Comments on: Cohabitation: know your rights and the law http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/ Where Family Law Meets Family Life Sun, 20 May 2012 21:43:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Tom http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/#comment-9424 Tom Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:25:34 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=978#comment-9424 I have been there and done the councelling thing, unfortunately my partner refused to take part, saying "i was the one with the problem not her" quote. You have no idea how deep someone can bury their head in the sand. As for marriage i think both parties have to show commitment in all aspects of their lives, and i suppose after so many years of lack lustre intent to help in the house and financially, i have all but given up on that. She is a great Mum, but horsey women seem to have a different level of prority than most. That may sound a little harsh, but i am in the equine industry and i see it all the time. Whilst i thank you for your reply, i wasnt after free advice ( i hope that doesn't come across as sounding ungrateful ), but just to remind people that there are often two sides to a story and that men are often criticised by all and sundry, sometimes unfairly so, and this culture of the woman being unfairly advantaged in these divorce cases should end, and a more balanced system put in place. Kindest regards..... I have been there and done the councelling thing, unfortunately my partner refused to take part, saying “i was the one with the problem not her” quote. You have no idea how deep someone can bury their head in the sand.
As for marriage i think both parties have to show commitment in all aspects of their lives, and i suppose after so many years of lack lustre intent to help in the house and financially, i have all but given up on that. She is a great Mum, but horsey women seem to have a different level of prority than most. That may sound a little harsh, but i am in the equine industry and i see it all the time.
Whilst i thank you for your reply, i wasnt after free advice ( i hope that doesn’t come across as sounding ungrateful ), but just to remind people that there are often two sides to a story and that men are often criticised by all and sundry, sometimes unfairly so, and this culture of the woman being unfairly advantaged in these divorce cases should end, and a more balanced system put in place.
Kindest regards…..

]]> By: Marilyn Stowe http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/#comment-9359 Marilyn Stowe Thu, 26 Jan 2012 20:25:54 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=978#comment-9359 Tom Thanks for your comment. Given what you write, after a twenty year relationship and two children all she would be entitled to is what she owns which seems to be two half shares in two small properties. I think the horses would have to go and she would be facing a pretty bleak future, absent your voluntary assistance and an application under the Children Act for the provision of housing and maintenance for the children until they finish their education. A wife is in a wholly different financial position. I doubt your partner will view her relationship in the same way you do, and might be horrified to learn you think as you do. It might be an idea to seek help to deal with the problems in your relationship, to see if it can be saved and improved in terms of its' quality before your resentment deepens. Ever thought of marriage? Regards Marilyn Tom
Thanks for your comment. Given what you write, after a twenty year relationship and two children all she would be entitled to is what she owns which seems to be two half shares in two small properties. I think the horses would have to go and she would be facing a pretty bleak future, absent your voluntary assistance and an application under the Children Act for the provision of housing and maintenance for the children until they finish their education.
A wife is in a wholly different financial position.
I doubt your partner will view her relationship in the same way you do, and might be horrified to learn you think as you do. It might be an idea to seek help to deal with the problems in your relationship, to see if it can be saved and improved in terms of its’ quality before your resentment deepens.
Ever thought of marriage?
Regards
Marilyn

]]> By: Tom http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/#comment-9334 Tom Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:09:59 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=978#comment-9334 I have read with interest this somewhat unbalanced view of "ordinary" people. I have lived with my partner for 20 years. I love her, but she loves me less. We have 2 children, and they are the only reason i am still with her. She does very little in the way of house work, preferring to spend all her time and all her money on horses. I am the major bread winner and pay for everything in the home. I own my own house and did so for some years befor we met, we jointly own 2 other small properties. If we were to split up, i would make sure she had enough to live on and in. I would also look after my children in the best way possible. I wonder if her horses would be sold in order to secure a financial base to help with living costs, i doubt it. There is no wonder that fathers are increasingly agitated with so called do gooders who can only see one side of the argument, we fathers are not all bad. If the tables were turned and i, the father, was the bum who spent all his money on himself and disregarded the financial and emotional needs of my partner, i wonder if your article would afford me the same sympathy......... I have read with interest this somewhat unbalanced view of “ordinary” people. I have lived with my partner for 20 years. I love her, but she loves me less. We have 2 children, and they are the only reason i am still with her. She does very little in the way of house work, preferring to spend all her time and all her money on horses. I am the major bread winner and pay for everything in the home. I own my own house and did so for some years befor we met, we jointly own 2 other small properties. If we were to split up, i would make sure she had enough to live on and in. I would also look after my children in the best way possible. I wonder if her horses would be sold in order to secure a financial base to help with living costs, i doubt it.
There is no wonder that fathers are increasingly agitated with so called do gooders who can only see one side of the argument, we fathers are not all bad. If the tables were turned and i, the father, was the bum who spent all his money on himself and disregarded the financial and emotional needs of my partner, i wonder if your article would afford me the same sympathy………

]]> By: Lukey http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/#comment-369 Lukey Fri, 25 Mar 2011 19:08:59 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=978#comment-369 Australia tends to be cited as a country of excellence by people who have an agenda that will benefit from such changes. Education is the key to these issues, not legally trapping people - which is what happens if cohabitation laws are brought in to strip one party of their assets/earnings. Australia tends to be cited as a country of excellence by people who have an agenda that will benefit from such changes.

Education is the key to these issues, not legally trapping people – which is what happens if cohabitation laws are brought in to strip one party of their assets/earnings.

]]> By: Marilyn Stowe http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/#comment-368 Marilyn Stowe Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:46:05 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=978#comment-368 Compare and contrast with the law in Australia, often cited here as a country of family law excellence, (see the Centre for Social Justice report!) where with effect from 1st March 2009, qualifying cohabitants in most parts of the country are treated in the same way as married couples for the purposes of property division and spousal support on relationship breakdown. Compare and contrast with the law in Australia, often cited here as a country of family law excellence, (see the Centre for Social Justice report!) where with effect from 1st March 2009, qualifying cohabitants in most parts of the country are treated in the same way as married couples for the purposes of property division and spousal support on relationship breakdown.

]]> By: Lenny http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/2009/07/22/cohabitation-rights-law/#comment-367 Lenny Thu, 23 Jul 2009 10:07:29 +0000 http://www.marilynstowe.co.uk/?p=978#comment-367 It's amazing how people can claim the banner of social justice, and then fail to notice how their own bigotry is blinding them to its absence. I'd certainly agree that the retention of the fault basis for divorce ignores the reality of marital conflict, and the failure to reform cohabitation law ignores the way society has changed. It's yet another example of why the whole political process itself needs to be reformed. It’s amazing how people can claim the banner of social justice, and then fail to notice how their own bigotry is blinding them to its absence. I’d certainly agree that the retention of the fault basis for divorce ignores the reality of marital conflict, and the failure to reform cohabitation law ignores the way society has changed. It’s yet another example of why the whole political process itself needs to be reformed.

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