have noted previously, many wives have good reason to file here if possible, because the financial settlements can be advantageous. Other clients seek qualified advice about the various legal avenues available to them, drawing upon our firm’s expertise in cross-border divorce, asset protection and our network of international legal contacts.

The department is headed by Frank Arndt, who speaks a number of languages fluently and has higher rights of audience in the Federal Court in Germany. He is a member of the International Society of Family Law and the International Bar Association.

Frank recently wrote an article for the online magazine Expatica, which is packed with useful information and has been well-received. In it, he details the “ten essential pieces of advice that should be followed by any ex-pat parent facing the challenge of family breakdown”.

I have copied the piece in full below. If any overseas readers have enquiries or comments, please use the comments section or the confidential contact form - I will forward all queries. Continue reading »

Or, as we lawyers put it, the “Objective of the Court in financial arrangements is to achieve an outcome which is fair”

Two round trips to London in the lasts seven days has involved two 5am starts, four train journeys, and a stimulating but challenging work schedule in our vibrant capital.

I enjoy London very much- particularly the buzz of the lawyers rushing up and down Fleet Street and Chancery Lane into and out of the nearby courts offices and barristers chambers. I love the wine bars and coffee houses the lawyers gather in and above all I am fascinated by the history of this glorious city, still obvious in the “old world” buildings and street names. As a lawyer I’m so proud to take part in this daily spectacle, but also very glad to be able to escape back to the hills of Yorkshire to breathe the fresh air and saturate the sight of the cherry blossom during an hour’s early morning run on the lush green “Stray” in Harrogate, before starting work at Stowe Family Law in a former Victorian Court House, overlooking another tiny, but pretty park.

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 Using a “friend” as a spy is the height of sneakiness…

In case you missed it: click here for my earlier countdown of the Top Ten Dirty Divorce Tricks, numbers 10 to 6.

Here are numbers 5 to 1:

• 5. Spending money wildly, as a form of “payback”. Some spurned wives choose to take revenge by spending as much as they can on their husbands’ credit cards before the husbands realise what is going on. One client of mine with an Amex Centurion card received a credit card bill for £30,000 for jewellery purchased by his wife from Cartier. A further £20,000 had been taken off his card and to pay her lawyer’s bills. In such cases, the household bills may well be left unpaid. The court does have power to add back wasted monies, so all is not lost.

• 4. Assaulting the spouse and the new partner. This tends to prove much more satisfying if it takes place in public, thus causing the maximum possible embarrassment. I was involved with one case in which the wife was found to have hired a hitman against her husband. In another case, the wife threw a brick through the front window of her dentist husband’s surgery. This was a whammy in more ways than one as the glass shattered all over the practice nurse - also the husband’s new lover - who had been sitting at her desk by the window! Continue reading »

In my experience there can sometimes be “darker motives” behind a permanent move to sunny climes.

The Institute of Family Policy has announced that across Europe, divorce rates are rising. The think-tank’s latest study, which is out today, has concluded that marriages here are breaking down at the rate of one every 30 seconds.

With one million couples divorcing every year, the number of people choosing to marry has fallen sharply: between 1980 and 2006, the marriage rate fell by 24 per cent.

However, my attention has been caught by a couple of statistics buried deep within the report.

Just four countries - Spain, Germany, Britain and France - account for 60 per cent of divorces in Europe. The three countries with the highest rates of divorce are Spain, Belgium and Luxembourg; there, two out of every three marriages are breaking down.

These are rather alarming figures - and it is interesting that Spain pops up on both these lists. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that this country had one of the lowest divorce rates in Europe.

To my mind, there are a number of reasons why. Firstly, the divorce rate in Spain has risen sharply since the government there introduced an “express divorce” bill in 2005, which has made divorces quick and easy to obtain. Secondly, I find that the popular view of Spain as a deeply conservative, religious country is outdated. Like its European neighbours, Spain has moved with the times - and the social stigma that was once bestowed upon divorced women has been significantly reduced.

One final reason springs to mind. My practice, Stowe Family Law, specialises in international family law. We have noticed that over the past few years, our number of expat clients - many of whom are based in Spain - has soared. Continue reading »

“There is so much more out there” such a person might say. “Ditch him or her, and make the most of your life.”

A constant concern of mine is the worrying role that “friends” can play in divorce. If I hear about a “friend” or if a “friend” appears in my office alongside my client, warning bells will ring.

In my experience, “friends” come in all shapes and sizes and are always loyal, sympathetic and helpful - at least on the surface.

However, clients often complain that their spouses’ “friends” have encouraged the breakdown of a marriage. They speak with anxiety - and often downright hostility - about the roles played by these people in the lives of their spouses. In some cases, “friends’” lifestyles appear to be incompatible with married life.

Such “friends” are often newly acquired and may be divorced themselves. They usually juggle hectic social diaries. For a spouse plodding along in a dull, lifeless marriage, this sort of person can hold a magnetic attraction.

“There is so much more out there” such a person might say. “Ditch him or her, and make the most of your life.” Following nights out together, glamorous lunches and holidays away, even newer “friends” may appear. Continue reading »