Marilyn Stowe Blog

Truth comes in black and white – and all the shades of grey in between

Divorce lawyers are used to changing sides. During a typical day, I might see a wife whose husband has left her for another woman. Afterwards I might advise a husband who has left his own wife for another woman. Then I might see a woman who is leaving her husband for another man. Finally, a husband whose wife has left him. I advise them all; it is second nature to me now. Overall I believe that such experiences give me a balanced view. I can give good, objective advice because my recommendations are based on knowledge that comes with having acted for different people caught up in different situations.

Sometimes the media also become involved in my cases. I know and have worked with a number of journalists, and I admire them greatly – but sometimes I find that others accept a “good story” in good faith, regardless of its veracity. After all, it is easy to simply reproduce a press release.

Not so long ago I read a story about one of my own clients. The story had cascaded across the media and I knew for certain that it painted a picture of my client and a particular situation that was, frankly, erroneous. My client declined to respond and faced this unwanted media attention with great courage and dignity.

At Stowe Family Law we regard client confidentiality as paramount; elsewhere, however, the circulation of press releases by or on behalf of clients going through divorce appears to be growing. In my experience, the courts are becoming wise to this and pay little attention to it. In my client’s case, that certainly happened.

Of course, we are now bombarded by public relations campaigns in almost every walk of life.  The press, broadcast media, the “blogosphere” – they are all influential. Around the world, the PR industry flourishes. It plays a part in all our lives, whether we realise it or not.

It is often said that there are “two sides to every story”. But if we are given half the story, or if those two sides contradict one another, or if we are drip-fed details that don’t add up, where can the truth, or a more “balanced” version of events be found? It can be difficult but, just as the courts are giving short shrift to media campaigns waged by furious spouses, have you noticed that in general, there seems to be an increased public awareness of so-called “spin” – and a lower regard for it?

PR certainly worked when we voted Tony Blair into office; 13 years later, we are more media savvy. This time around, we did our best to see through the spin and vote for the people we wanted to represent us in government. It may have been The Sun “wot won it” once upon a time; in 2010, the newspaper’s favoured candidate failed to win an overall majority.

Then there are the recent events off the Gaza coast, which have aroused strong feelings – and a tide of media coverage. Regular readers will be aware of my faith and my beliefs about the State of Israel: it is my hope and belief that the Arab-Israeli conflict can be resolved with both sides embracing peaceful coexistence, instead of waging war.

Yesterday, as the ship ‘Rachel Corrie’ carried a number of Gazan activists into the Israeli port of Ashdod in the glare of worldwide media coverage, I was reading a striking post on The Spectator’s Coffee House blog. The post is called The other Rachel, and it shines a light upon all the Rachels who have tragically played a part in this terrible conflict.

Rachel Corrie, the young American who died when offering herself as a human shield in Gaza, is the best known. According to the post she has had some 30 songs, a London play and a film written about her. But this piece also focused upon another Rachel who died in similarly horrible circumstances. She was Rachel Thaler: a 16-year-old British girl who died eating pizza in a suicide bombing in Israel. It appears that her death did not even make the British media. Other Rachels died waiting for a bus, or eating dinner with their families. All were murdered in the name of this awful conflict.

Perhaps one of the bravest was Rachel Levy, who died aged 17. She saw a female suicide bomber who was about to enter a packed Jerusalem supermarket, struggling with a security guard. Without a thought, she threw herself onto the bomber and together with the security guard, was blown up, thereby saving the lives of hundreds of others inside the supermarket.  Relatively few people know that Rachel Levy ever existed – perhaps that is set to change. I do hope so: isn’t this Rachel’s life, this Rachel’s story, this Rachel’s voice as valuable as another’s?

I suppose that one advantage of this Information Age is that all of a sudden, so many lives, stories, voices and contrasting viewpoints are readily accessible to us, should we seek to learn from them. Newspapers present their facts in black and white: black ink on white paper, or black text on a white screen. The truth, however, is not always that simple. Like life, it often comes in shades of grey.

Image credit: Cielchen.