Comments on: Maintenance payments and a new partner: bad news for cohabitees? (Part 2) http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/ Where Family Law Meets Family Life Sun, 20 May 2012 21:43:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Annabel H http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-42663 Annabel H Sun, 20 May 2012 21:43:02 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-42663 I have just read a few comments above; having already asked for Marilyns' excellent advice a couple of weeks ago. My husband is in the position whereby his ex-wife who he divorced thirteen years ago; is making an application for Substantial Maintenance Payments or a consolidation of such. We have just discovered that this is amounting to £40,000. This is after she had been given the Marital home, all assets, savings, shares, ISA's and the contents of two homes (the other was attached to his work as a Housemaster). Our understanding at the time was that my husband had achieved a clean break and that his pension had been offset against the entire matrimonial assets. This whole episode has come about due to the inclusion of a 5p per year Nominal maintenance order which has given her 'liberty to apply' . We are now in the process of being dragged towards Trial with costs rising towards £20,000. We have had to take out a loan to pay for this. His ex-wife has savings in excess of £52,000 and is quite happy to spend it on a vendetta to bankrupt us. I agree with Sam, I am afraid Helen. I have also had a very poor financial settlement but in the final analysis you just have to take the hit and move on with your life. This particular form of Litigation is so destructive, not only for the parties concerned but for the wider family who are also dragged along in the detritus of these wrangling's. The Courts must understand that there must be a clean break in ALL circumstances, however that is achieved; whether the mother gets the matrimonial home and the husband keeps his pension; the children's interests will always be looked after whilst they are vulnerable and wives must learn that being dependent on another person for the rest of their lives is mentally stultifying. We all need to move forward in our lives unencumbered by bitterness and debt and this cannot be achieved by continued maintenance. This just perpetuates the problem. This is a way of clinging to the past and discourages independent living. It's tough but it has to be the best solution for the sanity everyone, including the children of the family. We are going through a complete nightmare. We don't know if we are going to be able to survive financially and are completely at the mercy of the impending judgement of the Court. Everything about our case has been deemed impossible; everyone has told us that it should be struck out. We just don't know what is in store for us and cannot afford the huge bills to go to Appeal if the case goes against us, which would help others who are faced with a similar situation in the future. Where is the justice, when in order to get it you have to be able to pay for it? I have just read a few comments above; having already asked for Marilyns’ excellent advice a couple of weeks ago. My husband is in the position whereby his ex-wife who he divorced thirteen years ago; is making an application for Substantial Maintenance Payments or a consolidation of such. We have just discovered that this is amounting to £40,000. This is after she had been given the Marital home, all assets, savings, shares, ISA’s and the contents of two homes (the other was attached to his work as a Housemaster). Our understanding at the time was that my husband had achieved a clean break and that his pension had been offset against the entire matrimonial assets. This whole episode has come about due to the inclusion of a 5p per year Nominal maintenance order which has given her ‘liberty to apply’ . We are now in the process of being dragged towards Trial with costs rising towards £20,000. We have had to take out a loan to pay for this. His ex-wife has savings in excess of £52,000 and is quite happy to spend it on a vendetta to bankrupt us. I agree with Sam, I am afraid Helen. I have also had a very poor financial settlement but in the final analysis you just have to take the hit and move on with your life. This particular form of Litigation is so destructive, not only for the parties concerned but for the wider family who are also dragged along in the detritus of these wrangling’s. The Courts must understand that there must be a clean break in ALL circumstances, however that is achieved; whether the mother gets the matrimonial home and the husband keeps his pension; the children’s interests will always be looked after whilst they are vulnerable and wives must learn that being dependent on another person for the rest of their lives is mentally stultifying. We all need to move forward in our lives unencumbered by bitterness and debt and this cannot be achieved by continued maintenance. This just perpetuates the problem. This is a way of clinging to the past and discourages independent living. It’s tough but it has to be the best solution for the sanity everyone, including the children of the family. We are going through a complete nightmare. We don’t know if we are going to be able to survive financially and are completely at the mercy of the impending judgement of the Court. Everything about our case has been deemed impossible; everyone has told us that it should be struck out. We just don’t know what is in store for us and cannot afford the huge bills to go to Appeal if the case goes against us, which would help others who are faced with a similar situation in the future. Where is the justice, when in order to get it you have to be able to pay for it?

