I’ve heard all the excuses and all the explanations.

So, how do you know he’s planning to leave you? Here are some early warning signs…

1. He starts taking an unusual interest in his clothes and overall appearance. You have nagged him for years about boring suits and stained ties. You have urged him to adopt a trendier hairstyle and told him that unwanted facial hair really isn’t a turn-on. Now he’s taking action on his own - and alarm bells are ringing.

2. He takes out new credit cards in his name only and you never see the monthly bills.  This is a sure sign that he’s spending money on things he doesn’t want you to know about. Continue reading »

Frank Arndt heads the International Law Department at Stowe Family Law

Our International Law Department receives a steady stream of enquiries from popular ex-pat destinations such as France, Spain, Switzerland and Australia. Some callers wish to know if they can issue divorce proceedings in England. As I have noted previously, many wives have good reason to file here if possible, because the financial settlements can be advantageous. Other clients seek qualified advice about the various legal avenues available to them, drawing upon our firm’s expertise in cross-border divorce, asset protection and our network of international legal contacts.

The department is headed by Frank Arndt, who speaks a number of languages fluently and has higher rights of audience in the Federal Court in Germany. He is a member of the International Society of Family Law and the International Bar Association.

Frank recently wrote an article for the online magazine Expatica, which is packed with useful information and has been well-received. In it, he details the “ten essential pieces of advice that should be followed by any ex-pat parent facing the challenge of family breakdown”.

I have copied the piece in full below. If any overseas readers have enquiries or comments, please use the comments section or the confidential contact form - I will forward all queries. Continue reading »

In my experience there can sometimes be “darker motives” behind a permanent move to sunny climes.

The Institute of Family Policy has announced that across Europe, divorce rates are rising. The think-tank’s latest study, which is out today, has concluded that marriages here are breaking down at the rate of one every 30 seconds.

With one million couples divorcing every year, the number of people choosing to marry has fallen sharply: between 1980 and 2006, the marriage rate fell by 24 per cent.

However, my attention has been caught by a couple of statistics buried deep within the report.

Just four countries - Spain, Germany, Britain and France - account for 60 per cent of divorces in Europe. The three countries with the highest rates of divorce are Spain, Belgium and Luxembourg; there, two out of every three marriages are breaking down.

These are rather alarming figures - and it is interesting that Spain pops up on both these lists. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that this country had one of the lowest divorce rates in Europe.

To my mind, there are a number of reasons why. Firstly, the divorce rate in Spain has risen sharply since the government there introduced an “express divorce” bill in 2005, which has made divorces quick and easy to obtain. Secondly, I find that the popular view of Spain as a deeply conservative, religious country is outdated. Like its European neighbours, Spain has moved with the times - and the social stigma that was once bestowed upon divorced women has been significantly reduced.

One final reason springs to mind. My practice, Stowe Family Law, specialises in international family law. We have noticed that over the past few years, our number of expat clients - many of whom are based in Spain - has soared. Continue reading »

“There is so much more out there” such a person might say. “Ditch him or her, and make the most of your life.”

A constant concern of mine is the worrying role that “friends” can play in divorce. If I hear about a “friend” or if a “friend” appears in my office alongside my client, warning bells will ring.

In my experience, “friends” come in all shapes and sizes and are always loyal, sympathetic and helpful - at least on the surface.

However, clients often complain that their spouses’ “friends” have encouraged the breakdown of a marriage. They speak with anxiety - and often downright hostility - about the roles played by these people in the lives of their spouses. In some cases, “friends’” lifestyles appear to be incompatible with married life.

Such “friends” are often newly acquired and may be divorced themselves. They usually juggle hectic social diaries. For a spouse plodding along in a dull, lifeless marriage, this sort of person can hold a magnetic attraction.

“There is so much more out there” such a person might say. “Ditch him or her, and make the most of your life.” Following nights out together, glamorous lunches and holidays away, even newer “friends” may appear. Continue reading »

A trust is an investment - so is sound advice.

Trusts are, without a doubt, bêtes noires for many family lawyers . A client attending a first meeting will expect clear answers, not waffle, particularly if he or she is the beneficiary of a trust.

Here at Stowe Family Law, we were recently visited by the barrister Simon Sugar. One of the specialist family law set at One Garden Court, London, he is the co-author of Unlocking Matrimonial Assets on Divorce, which I thoroughly recommend. We invited him to come here to speak about the content of his book, and to ensure that our lawyers’ specialist knowledge of various forms of trusts and offshore assets was sufficiently refreshed and updated.

Simon Sugar’s visit was arranged as part of Stowe Family Law’s in-house programme for Continuing Professional Development (CPD). This is prepared by one of our partners, Rachel Roberts, and is greatly valued by us all.

Every year we select a thorny subject and immerse ourselves within it. Last year, we chose cohabitation and the law. Professor Rebecca Bailey Harris, of 1 Hare Court, came to our Harrogate offices and gave a talk that was so clear and so straightforward, it’s a pity she didn’t publish it for the entire profession. It was brilliant.

This year, we have chosen trusts. Continue reading »

How many parents really understand what their children want and what they need?

Perhaps it was my reaction to the McCartney divorce that prompted me to take some time out for a week’s vacation with my son. At the request of a journalist, I had been considering what Beatrice McCartney’s feelings may be if, when she reaches an age to understand, a kind “friend” shows her a copy of Mr. Justice Bennett’s gruesome judgment of her mother. At the very least, it could cause her a lot of pain. And how will her psychological development be affected by such turbulence within her family?

