If getting divorced is the only available option, how do you deal with this unwelcome reality? There is, I think, only one way. Take it right on the chin.
If I was a philosopher instead of a lawyer, I would propose that life is a series of tests. It is how you deal with each test that determines the kind of individual you are. It will take time before you are able to move forward with your life and you will go through a range of deep feelings. Tell yourself to expect this, that it is normal.
Whatever you do, however, don’t stick your head in the sand. As tempting as it is to hide away and pretend this isn’t happening, you have important decisions to make. I will give it to you straight: this is one of the most critical periods of the divorce process. The choices you make now are likely to have a significant impact upon the emotional and financial outcomes.
Here are some of my most popular posts written for those who are about to go through divorce:
How to Choose a Good Solicitor
Where do you start? What should you look for in a solicitor? How can you tell a good lawyer from a mediocre one? This excerpt, from my bestselling guide to divorce, provides a simple checklist so that you can make the best possible choice.
Costs Questions to Ask at the First Appointment
The Law Society requires solicitors to inform clients about likely legal costs before the first appointment. Ensure that you are aware of your solicitor’s charge-out rate. Do not presume that your first appointment is free, unless this has been confirmed in writing. This excerpt, from my bestselling guide to divorce, sets out a list of the questions you should ask.
DIY Divorce: The Pros and Cons
DIY divorce has its place, but I would argue that for the unwary, there are potential pitfalls. DIY divorce is cheap on paper – but it can prove to be expensive in the long run, if you settle for less than you are worth. Click through for a brief overview of the pros and cons.
MIAMs and Mediation: a Beginner’s Guide
Many couples going through a divorce are now expected to attend an initial Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), and consider mediation as an alternative form of dispute resolution.
Introducing Family Law Arbitration…
In 2012 I became one of the first lawyers in the country to qualify as a family law arbitrator. If you haven’t come across family law arbitration before, do take a look because it can be a cost-effective alternative to “traditional,” lawyer-led divorce. The parties enter into an agreement under which they appoint an arbitrator to adjudicate a dispute and make an award.
Conflicting Out Divorce Lawyers: The Other Side Was Here First!
For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of ‘conflict’ this post may be an illuminating glimpse into a rarely discussed area of practice. Essentially, a ‘conflict’ covers situations where it is inappropriate for a solicitor to advise a client because of previous or ongoing work with another person involved in the same case.
Divorce After 60: Is It Ever Too Late?
If you have a marriage that you secretly hope will turn into a “silver divorce,” so you can run off into a starry future with another, think very long and hard. As I am ruefully told on many occasions by my clients, the grass is rarely greener. Furthermore, the financial settlements can be bigger. Older people will have greater financial needs simply because they can no longer work or are coming to the end of their working lives.
Getting Divorced: A Client’s Tale
As a family lawyer, I felt incredibly privileged to publish this post. As lawyers, we know exactly what we have achieved for each client, but we don’t always know how well we have done. I have also added it here because I think it provides just one example of what it can be like to go through divorce. Everybody’s case is different. There will be highs and there will be lows. But you will come out the other side.
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