]]> By: NS http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-41479 NS Fri, 18 May 2012 14:49:54 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-41479 Thank you Marilyn, unfortunately there is no reasoning with her! It is a case of the world owes me and not much we can do! Thank you Marilyn, unfortunately there is no reasoning with her! It is a case of the world owes me and not much we can do!

]]> By: Marilyn Stowe http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-41438 Marilyn Stowe Fri, 18 May 2012 13:26:08 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-41438 Dear NS Oh dear! This is a case where tempers seem clearly frayed and what I suggest is needed is some common sense on both sides. Ideally your partner and his wife should sit down and agree division of all their finances, once and for all but if not, then it should be done either through a mediator or between solicitors if they are involved. On the face of it your partner should not be paying maintenance to his wife if she is living with someone else. But, (and there are a number of buts,) this may not apply if the family still needs a substantial contribution from your partner both before and after the divorce. It will all depend on the facts, and acting hastily and leaving the wife and children potentially homeless through a failure to meet the mortgage, might lead him to regret this if the wife then applies for a maintenance order through the court. The sensible course of action is to take legal advice on his own circumstances and act on that advice which should include the best way of going forward, trying to sort it out as sensibly and quickly as possible. Best wishes Marilyn Dear NS
Oh dear! This is a case where tempers seem clearly frayed and what I suggest is needed is some common sense on both sides. Ideally your partner and his wife should sit down and agree division of all their finances, once and for all but if not, then it should be done either through a mediator or between solicitors if they are involved.
On the face of it your partner should not be paying maintenance to his wife if she is living with someone else. But, (and there are a number of buts,) this may not apply if the family still needs a substantial contribution from your partner both before and after the divorce. It will all depend on the facts, and acting hastily and leaving the wife and children potentially homeless through a failure to meet the mortgage, might lead him to regret this if the wife then applies for a maintenance order through the court.
The sensible course of action is to take legal advice on his own circumstances and act on that advice which should include the best way of going forward, trying to sort it out as sensibly and quickly as possible.
Best wishes
Marilyn

]]> By: NS http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-41422 NS Fri, 18 May 2012 13:03:57 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-41422 My partner is now going through a nasty divorce, we have set up home together which we have 3 kids between us and one 13yr old from there marriage who stays with us have the week and his godmother the other half. His mother has him when convenient to her! She has cleared out all possessions in the marital home and my partner is still paying the mortgage til it sells. My point is we r struggling and she has moved her partner in the marital home and they are not paying nothing! She is always pleading povety can't buy her son stuff but can go to pub every weekend! Should my partner continue to pay the mortgage? My partner is now going through a nasty divorce, we have set up home together which we have 3 kids between us and one 13yr old from there marriage who stays with us have the week and his godmother the other half. His mother has him when convenient to her! She has cleared out all possessions in the marital home and my partner is still paying the mortgage til it sells. My point is we r struggling and she has moved her partner in the marital home and they are not paying nothing! She is always pleading povety can’t buy her son stuff but can go to pub every weekend! Should my partner continue to pay the mortgage?

