Marilyn Stowe Blog

Heartbroken wife vandalizes courthouse to protest divorce

A woman being divorced by her husband has illustrated her heartbreak in a case of vandalism on a Florida courthouse.

Audrey Dostie, a 35 year-old in the midst of a bitter divorce, vandalized the courthouse at Jacksonville, Florida, where her case is being heard. Armed with a can of purple spray paint she was arrested having sprayed broken hearts onto the pillars of the $350 million courthouse and on the pavement outside. Messages to her husband included ‘I (heart) you’. She wrote messages to her son in graffiti and to the judge presiding over the case, the latter begging ‘FREE US’.

Mrs Dostie then vandalized the offices of her husband’s home building company, Dostie Homes, although it was outside the courthouse that she was arrested by a patrolling policeman and later charged with criminal mischief.

Mrs Dostie has a restraining order against her, imposed after allegations made by her husband that she was physically abusive. She is now being held by police pending a mental health evaluation.

Divorce can cause the most serious trauma that in happier times would never be even the faintest possibility. The desire for revenge, the desire to punish, to lash out, to hurt – should never be underestimated particularly if alcohol is involved.

During the course of my own career, I have come across countless examples of heartbroken women who have violently assaulted their men, destroyed their most valued possessions and often in a desire to humiliate have attempted to destroy their careers. The courts are packed full of women who “lose it” but don’t think what will happen after they have had their way.

So if the possessions are destroyed, you will have to repay the damage. His job is put on the line by a report to his supervisor or partners, you will have to stand the loss to your own income as a result. The Inland Revenue become aware of his wrong doings – you will have to stand part of the loss to the capital pot. If you refuse to let him have the children – you could end up losing them.

There are always consequences of a maliciously fuelled desire for revenge. In some cases the loss to you won’t just be financial. It could be prison. It could be the loss of your children. It could be all of it.

If you are feeling like you need revenge, you need to hurt him like he hurt you, please, don’t do it instead go and see a doctor. Get some counseling. Ask for some short term anti depressants if necessary. Talk it through and recognize that what you are experiencing however traumatic, is normal.

Whatever he has done, however bad (and chances are it will have been) it is now, firmly in the past. The future beckons. Take it all on the chin, don’t waste your valuable energy on negative emotions. Move on …and up. Don’t look back however tempting, say late at night with only a bottle of wine for company. Pour it down the sink. Tell yourself, Life will improve but YOU have to do it.

And I promise you, it will.

Photo by tanakawho under a Creative Commons licence