Marilyn Stowe Blog

Mesher Orders and Martin Orders: What You Need To Know

Wives and mothers usually wish to remain in the marital home – but it isn’t always a good idea to postpone a sale.

A Mesher order is a court order that postpones the sale of the marital home and gives a chargeback to a husband exercisable on the occurrence of specified events. It originated in an eponymous case in 1980, when the Court of Appeal permitted the wife to remain in the marital home with one child until the child was 17 or further order of the court.

When there are no children, the court can still make a similar order for one party to remain in the marital home and thus postpone the sale. This is known as a Martin order, after an eponymous case in 1978, when the Court of Appeal held that the wife could remain living in the property for the rest of her life. The court postponed the husband’s interest from being realised until then, having found that the husband had no immediate need of a capital sum, and the wife would have had insufficient equity to re-house herself had the marital home been sold.

These types of orders were common in the 1980s and 1990s, when there was a need to keep less wealthy mothers and children in their homes, because there would have been insufficient capital to re-house them. They fell out of fashion because they were fraught with difficulties. These difficulties surfaced when the time periods expired and the houses came to be sold.

Typically, the children had reached their majority by this point. When the mother had to sell the home, she discovered that despite inflation, there was still insufficient equity in her share to enable her to buy another property. The Mesher order had been a temporary alleviation of the problem – but nothing more. In fact, in many cases the woman was left worse off, because her reduced amount of time left in the workplace meant that she was unable to raise a mortgage.

I do of course understand that many wives and mothers wish to remain in the marital home. All sorts of arguments – some practical, some child-related and some plainly emotional -are advanced and it is hard not to be sympathetic. However, a lawyer must always think about the client’s overall best interests not only in the short term. That is what we are paid for.

Last week, the BBC reported that a woman who had taken her much litigated divorce settlement to the Court of Appeal had finally settled out of court with her former husband. According to the Daily Telegraph, “Mrs Bokor-Ingram, 38, had applied to vary the terms of her settlement because her 40-year-old ex-husband allegedly failed to tell her he was negotiating a better-paid job when they split.” Mrs Bokor-Ingram argued that had she known the truth, she would never have agreed to the “Mesher” arrangement that the couple had made in relation to their former marital home. The BBC reported that under the terms of the out-of-court settlement, the ownership of the house will now be transferred to her in full.

I think that Mrs Bokor-Ingram has been fortunate, in that the allegations about non-disclosure enabled her to renegotiate her settlement. A Mesher order is one that I would advise a client to avoid if possible. Such a proposal is commonly made during negotiations by the spouse who continues to pay maintenance.

If the other spouse has hopes for an amicable settlement and wishes to remain in the marital home, a Mesher order can appear to be an attractive option. Unfortunately, it can result in far more long-term problems than it solves in the short-term and – and agreeing to one of these orders can lead to a good deal of regret.

If you are faced with this dilemma, consider the following options:

1. Should you negotiate instead for all the equity in the home, so that you can re-house your household immediately?

Or

2. Should you hold out for a transfer of property order, which would you the entire equity in the house?

Only as a last resort would I advise a charge back – and only then if the wife is acutely aware of the long-term impact of such an order. How will she manage when the charge is redeemed?

But there is also a warning to husbands who might be thinking that this is a good way of ensuring a long term windfall:-A further sting in the tail of a Mesher or Martin order is that the husband may have to pay capital gains tax when he finally receives his payout. This applies if he has purchased a principal residence elsewhere, unless the actual amount to be paid to him from the marital home is specified in the order. However, few husbands will agree to an inflation-hit – and therefore diminishing – figure over a long period of time. It would render their “investment” practically worthless.

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74 Comments

  1. Ian Downing on March 17, 2009 at 10:41 am

    In these times of increased bankruptcy risks, another important point to consider is the risk highlighted in Avis v Turner, whereby the Trustee in Bankruptcy stepping into H’s shoes can apply for sale due to the deferred charge, but unlike H can effectively sidestep the protections that the MCA order gave W against an early sale.
    And its not just the clients who should worry. Lawyers who fail to advise clients about this aspect of the deferred charge could find themselves in a very tricky position when the client discovers that the Order doesn’t mean what it appeared to mean – Burke v Chapman, etc.

  2. Idola on April 20, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    You made some good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree with your blog.

