Tips to surviving Father’s Day this year without a Dad

On the third Sunday of June every year in the UK we celebrate Father’s Day.

A day designed to celebrate being a Dad and the influence fathers play in our society; one that can be traced back to Catholic Europe in the Middle Ages.

But Father’s Day can be hard for those people who don’t have someone they can or want to celebrate on this day.

Those whose Dad is no longer here; who have never known their Dad; have tried but Dad just let them down and the ones where external factors have damaged the relationship. The list can go on…

For those people, here are three simple tips below to help ease you through the day:

Stay off social media

As Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy” and the last thing you need to see is wall after wall of #blessed posts about wonderful and present Fathers.  Or absorb the grief of another person’s loss. Put your phone away and disconnect for the day.

Get out into nature

Today is a great day (weather dependable) to get out outside. The benefits of spending time in nature are well recognised as having a calming effect and reducing the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Be kind to yourself

It’s fine to not be fine about Father’s Day. So be kind to yourself.  Do something you love today. Go out with friends that make you feel positive. You’ll have moments of sadness but sandwich them with moments of happiness.

Of course, every parental relationship is different and this blog honours all Fathers including those wonderful Dads out there raising their kids and those Dads who have been unfairly stopped from seeing their children.

 

 

Stowe Family Law Web Team

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14 comments

Dr Grumpy - June 15, 2018 at 8:03pm

Also let us not forget those dads who are prevented from seeing their kids on Fathers Day by a mother hell bent on subjecting them to Parent Alienation Syndrome

Jo Archer - June 15, 2018 at 8:14pm

Or you could always make it Second Mothers Day….because we do both jobs!

Stitcheup - June 19, 2018 at 2:40pm

You need to get a life Jo. You make a totally nonsense comment like that and expect people to respect your opinion.. Your blatant bias undermines any point you make. What about the fathers that have been widowed or the shamefully few that do manage to have custody of the children?? Do they not do both jobs?

Jo Archer - June 20, 2018 at 8:04am

Get stuffed. You know nothing about me and there is nothing in my comment about single fathers. Infer what you like. I will not be shouted down because YOU disagree.

Stitchedup - June 20, 2018 at 10:54am

Jo, your comment suggested that Father’s day be replaced with a second Mother’s day which is disrespectful to all Father’s, single or not, and lays bare your total disregard for the contribution father’s make to a healthy, stable family life for children. It’s typical of the feminist mantra that women do it all so families, read that as children, don’t need fathers. That attitude is eating away at society like a cancer; it’s promoting parental alienation and causing untold damage to the lives and wellbeing of children. So I won’t get stuffed as you childishly put it.

JamesB - June 21, 2018 at 10:06am

Lol. If we are going to do dodgy sterotypes, then, yes, you do, both jobs, badly.

Ideally would be two parents and children in a team, ideally together, although can be done well with then co-operating with each other if not together.

I have seen single parents bring up children well without the support of the other parent, actually, no, scrub that, I actually haven’t.

I have sympathy for women whos men walk leaving them with the child, although I have never actually seen that either, it usually seems to be women with attitude who kick out decent men and then claim they were and are bad.

Sometimes people, men and women realise, oh s**t we don’t get on and never will, and I have sympathy with them and they should work towards co-parenting apart as best they can for the children, not as you said doing both roles.

I agree with stitchedup, it is a plague on society that idea. As is the idea that men and women dont get on and shouldnt date.

I prefer the Waltons as an ideal. Alternatively a bit of respect to each other and humility (look it up) which it also bugs me that your post lacks. I may not like my ex, but I do respect her and always say that and never bad mouth her to the children and she is the same towards me.

You do your best, and perhaps your approach is your best and I do not know your circumstances. Thats the best I can say about you. It is hard. I would urge you to try and get the father involved if possible in a good way although that is not always possible. I am struggling to see my children currently.

The co-operative parenting thing is bloody difficult and its a pain seeing ex and also (unsayable) but the children sometimes of a failed relationship and I will give you that.

The only certainty I have is that court orders and csa/cmoptions/cmec/cms orders make bad situations worse.