]]> By: Marilyn Stowe http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-36660 Marilyn Stowe Sat, 05 May 2012 18:50:23 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-36660 Dear Scut I cant specifically help because I dont have the facts. You both shouldn't be feeling so desperate. You should explain to the solicitor how you feel and ask for the parameters to make your decision. If you aren't happy with the lawyer, then you can get a fully informed second opinion from another solicitor or ask your current solicitor to see a barrister in conference. But don't panic. The court always wants to make sure both parties reasonable needs are met, and will always take all the relevant circumstances into account including a wife's potential ability to increase her income and ring fencing assets acquired post separation if needs have been met. Best wishes Marilyn Dear Scut
I cant specifically help because I dont have the facts. You both shouldn’t be feeling so desperate. You should explain to the solicitor how you feel and ask for the parameters to make your decision. If you aren’t happy with the lawyer, then you can get a fully informed second opinion from another solicitor or ask your current solicitor to see a barrister in conference. But don’t panic. The court always wants to make sure both parties reasonable needs are met, and will always take all the relevant circumstances into account including a wife’s potential ability to increase her income and ring fencing assets acquired post separation if needs have been met.
Best wishes
Marilyn

]]> By: scut13 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-33483 scut13 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 20:13:06 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-33483 Hi All Can I just say it is so nice to find a blog such as this - I have never felt the need to write on one but this is a subject so close to my heart at this point in time I needed to write. At present I am currently engaged to a wonderful man who I love dearly. He was with his wife 10yrs and during that time they had 2 children - 14 & 12. They separated 4 years ago and sold the family home each taking a share with his ex £6000 more to help towards the cost of buying her own home and mortgage was transffered. During their marriage they both undertook further education. He has pursued his career and become very successful. Since they separated he has paid over £700 per month - at present his CSA payments should be £360, despite this he also pays additional towards uniform, phone bills and hobbies for them both. He currently has them 6 nights over a 14 night period. At present as in most cases the finances are being thrashed out, in which disclosure has been given and it is clear that the ex wants a lump sum only, she disputes everything and is using the children in order to gain information (not always correct and throw it back in his face). She has stated that she was unable to progress her career or education due to having the children during the marriage and since the split, as stated he has them guaranteed 6 nights out of 14 on the same days, she has also been in a relationship for 4 years although claims they do not live together - i think someone mentioned earlier different postal codes. She is stating ill health due to the stress although will often go away for the weekend without the children,designer clothes and hair cuts costing £50+ are normal. She works 16hrs a week and has been offered full time employment and additional courses by her employer and refused them. As stated she has requested a lump sum £16000 (we have offered £8000 (all we can raise at this time) or £200 per month for the next 6 years) and an increase in CSA as my partner had to work away ovenight and his mother had them - she states he is not caring for the children so he should pay more. We are hoping to move house soon to buy a home together and they have threatened to apply to the court for an injunction to prevent any sale taking place - we are due to marry in Dec. We are at our wits ends and could reaaly do with your help, PLEASE PLEASE any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated. My partner works 70+ hours a week and is totally stressed thinking what is the point and i'm starting to agree - his solicitor in my mind is doing very little to fight a battle whereby they are requesting funds we do not have and the only way we can arrange them would effect our lives and the childrens lives. PLEASE PLEASE - I'm / we're desperate Hi All
Can I just say it is so nice to find a blog such as this – I have never felt the need to write on one but this is a subject so close to my heart at this point in time I needed to write.

At present I am currently engaged to a wonderful man who I love dearly. He was with his wife 10yrs and during that time they had 2 children – 14 & 12. They separated 4 years ago and sold the family home each taking a share with his ex £6000 more to help towards the cost of buying her own home and mortgage was transffered. During their marriage they both undertook further education. He has pursued his career and become very successful.

Since they separated he has paid over £700 per month – at present his CSA payments should be £360, despite this he also pays additional towards uniform, phone bills and hobbies for them both. He currently has them 6 nights over a 14 night period.

At present as in most cases the finances are being thrashed out, in which disclosure has been given and it is clear that the ex wants a lump sum only, she disputes everything and is using the children in order to gain information (not always correct and throw it back in his face). She has stated that she was unable to progress her career or education due to having the children during the marriage and since the split, as stated he has them guaranteed 6 nights out of 14 on the same days, she has also been in a relationship for 4 years although claims they do not live together – i think someone mentioned earlier different postal codes. She is stating ill health due to the stress although will often go away for the weekend without the children,designer clothes and hair cuts costing £50+ are normal. She works 16hrs a week and has been offered full time employment and additional courses by her employer and refused them.