  3. Michael McNaughton on April 29, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    An interesting point this, and the moral for wives seems to be that it could be very risky indeed to accept a Mesher/Martin order if bankruptcy is a serious risk. Another worry I have is that it could easily be used by an unscupulous husband who had the benefit of a chargeback but who was up to his ears in debt, to declare himself bankrupt as a means of realising his interest early. Perhaps our legislators could consider the point ? Wouldn’t put my shirt on it though.

    Marilyn makes some good points but I am still rather uneasy. Of course, each case depends on its own facts ; but the law is saying that the interests of the children must take priority over the needs of the parents. I can see the point in this, but the practical effect is to give a great advantage to the parent with care, and is it right that this advantage should linger on even when the children are no longer dependent ? Can it be just that one former spouse may be over-housed, while the other is in a studio flat ? I can see where Marilyn is coming from, but her suggested solution seems to be swapping one set of problems for another.

  4. Marilyn Stowe on May 1, 2009 at 10:34 am

    There is no easy answer to rehousing both parties in a recession. It depends on the resources and reasonable needs of the parties. It is usually the case that neither party can expect to live to a similar standard given the cost of maintaining two homes rather than one.
    I have set out options for consideration. None of them are without their pitfalls and my view is that Mesher and Martin orders should be avoided by dependent wives unless they have no reasonable alternative.

  5. Andrew London on September 18, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    I’m am a NRP and a victim of a Mesher Order which was awarded back in 2002 when my youngest was aged 4. PWC has since co-habited, had another child in FMH, amassed three months mortgage arrears, made no effort to get my name removed from the mortgage at FMH and cashed in the endowments which were due to pay off the mortgage.

    I have another mortgage now with my new partner but as a second mortgage, I am being financially penalised (by way of a higher interest rate) on a monthly basis.

    I categorically believe that some of (if not all) of the above simply must be an infringement of my human rights. Is there a solicitor anywhere who will take on my case or refer me to a solicitor who will.

    I am of the opinion that a court should be held accountable for and manage any Order that it passes and if it is not prepared to dismiss an Order that has been brought into disrepute like mine has and pay the additional mortgage monies on my behalf, then it should be rendered null and void.

    For the record, I predicted that my ex-wife would do exactly all of the things that she has and this should be recorded in the court minutes somewhere.

    Finally, my ex-wife is still insisting (as she did back in 2002) that she will continue to use the Mesher Order as a stick to beat me with until my youngest is 17 (now aged 11). She has also eluded to the fact that her illegitimate son (who has my surname) will be the next tool used to take the Mesher Order into its second decade.

    Any ideas anyone?

    Regards, Andrew

  6. Keefy on October 8, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    ‘However, a lawyer must always think about the client’s overall best interests not only in the short term. That is what we are paid for.’

    What a naive statement. Divorce lawyers are paid to keep the meter running to earn fees for their firms.

    When, as is often the case, the reality of the short term fee racking advice materialises in the requirement for another court case to correct the errors below, the lawyers earn fees again.

    The divorce law industry has a basic need to perpetuate fee income through prolonging disputes and profiting from people’s misfortune.

    Shortly there will be an order implementation hearing to implement an order made in 1993 to provide a mortgage free house to a young girl such that she could reach a happening event (age of adulthood) without her mother squandering the settlement payment made, or of fear of being put on the street through default on mortgage payments, or of second marriage failure. Something the lawyers couldn’t comprehend due to fee earning blindness.

    Supposedly the interests of the children are the guiding principles of family law!!

  7. Jan Wilkinson on October 27, 2009 at 8:25 am

    I have a question as to children when seeking a Mesher Order. If the children are not that of the the ex spouses, then how can a Mesher Order be applied. No maintenance are being paid to the woman as the children are not his. Also what if the children are all over 18?

    Would a Martin order be applied in such a case?

    Just a little bit confused because this has some bearing on my current divorce proceedings.

  8. Marilyn Stowe on November 1, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Hi Jan
    Thank you for your question. I’m sorry but I dont quite understand what you have written. I think you should ask your own solicitor who is familiar with your case,about Mesher and Martin orders and how they specifically apply to your case. However, if you still would like some advice on the point, please give my office a call on 01423 532600 and ask for our Admin Department. They will be pleased to arrange a telephone appointment with a solicitor FOC who will answer your query.