People talk a lot about the impact of divorce on children. Even so, when I listen to some of them, I have the feeling it is only lip service. How many parents really listen to their children, to try and understand what they want and what they need?

 I am not divorced myself, but I do have a child. On an impulse, I decided to whisk my son away to the heat of the desert in Eilat, Israel for a week. I hoped to find out how he was faring in his student world. He has certainly been working very hard. As it turned out, he wasn’t the only one with plenty on his mind. Continue reading »

Some of the cases with which I become involved strike me as “entrapment”.

Following my comments about cohabitation, Mr. Justice Charles, a veritable Sir Lancelot in shining armour, rides to the rescue!

I am often asked to advise mothers who have not married their partners. They need to know the financial settlements they can expect for themselves and their children when cohabitation breaks down. The reasons why they have never married are varied.

In cases involving wealthy men, I have often found that the husband’s fear of paying a substantial divorce settlement is a key factor. Such men view themselves as open chequebooks. Yet they also want to have their fun. That usually includes an attractive woman and unprotected sex.

Some of the cases with which I become involved strike me as “entrapment”. I can recall one wealthy client, who had to confront a paternity suit from a Russian nightclub hostess after a one night stand. He had been wined and dined in a London club and, having drunk too much, had picked up the stunning looking woman. Following unprotected sex, the woman announced that she was pregnant - and paternity tests would later confirm that he was the father. This man was unlucky. Before the child was even born he was faced with the mother’s applications for housing, maintenance and capital.

Continue reading »

Could she have had a second bite of the cherry?

Clearly, Heather Mills was distraught when she stood on the steps of the Royal Courts of Justice and ranted about her award, the judgment and her treatment at the hands of the English court.

There are those in her camp who argue that the judgment was an extraordinarily cruel dissection of her crude attempts to present her case as a litigant in person, against the man who is arguably the best matrimonial finance barrister in the country. Quite why Heather Mills chose such a course of action is a mystery. But choose it she did, notwithstanding the fact that at present, a major criticism of English law in this area is that no-one can say with absolute certainty what the parameters are for settlements in short marriage, “big money” cases. There are so many possibilities. And so I wondered if, despite all the vitriol aimed at Heather, she has actually been an innocent victim of very unclear law?

When I read the judgment and noticed that the parties owned homes abroad, I wondered hypothetically what her position might have been if the facts had changed a little. What if Sir Paul McCartney, instead of being a homegrown superstar, had been a superstar in a foreign country?

If he had divorced her in that country in order to protect his financial position, knowing that the law of that country was much more favourable to him than elsewhere, and she had received only the tiniest fraction of his wealth, could she have come back to England and tried again? Could the courts - the same courts that made this week’s judgment - allowed her a second bite of the cherry and awarded her more?

Continue reading »

Settle your case on a continuing maintenance basis, and it can come back to haunt you…

For many people, a financial settlement represents the final chapter in a divorce. Generally, it comes to all concerned as a huge relief. Parties can begin to rebuild their lives, putting the unpleasantness of a break-up behind them. For those who achieve a clean break settlement, it will most likely be the end. However, for those who continue to pay or receive maintenance, this is not necessarily the case.

Maintenance may be paid for a period of time, with the court reserving the power to extend that period - or not, as the case may be. Maintenance may cease on cohabitation and will automatically end on the recipient’s remarriage. In other cases, maintenance will have no cut-off date and will only be stopped on the orders of the court, or on the death of the payer or payee.

If one of the parties wishes to bring an open-ended maintenance order to an end, this may occur by mutual consent. Both parties may agree that the time has come for the order to cease, the recipient spouse being able to manage alone.

Solicitors are consulted usually when there is no such agreement, and one party does not want to end or reduce the obligation.

Variations of maintenance orders are expensive and risky. As with the original application for a capital and income award, it involves going through the County Court or Principal Registry in London. The costs will be high - and as a result obtained for either party is likely to be disproportionately expensive. In a straightforward case, it makes sense to negotiate or proceed via the Magistrates Court. This is a simpler and cheaper process. However, when larger sums of money are involved, an experienced Judge will be required to make the determination.

There aren’t any winners in a Maintenance Variation. I don’t recommend it unless it is absolutely necessary, and legal costs are not an issue.

This isn’t all. Continue reading »

Are people who claim to enjoy “no strings attached” liaisons deluding themselves?

Is Britain in the grip of an adultery epidemic? Reading Angela Levin’s three-part investigation in The Daily Telegraph, you would think so.  Perhaps she is right. The newspaper provides positive advice to prevent it happening, and advice and tips on how to survive an affair. So all’s well then!

And yet, I wonder?

One client who came to see me was in no doubt that his wife was having an affair. The couple, both in their early 50s, led busy lives and their three children had all left home. The wife had a full-time job and over the previous six months, had become increasingly remote. Her behavior had deteriorated, and she had become argumentative, irrational and rude. He dreaded her presence, as she kept picking arguments and finding fault with him. My client told me he was utterly lost, and lonely in his marriage.

When he confronted his wife with his suspicions, she more or less confirmed them. In that he was fortunate - most people, when confronted about an illicit affair, will deny it.

So what remained of their marriage? I am afraid that for couples in this situation, the answer is “very little”.

Continue reading »