As stated she has requested a lump sum £16000 (we have offered £8000 (all we can raise at this time) or £200 per month for the next 6 years) and an increase in CSA as my partner had to work away ovenight and his mother had them – she states he is not caring for the children so he should pay more.

We are hoping to move house soon to buy a home together and they have threatened to apply to the court for an injunction to prevent any sale taking place – we are due to marry in Dec.

We are at our wits ends and could reaaly do with your help, PLEASE PLEASE any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated. My partner works 70+ hours a week and is totally stressed thinking what is the point and i’m starting to agree – his solicitor in my mind is doing very little to fight a battle whereby they are requesting funds we do not have and the only way we can arrange them would effect our lives and the childrens lives.

PLEASE PLEASE – I’m / we’re desperate

]]> By: Carl http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-26986 Carl Wed, 11 Apr 2012 11:18:55 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-26986 I really need help, I have offered my x wife 75% of all my equity and assets as I just want to move on, we have no children and she told someone 1 year ago she was cheating on me and they told me, I confronted her and she moved out. There is no proof as no pics etc, we never even slept together since we were married as she said she had problems and i stuck around, was it a trap who knows. I now have a new girlfriend and want to move on but she wants to take me to court for spousal maintenance what do I do, do I give her the 90% she wants or go to court where they also want to see my partners earning? Help!!!!! I really need help, I have offered my x wife 75% of all my equity and assets as I just want to move on, we have no children and she told someone 1 year ago she was cheating on me and they told me, I confronted her and she moved out. There is no proof as no pics etc, we never even slept together since we were married as she said she had problems and i stuck around, was it a trap who knows. I now have a new girlfriend and want to move on but she wants to take me to court for spousal maintenance what do I do, do I give her the 90% she wants or go to court where they also want to see my partners earning? Help!!!!!

]]> By: Deborah http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-26644 Deborah Tue, 10 Apr 2012 17:22:33 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-26644 Divorced in 2002, 3 children, now 20, 18 and 15, the 20 year old has special needs, learning difficulties and epilepsy. NRP paid through CSA, Sm set, although a small amount this was dismissed by Altrincham County Court. I considered appealing on the grounds of income comparisons but was advised against it on grounds of cost. I am now in a position since my son turned 19 that the NRP hasn't paid maintenance for him. How can I go about claiming maintenance for my son, since I am the main carer (father lives in London, me in Manchester) and as such have had to fit work in around that and it is low paid in essence. I have been told that my son can take us both to court using legal aid, alternatively, it would be costly to instruct a solicitor; I haven't the financial remit support this. I could litigate myself but have done this previously and failed, ex is lawyer himself!!! He will not do anything voluntarily so seeking to discuss it directly is not an option. In addition my 18 year old dropped out of school and is now looking for an apprenticeship, however, it still costs me dearly to support her, when CSA payments stop for her can I also ask for maintenance for her as she is still living at home? Do you have any advice? Divorced in 2002, 3 children, now 20, 18 and 15, the 20 year old has special needs, learning difficulties and epilepsy. NRP paid through CSA, Sm set, although a small amount this was dismissed by Altrincham County Court. I considered appealing on the grounds of income comparisons but was advised against it on grounds of cost. I am now in a position since my son turned 19 that the NRP hasn’t paid maintenance for him. How can I go about claiming maintenance for my son, since I am the main carer (father lives in London, me in Manchester) and as such have had to fit work in around that and it is low paid in essence.

I have been told that my son can take us both to court using legal aid, alternatively, it would be costly to instruct a solicitor; I haven’t the financial remit support this. I could litigate myself but have done this previously and failed, ex is lawyer himself!!! He will not do anything voluntarily so seeking to discuss it directly is not an option. In addition my 18 year old dropped out of school and is now looking for an apprenticeship, however, it still costs me dearly to support her, when CSA payments stop for her can I also ask for maintenance for her as she is still living at home?

Do you have any advice?