  9. Power 4 Home on December 2, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    I like your style, the fact that your site is a little bit different makes it so interesting, I get fed up of seeing same-old-same-old all of the time. I’ve just stumbled this page for you :-D

  10. Melly Mel on February 4, 2010 at 9:49 am

    Is it possible to get out of a Mesher Order? I have three children and a complicated consent order involving a Mesher Order. For 6 years now my ex-husband has’nt paid the correct amount of maintenance and has had £10000 in arrears written off yet I am still to let him have 30% of the property I live in with my children, can anything be done?

  11. rich s on February 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    is it possible to subsequently fight the terms of a mesher order once it has been made.

    > presenting a stronger argument that the father should not be able to displace mother from matrimonial home because of abuse and neglect and that 20% of the equity of the house going to him would be inequitable??

  12. rich s on February 4, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    this is once the youngest child (me) has completed full time education.

  13. JR on March 14, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    I have a mesher order (still awaiting final draft from court) that I have two issues with. As background, council could not agree on the wording of the order so the DJ called a further hearing for clarification of Judgement.

    First Issue. The judgement stated that the Applicant was to ‘…continue to pay the mortgage and any capital element…’ I now have an order excluding capital repayments completely, as the DJ stated at the hearing that his intention in the judgement was for the ‘current’ mortgage at the time of the hearing to continue. At the time of the hearing the mortgage was interest only, although he apparently stated at the second hearing that he did not know what basis the mortgage was at the time of the original hearing.

    So using the DJ’s logic, if I had been paying the mortgage including capital at the time of the first hearing, then my ex would have had to continue paying this. Surely the basis for the DJ’s argument is in error. In court, my ex’s financial needs were reviewed in detail, including a claim for spousal maintenance, and an detailed comparative budget was presented and cross-examined. How could a DJ then make a decision regarding capital repayment with such uncertainty over the basis of the mortgage? The result of this means that a £110,000 mortgage will not be repaid however capital was specifically referred to in the judgement.

    Second Issue. I see previous references in the this blog to the fact that if the family residence is sold then this is one of the triggers for settling the charge, – as the reason for it being retained is for the children.

    My draft order has a clause stating that the Applicant can sell and reinvest the gross proceeds of the sale in another property. There is no reference to this matter in the judgement whatsoever, so how can the DJ in making the order insert this clause. Surely this also goes against normal Mesher Order principles. In theory my ex could under this order sell the house and move presumably anywhere in the world, to Spain for example and I would have no security over my charge.

    I have already spent £,000′s on lawyers however my solicitor did not advise me of the second ‘clarification’ hearing, or send me a copy of the draft order before it went to court, so I don’t know exactly what was said by the DJ prior to him making the final order.

    Any assistance or suggestions would be appreciated, do you think I have grounds for an appeal? Should I spend more money getting what I believe is fair for us both.

    JR

  14. beverley hogan on July 1, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    i have a similar problem myself.i dont know where to go in bradford west yorkshire for help getting out of a mesher order.my son is now 18 and my ex husband is pushing for a sale on the house.there is not enough money left to home my son and i if i sell.my son suffers from a mental illness and has recently been sectioned under the mental heath act.if this is not upsetting enough we are both uncertain of our future,can anybody help me.i have been to see several solicitors who dont seem able to give me a straight answer.please help anybody, i am at my wits end and this is making me feel ill with worry.bev

  15. Rachel on October 2, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I am now very scared and confused after reading all this! I have a mesher order on my property for myself and my 2 children but have just found out my ex husband who doesnt work and pays no child maintenance is about to declare bankrupsy after running up nearly 25grand in debts. His 40% share in the equity would currently only be at the most 8 grand. Does this mean that the mesher order will not protect me and the children from losing our home if he goes bankrupt?

  16. janet smith on November 2, 2010 at 12:40 am

    Im about to go into court and my ex/husband is asking for a mesher order. At the moment I have custody of his grandson who we adopted, but when our son leaves education will I have to sell the property as I am not in the position to buy another property. This would leave myself and my grandson effectivly homeless as I am retired due to disablity and have no income. My ex/husband is the sole benerfical of his mothers property and as she is in poor health will end up financially well off and myself left on the breadline and I will be dependent on the state to keep me. My ex/husband has a well paid job with a partner in employment and has never paid maintanance for his child as I was unaware of his wereabout until he applied to the court for a financial settlement. I feel like I,m just another sastistic of this matter and dont know were to turn.

