Baking a big deal of divorce
Yes, ‘baking’, you read that right. I’m a fan of the Huffington Post, and like to drop by its divorce pages from time to time to catch up on the latest stories. This section was set up by someone I greatly admired, American writer Nora Ephron. She also coined its mordant and memorable slogan Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.
Earlier today I logged on to find a photo story on the site called Revenge Is Sweet: 10 Hilarious Divorce Cakes. Divorce cakes are, perhaps the inevitable accompaniment to an increasingly popular trend– the divorce party, in which the newly liberated/ cast aside get together with their friends and family to joke, laugh (or smile through the tears), and focus themselves firmly on what will always be is the most important part of their lives: the future.
Of course, such parties are a deliberate attempt to twist the traditional view of divorce as something sad, tragic and slightly shameful. It’s easy to feel like a victim in a divorce – a victim of circumstances perhaps, of infidelity or your partner’s inexplicable desire to leave. Why not a throw a party instead of feeling beaten, something that says ‘down but not out, ready for the next round!’
Wedding cakes contain almost as much tradition as they do eggs and flour, so buying or baking a divorce cake for your divorce party is a richly symbolic way to mark the end of an era. Some of the cakes featured in the Huffington Post story are warmly witty, some blackly humorous, some cathartically gruesome. Each is clearly a way for the party-thrower to close the door on one chapter of their lives and move on to the next. I think funny and tenacious Nora Ephron would have approved.
In my capacity as a divorce lawyer, I have seen many clients at the lowest of ebbs – in shock, crying, incredulous that this calamity has befallen them. But the time will always come when they feel ready to move on, even if some take longer to reach that point than others.. When the ink dries on their divorce settlement, the rest of their life will be waiting . If a garish cake and a blackly funny party helps them to reach that point sooner rather than later, then I say compose those invites and get baking.
Photo by Jen via Flickr under a Creative Commons licence
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Marilyn Stowe is the senior partner in Stowe Family Law, which has offices in Yorkshire, Cheshire and London. With more than 30 years’ experience handling divorce cases and family law proceedings she is regarded as one of the most formidable and sought after divorce lawyers in the UK. In 2012, Marilyn became one of the first solicitors to qualify as a family law arbitrator.
All persons mentioned in the scenarios are fictitious: details have been deliberately changed in order to protect identities and other confidential circumstances of my clients. All advice and information on this blog including posts written by guest authors, is given only as a general guide to the operation of the law on the date of publication. Readers must place no reliance whatsoever on the content of this blog and must always obtain their own legal advice. Marilyn Stowe, Stowe Family Law LLP and guest authors accept no liability whatsoever arising as a result of reliance upon its content.
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