]]> By: Dee http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-23684 Dee Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:52:30 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-23684 Another cautionary story! I met my husband when he was a student and I was a staff nurse on ITU, we both then moved to the same city where he did a PhD and I did midwifery. After qualifying I returned to ITU and he decided to study medicine, to support us, I opted to do permanent night shifts as Sister on ITU for three years then gained sponsorship on the same salary to do a Health Visitor degree. Throughout his five years studying medicine I supported him in every way. When he obtained his degree we moved 200 miles so he could undertake GP training and I secured the Senior Sister in Charge of ITU post at the same hospital. To cut a long story short, I became pregnant and subsequently had a still birth having found he had been having an affair. It was a horrendous time but we worked through it and got back on track, three years later I gave birth to our daughter, he gained his qualification and joined a local GP surgery as a partner. Those were the days when out of hours were conducted from home and although I returned to work 5 months after giving birth, I was expected to answer every call, day or night. We were probably at our happiest, working together as a team and a beautiful daughter. Fast forward to 2003 when my daughter asked if I thought her dad was having an affair, the same signs were there but I wanted to protect her, what ensued was emotional, mental and physical abuse. He constantly denied the affair, even when he was caught with her, out of hours were from a centre so he was telling me he was working when he was doing something very different. I eventually attempted suicide, admitted to ITU, had a cardiac arrest and ventilated, police found him with his mistress when trying to urgently contact him. When I was discharged I had a mental breakdown and have been unable to enter the hospital since. He divorced me for unreasonable behaviour, I had no strength to fight and sadly agreed to many things that left him with the lions share of our assets. I was awarded SM £1500 pcm for life unless re-marriage or cohabitation for 6 months. I am medically retired, live a simple and often frugal life but found peace and have supported my daughter through her medical degree. I am not in a relationship, the scars are still visible but he bought a house with his mistress prior to the final hearing (which he lied about). My daughter is now in her final year and 10 days ago my world crashed around me, I received a letter from his solicitor saying he would not pay another penny. If SM stops I will be faced with selling my home and having my elderly animals put to sleep as I will not be able to afford the mortgage I took on to buy his half of our home. Many will think the easy solution is go to court but he lied through out the divorce, never gave full financial disclosure and cost me the whole of my pension lump sum. I will shortly be 60 and now have other health problems, nor can I fund an expensive or lengthy court case. So another long term marriage, a wife that worked throughout and a husband that has walked away scot free to a luxury lifestyle leaving despair and devastation in its wake. He has stopped payment and I only have enough to pay 6 months mortgage before my home will be reclaimed. If at all possible I would now have opted for a clean break. A whole different story to "trust me I am a doctor"! Another cautionary story!

I met my husband when he was a student and I was a staff nurse on ITU, we both then moved to the same city where he did a PhD and I did midwifery. After qualifying I returned to ITU and he decided to study medicine, to support us, I opted to do permanent night shifts as Sister on ITU for three years then gained sponsorship on the same salary to do a Health Visitor degree. Throughout his five years studying medicine I supported him in every way.

When he obtained his degree we moved 200 miles so he could undertake GP training and I secured the Senior Sister in Charge of ITU post at the same hospital. To cut a long story short, I became pregnant and subsequently had a still birth having found he had been having an affair.

It was a horrendous time but we worked through it and got back on track, three years later I gave birth to our daughter, he gained his qualification and joined a local GP surgery as a partner. Those were the days when out of hours were conducted from home and although I returned to work 5 months after giving birth, I was expected to answer every call, day or night. We were probably at our happiest, working together as a team and a beautiful daughter.

Fast forward to 2003 when my daughter asked if I thought her dad was having an affair, the same signs were there but I wanted to protect her, what ensued was emotional, mental and physical abuse. He constantly denied the affair, even when he was caught with her, out of hours were from a centre so he was telling me he was working when he was doing something very different. I eventually attempted suicide, admitted to ITU, had a cardiac arrest and ventilated, police found him with his mistress when trying to urgently contact him. When I was discharged I had a mental breakdown and have been unable to enter the hospital since.