  17. Carol on May 9, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Hello Marilyn
    I separated from hy husband last September following 13 years of marriage, due to his domestic violence. At the time I think I was in shock and was just desparate to get him out of the FMH so I agreed to re-mortgage our home and give him £10k to enable him to rent a one bed flat locally, and he would pay the mortgage for a year. The house is worth £250k, the mortgage is £150k, the monthly repayments are £890. The house is in joint names and we have 2 children aged 11 and 14. My husband has unlimited access to them.
    Now he is saying he will not pay the mortgage after the August payment and he wants me to put the house on the market now. This is not a financial decision on his part but an emotional one because he is very bitter about our split and the fact he can no longer control me. He is literally desparate to get me out of the house, and has no thought for the impact this will have on the children. He earns approx £50k and I earn approx £12k as I can only work part time due to a disability. I am not in receipt of Disability Living Allowance but do have a “Blue Badge” so am registered disabled with my local authority. I do not earn enough to take over the mortgage in my own right, as tax credits and child support are not taken into consideration – I believe I will be able to get £550 a month Child Support? However, I would be able to afford to meet the repayments on my own. This would be preferable to me because rent would be around £1300 a month. If we sell, I will end up using all my share of the equity in rent within a few years, so by the time the kids leave home, I will be penniless. Whenever the house is sold I will have insufficient means to purchase a new home so will be renting. I believe he cannot force a sale of the house without divorcing me, and he has no grounds so I am safe for another year. However, what would you advise I do? Would a Mesher Order be a good option for me? Would the amount of equity he was to receive be fixed at the start of the period though, as otherwise I will be paying off the capital and he will be the beneficiary. The bank have refused to switch the mortgage to interest only. Is there any chance he might have to pay maintenance for me as well as for the children? He has a new partner whom he actually lives with and he just keeps his flat on as somewhere to have the kids.
    Any advice or help you can give me would be so appreciated as I have no savings and am losing sleep worrying what will happen to me and the children.

  18. Henry on June 5, 2011 at 10:35 am

    I had a Mesher order made in 1991 where I would receive 25% of the house which was mortgage free when my children finished their tertiary education. My ex was allowed to sell the house and transfer it to another. I went to appeal but failed to overturn that order. My ex sold the house and the next and transferred to a third house, when the time came for my money to be returned I was given just £17,000, the original house by then was worth a million. I was not allowed interest on my capital, although I was charged interest on costs put against me. I could have gone to appeal again but had by then be totally worn down by all the previous court cases and lost all confidence in the judiciary. The courts had become totally hostile towards me and I became totally depressed and was given early retirement on grounds of ill health. I was advised by my Doctor to avoid any further litigation if I wanted to survive. My children were turned against me by my ex and obviously that I was seen as some distant wicked type landlord who had some charge on their home. I haven’t seen them for years.

  19. J Slee on June 7, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Have been to court twice this year and next one coming up on Thursday, my ex-husband left me and my daughter (his step daughter who is now 19) since September 2007 gone overseas and have not been providing any financial support. He is not disclosing any of his earnings and Judge at the 2nd hearing still concerned about his needs of Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. However, judge has made an Maintenance Order of which I will never see the money, now I am still waiting for the next hearing of the arrangement of the properties of which the initial order from the 1st judge has made that all matrimonial assets will be transferred to my sole name if my ex is not responding. However, what made the 2nd judge change his mind? Will they use either Martin Order or Mesher Order? I don’t know as at present the properties is negative equity but I can’t afford for a new mortgage if I lost those existing one. I have used Solicitor and Barrister on the 2nd hearing but I don’t see there is any advantage at all, I can’t afford either one of them so I am going in representing myself at the final hearing. Any advice? p.s. I am currently study full time to re-train myself after the divorce as the recession plus stress has been eaten me inside out, I have lost weight from size 10 to size 6 and I barely sleep most of the time. Used to go to see my shrink but she is not available for me anymore, I have to visit my GP regularly but I don’t see the judge have time to see my needs or read the A4 lever arch folder my solicitor and I prepared. Where is the justice?

