Baking a big deal of divorce
Yes, ‘baking’, you read that right. I’m a fan of the Huffington Post, and like to drop by its divorce pages from time to time to catch up on the latest stories. This section was set up by someone I greatly admired, American writer Nora Ephron. She also coined its mordant and memorable slogan Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.
Earlier today I logged on to find a photo story on the site called Revenge Is Sweet: 10 Hilarious Divorce Cakes. Divorce cakes are, perhaps the inevitable accompaniment to an increasingly popular trend– the divorce party, in which the newly liberated/ cast aside get together with their friends and family to joke, laugh (or smile through the tears), and focus themselves firmly on what will always be is the most important part of their lives: the future.
Of course, such parties are a deliberate attempt to twist the traditional view of divorce as something sad, tragic and slightly shameful. It’s easy to feel like a victim in a divorce – a victim of circumstances perhaps, of infidelity or your partner’s inexplicable desire to leave. Why not a throw a party instead of feeling beaten, something that says ‘down but not out, ready for the next round!’
Wedding cakes contain almost as much tradition as they do eggs and flour, so buying or baking a divorce cake for your divorce party is a richly symbolic way to mark the end of an era. Some of the cakes featured in the Huffington Post story are warmly witty, some blackly humorous, some cathartically gruesome. Each is clearly a way for the party-thrower to close the door on one chapter of their lives and move on to the next. I think funny and tenacious Nora Ephron would have approved.
In my capacity as a divorce lawyer, I have seen many clients at the lowest of ebbs – in shock, crying, incredulous that this calamity has befallen them. But the time will always come when they feel ready to move on, even if some take longer to reach that point than others.. When the ink dries on their divorce settlement, the rest of their life will be waiting . If a garish cake and a blackly funny party helps them to reach that point sooner rather than later, then I say compose those invites and get baking.
Photo by Jen via Flickr under a Creative Commons licence
Share this post
Get free family law updates
Marilyn Stowe’s new book: expert advice on all aspects of divorce, from just 99p!
Divorce & Splitting Up by Marilyn Stowe is the essential how-to book for anyone who is getting divorced or splitting up from a partner. Read more >>
"A must buy that really opens your eyes to what is involved if you are considering or going through a divorce." - Amanda Brown
"This will answer your questions in a way that non-lawyers can understand." - Miss P.
"Don't get divorced without it. I read this book despite being divorced for more than 10 years. I wish I'd had this book to hand at the time. Great examples, simple to read and understand." - Jamie
"This really has helped me to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I will come out of it a stronger person." - J
Marilyn Stowe on SKY News & ITV This Morning
- Nick on Divorce, joint tenancy and how to prepare for the unexpected
- Emma on Divorce, joint tenancy and how to prepare for the unexpected
- Andrew on Boy taken from his mother after she feeds him 9 litres of goat’s milk a day
- Name Witheld on Divorce, joint tenancy and how to prepare for the unexpected
- JamesB on The importance of talking to one another by John Bolch
Subscribe & Follow
In the Media
Marilyn Stowe is the senior partner in Stowe Family Law, which has offices in Yorkshire, Cheshire and London. With more than 30 years’ experience handling divorce cases and family law proceedings she is regarded as one of the most formidable and sought after divorce lawyers in the UK. In 2012, Marilyn became one of the first solicitors to qualify as a family law arbitrator.
All persons mentioned in the scenarios are fictitious: details have been deliberately changed in order to protect identities and other confidential circumstances of my clients. All advice and information on this blog including posts written by guest authors, is given only as a general guide to the operation of the law on the date of publication. Readers must place no reliance whatsoever on the content of this blog and must always obtain their own legal advice. Marilyn Stowe, Stowe Family Law LLP and guest authors accept no liability whatsoever arising as a result of reliance upon its content.
Contact Stowe Family Law
These downloads accompany Marilyn Stowe's latest book: Divorce & Splitting Up: Advice From a Top Divorce Lawyer. After opening, right click to save to your computer.
For more free downloads, visit the Downloads section.