Single parent families can be very lonely places, I agree with the article on that. For that reason I felt compelled to write, its not something to aim for. Indeed, children, especially boys from being brought up by single mothers without seeing their fathers, with no real male father figures can be a right pain in the back side. Like they watch all the macho films and go round punching and fighting people and acting hard and stuff, or changing their surname to mothers, and think they are being tough etc. seen a lot of it, especially at school. Then they grow up and leave the mums and the circle continues, and as with stitchedup I think its an issue and men and women avoiding / not liking each other isnt the answer either.

JamesB - June 21, 2018 at 10:13am

Lol. If we are going to do dodgy sterotypes, then, yes, you do, both jobs, badly.

Ideally would be two parents and children in a team, ideally together, although can be done well with then co-operating with each other if not together.

I have seen single parents bring up children well without the support of the other parent, actually, no, scrub that, I actually haven’t.

I have sympathy for women whos men walk leaving them with the child, although I have never actually seen that either, it usually seems to be women with attitude who kick out decent men and then claim they were and are bad.

Sometimes people, men and women realise, oh dear we don’t get on and never will, and I have sympathy with them and they should work towards co-parenting apart as best they can for the children, not as you said doing both roles.

I agree with stitchedup, it is a plague on society that idea. As is the idea that men and women dont get on and shouldnt date.

I prefer the Waltons as an ideal. Alternatively a bit of respect to each other and humility (look it up) which it also bugs me that your post lacks. I may not like my ex, but I do respect her and always say that and never bad mouth her to the children and she is the same towards me.

You do your best, and perhaps your approach is your best and I do not know your circumstances. Thats the best I can say about you. It is hard. I would urge you to try and get the father involved if possible in a good way although that is not always possible. I am struggling to see my children currently.

The co-operative parenting thing is bloody difficult and its a pain seeing ex and also (unsayable) but the children sometimes of a failed relationship and I will give you that.

The only certainty I have is that court orders and csa/cmoptions/cmec/cms orders make bad situations worse.

Single parent families can be very lonely places, I agree with the article on that. For that reason I felt compelled to write, its not something to aim for. Indeed, children, especially boys from being brought up by single mothers without seeing their fathers, with no real male father figures can be a right pain in the back side. Like they watch all the macho films and go round punching and fighting people and acting hard and stuff, or changing their surname to mothers, and think they are being tough etc. seen a lot of it, especially at school. Then they grow up and leave the mums and the circle continues, and as with stitchedup I think its an issue and men and women avoiding / not liking each other isnt the answer either.

Andy - June 15, 2018 at 10:38pm

Very one sided as stereotypical of thefather figure.
He has left and as commented a BAD father…

Let’s not forget the system that has made the BAD father. For one the unequal diversion of a once family home with unequal financial and raided with large helpings of CMS payments and of course how incompetent they are…
Plus any spousal payments and of course the pension raid.. Etc etc..

So let’s look at the Father’s day when he is not around.. Perhaps he has no stable place to live perhaps he does not want his children to see the single bed sit room. Perhaps he cannot afford to support Father’s day.. And the situation goes on with little regard for this bias story..

Just one point to make.. Try living like a dog and you will See how low the decimated Father is expected to carry on a normal life..
For the now very financially well off and generous financial payments to support hard ship..
Just ask any Ex Father and this shout volumes
Trouble is the law is out of date but supports the mother every time..

JamesB - June 21, 2018 at 12:20pm

Very valid points, well made. You are right that the bias is in the MCA 1973, the CSA 1991, and pensions act 1999. Also in Westminster bubble.

People (like David Cameron, the media, et al) who call fathers bad because of the above are very ignorant, ill informed, ill informing, and making matters worse.

Paul Massey - June 16, 2018 at 8:34am

It’s a shame that dads who have been alienated get only a footnote and even then in poor English with a word left out

JamesB - June 20, 2018 at 8:28pm

I was pleased to receive a card from my son and daughter through the post this Father’s day. 1st time. Took 13 and a half years and my 14 year old daughter having the thought and acting against her mum’s wishes and PAS. Not sure the moral of the story, just a nice fact.

Stuart - June 21, 2018 at 2:50pm

James that is so lovely to hear. Congratulations and thank you for telling us as it gives hope to many alienated parents

JamesB - June 22, 2018 at 9:27am

:-).

JamesB - June 22, 2018 at 9:28am

Yes, I suppose it does. She is remarried and dislikes me but I will always be their Dad and she can’t take that away and make him that even though she would like to.

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