  20. J Lewis on June 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

    I rread with interest the article – I have myself just gone thru a year long Ancillery Relief process resulting in my having a Martin Order forced upon me, I have terminal cancer and the Judge has allowed me (kindly!) to remain in home till I die with ex having full poccession when I die and charge on property, I paid for the the upkeep of home and the mortgage with the help from my son who put 50k into home, ex has put nothing in to the home and we have lived apart for over 5 years, now when I die my son will be homeless and not even get a penny back of his 50k, I have several animals that will have to be put to sleep also which may sound petty to others but to me my son animals and home are my world, why should someone (ex) who has contributed nothing in ten years plus be allowed to gain on my death when my own flesh and blood gets nothing (my son is from previous marriage not his) – I am trying to appeal Judge has refused this and am awaiting Counsels opinion however the chance of a appeal is slim and even slimmer that I would win I have been advised, my Barrister on the day was totally useless where as his Barrister tore me to pieces no one took into account the medication I was on making some of my answers confused etc, has anyone has a similar experience and is there any advice anyone can give me to secure my son in the property so my ex cannot get him out or at least without a struggle any advice would be welcomed .

    June

  21. Marilyn Stowe on June 13, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    June
    I am very sorry to read about your case. It must be very difficult for you, so if you would like a conversation with me, FOC please call Morna Rose at my office on 01423 532600 and I will see if I can offer you some help.
    Marilyn

  22. To vary or not to vary... on August 19, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    Really sorry to hear of some of the horror stories above. It is dreadful that people in vulnerable situations get treated so horrendously. As for an opposing barrister ‘tearing to pieces’ a terminally ill woman – words fail me. How do these people sleep at night? That sort of behaviour should not be tolerated in a courtroom.

    Can I just ask a qustion on your post here Marilyn? In what circumstances would a husband be liable for Capital Gains Tax on his portion of the FMH under a Mesher Order? Is there a financial threshold that governs this?

  23. Dawn on October 10, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Hi
    I am trying to reach a solution to our divorce with the finances but am struggling to grasp what is fair and right. I left my husband taking our 2 young kids. He stayed in the matrimonial home as he had a brain op and suffers mentally with change. after a year we still haven’t agreed the financial split. I thought the house was going to be sold but now he wants to withdraw. He can’t get a mortgage as he doesn’t work but I want my name off the mortgage and my equity out the house. I also think there should be some financial contribution towards the children? Recently i have been offered half the equity in the house and my name off the mortgage, when we split the cash pension.savings was heavy towards him he was worth £90k me £55k which is why i think i should get more equity out the house. I want the kids to have some financial benefit from their father who won’t be working for the forseeable future therefore i was looking into a 15% chargeback being agreed so he didn’t need to find any more money to pay me off in the now, but in the future there should be something for the kids. It doesn’t sound like this is a good idea above tho, i’m now confused.

  24. Marilyn Stowe on October 11, 2011 at 6:17 am

    Hi Dawn
    Thanks for the enquiry but there is insufficient information to advise you.
    Please call Paul Read at my office to arrange a telephone conversation FOC.
    01423 532600.

  25. Graham on October 11, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Must take issue with. Argue for all of the home or equity plus maintenance. Seems too harsh on the man chucked out.

  26. david on January 4, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Hi, I am in a mesher contract with my ex wife. She has 75% and i 25% of the property, the mesher was taken out 5 years ago. Even as she is paying the mortgage, and say in 10 years time she has still not given me my percent and then sells. Would i still be entitled to 25% od the equity as agreed even though the cash value will be a lot hihger as the loan has gone down ?

    Cheers

  27. Marilyn Stowe on January 5, 2012 at 7:52 am

    David
    The order should state when the property is to be sold and how the proceeds are to be divided up. You should be entitled under the order to apply for a sale on the first trigger event if your ex wife is not cooperating.
    Remember if you have bought another property in the meantime you may be liable for Capital Gains tax.
    I would suggest you take legal advice and have the order fully explained to you, how it is intended to work in practice and when is the earliest time you can expect to be paid.
    I dont know whether the property was ordered to be transferred to your ex wife subject to your charge. You need to check in either case whether the formalities were completed with the Land Registry and the Building Society to protect your interest.
    Best wishes
    Marilyn

  28. turquoise on January 11, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    I don’t know what to do, it’s my husband who owns the house. We have been married for 4 years (in march). I don’t have any assests, he has a decent pension as well. He wants to settle out of court and keep the house, but thats doesn’t seem good enough for me as I am not sure I would be able to get a mortage.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on June 28, 2012 at 10:06 am

      Dear Turqoise
      I do hope you have taken some good legal advice on your position. I dont have a problem with wanting to settle out of court, but I do if you try to settle without understanding your position in law and all your options.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  29. Dave Cee on January 17, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    Hello. My wife has decided she wants a divorce, citing intolerablre cruelty (we have nothing at all in common and she now doesn’t love me). She has told me she will get a Martin order as we have 2 girls aged 5 and 3. Is there a set amount I am supposed to pay to keep my interest in the house. We agreed not to sell the house as the equity would be too small for both of us. I am disbled with MS, which will only get worse. Is a Martin order the best way, as we are still friends, although I have slept on the sofa for the past 3 months? I need to get out, and I’m currently trying to gain financial assistance from my employers. She is working part-time and contributes to the joint account – I pay for everything.