He divorced me for unreasonable behaviour, I had no strength to fight and sadly agreed to many things that left him with the lions share of our assets. I was awarded SM £1500 pcm for life unless re-marriage or cohabitation for 6 months.

I am medically retired, live a simple and often frugal life but found peace and have supported my daughter through her medical degree. I am not in a relationship, the scars are still visible but he bought a house with his mistress prior to the final hearing (which he lied about).

My daughter is now in her final year and 10 days ago my world crashed around me, I received a letter from his solicitor saying he would not pay another penny. If SM stops I will be faced with selling my home and having my elderly animals put to sleep as I will not be able to afford the mortgage I took on to buy his half of our home.

Many will think the easy solution is go to court but he lied through out the divorce, never gave full financial disclosure and cost me the whole of my pension lump sum. I will shortly be 60 and now have other health problems, nor can I fund an expensive or lengthy court case.

So another long term marriage, a wife that worked throughout and a husband that has walked away scot free to a luxury lifestyle leaving despair and devastation in its wake. He has stopped payment and I only have enough to pay 6 months mortgage before my home will be reclaimed. If at all possible I would now have opted for a clean break. A whole different story to “trust me I am a doctor”!

]]> By: starlet http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2010/02/19/maintenance-payments-and-a-new-partner-bad-news-for-cohabitees-part-2/#comment-21843 starlet Wed, 28 Mar 2012 12:14:21 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=1685#comment-21843 me and my husband split in december 2010. he had an affair and i kicked him out. he divorced me for unreasonable behaviour even though he admitted having slept with a woman the night before i kicked him out, i could not get legal aid to fight my case as i was on employment and support allowance, and he petitioned me.. we were together ten years and married seven, i also raised his daughter from a year after we met, until she went to uni.. i still care for her now while she at university, she comes back to me at weekends, her father not spoken since he left. four years before we split, we purchased our house from the local authority in dec 06, i had been in it roughly 16 years buy then. because of serious ill health i had to stop working from jan 2007, from then on he started having affairs, i have no proof but i knew, caught him on web cam many times, he was mentally verbally and physically abusive to me, i feel so very let down. i supported him through his career as a paramedic, working part time to be a mum for his daughter, whom i love dearly and have no regrets. i am now back on benefits, which has stopped and im appealing against. he now wants me out my home of 21 years, i live near all my family who help and support me, through my illnesses. is there a chance that i can go for maintenance from him, i feel so let down. i suffer from depression, pancreatitis and fibromyalgia and diabetes, all since getting with him, the stress of living with him a diagnosed narcissist was unbearable, and it seems he's walking away with everything a career and my home, i am so very depressed. please can you advise me. me and my husband split in december 2010. he had an affair and i kicked him out. he divorced me for unreasonable behaviour even though he admitted having slept with a woman the night before i kicked him out, i could not get legal aid to fight my case as i was on employment and support allowance, and he petitioned me.. we were together ten years and married seven, i also raised his daughter from a year after we met, until she went to uni.. i still care for her now while she at university, she comes back to me at weekends, her father not spoken since he left. four years before we split, we purchased our house from the local authority in dec 06, i had been in it roughly 16 years buy then. because of serious ill health i had to stop working from jan 2007, from then on he started having affairs, i have no proof but i knew, caught him on web cam many times, he was mentally verbally and physically abusive to me, i feel so very let down. i supported him through his career as a paramedic, working part time to be a mum for his daughter, whom i love dearly and have no regrets. i am now back on benefits, which has stopped and im appealing against. he now wants me out my home of 21 years, i live near all my family who help and support me, through my illnesses. is there a chance that i can go for maintenance from him, i feel so let down. i suffer from depression, pancreatitis and fibromyalgia and diabetes, all since getting with him, the stress of living with him a diagnosed narcissist was unbearable, and it seems he’s walking away with everything a career and my home, i am so very depressed. please can you advise me.

]]>