    Many Thanks

    1. Marilyn Stowe on June 28, 2012 at 10:09 am

      Dear Dave
      Your position is complicated. The court looks at both parties reasonable needs in making a financial order, and although there are two children who need to be houses, your disability which as you say is likely to worsen, means that your needs also must be taken carefully into account. That is a reason why you need to take good legal advice to cover all your potential options. You dont give me sufficient facts to be able to advise your further.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  30. Antony on March 27, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    Marilyn,
    I’m a divorced father of 3 boys who is being made to feel guilty for harming my children’s happiness in my former home where my ex wife currently lives with her partner.
    Since mid 2006 I’ve had a 1/3 legal charge share secured to my former marital home which is mortgage free. This is to be paid to me “the husband” on the occurrence of the standard trigger mechanisms..
    Remarriage,cohabitation,youngest child reaches 18,voluntary sale,death and voluntary vacation.
    Almost immediately after the hearing her partner moved in and have enjoyed the fruits of a rent free home with a comfortable lifestyle also.
    I have without prejudice paid my child support every month and do not shy away from the responsibilities I have to my children. I have overnight contact twice a week and also 1day after school at my home to guide and support them with their schooling, and the results are the proof of the pudding. Well balanced and polite children.
    However, she does not work and he works part time, when I raised the question over closure on the home between us she then told me was pregnant with his child and have now had another since. Since the settlement was completed I could only afford a shared ownership part buy part rent property which is two bedroom and only on a 15000 salary u could imagine my finances are tight after paying my bills and csa payments but still I carry on. I’m now lucky enough to have met a truly wonderful woman who adores my boys. We have since had a little boy and we all share our home together when my children are over and the cramped space is ridiculous. We have discussed to them a reduced amount for them to pay us so we can get a bigger home but they simply say we will move away and take the boys with us, I’m made to feel guilty for upsetting my kids as they are told I’m making mum force the sale of the home!
    As she’s had kids with this man does it in anyway risk my court order

    1. Marilyn Stowe on June 28, 2012 at 10:04 am

      Antony
      Again, my apologies for the late reply. From what you write, yiou can apply to the court for an order for sale of the house. The court will take all the facts into account but her cohabitation seems to have been an agreed trigger. I think it will focus their minds on their responisbilities under the order, as to moving away it is often an empty threat. I can only comment on what you write, you should consult your solicitor for advice.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  31. pam on April 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    hello im nearing the end of my divorce im living in the home with my 12 yr old daughter i have since met somebody and we wish to live in the home and we pay my ex his share of the equity but he wants a mesher order to be in place till my daughter is 18 … if me and my new partner wish to pay him off do i need to go through with mesher or can my ex delve into all my new partners finances which we dont want this to happen … or should i just do the mesher then triggar it more or less straight away ??

    1. Marilyn Stowe on June 28, 2012 at 9:59 am

      Pam
      Sorry for the late reply, I didnt see your comment.
      There is no reason why you should not pay him out straight away without any investigation into your new partner’s finances. If he wont agree you can make an application to the court.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  32. Donna on June 27, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Hi there,

    I have a property with my ex-partner in France, and we also have an almost 3yr old son. He wants to give me the £20,000 deposit that I put into the £100K deposit. It is unlikely that there is any profit in the property. He is financially stable with thousands of pounds savings, a studio flat, and flat that we share. We sadly never married, and all I ever wanted was a happy stable life for my son and I. Sadly he has left us because he cannot take the ‘pressure’ but I am terrified that I will not be able to house myself with the £50k that I am entitled too. I have followed him to France for his work for the past six years, and been unable to earn much money at all. I even set up my own business there, which cannot operate in my absence, so I therefore loose not only the man I loved and fought for, but also the roof over my sons head, and my source of income, and all because it is his decision. It seems so unfair, and he does not care and has even told me so. I have no cash available so I have an appointment with a legal aid solicitor tomorrow, but I wonder if I could get a Mesher order, and be allowed to sell the flat in France and buy something here in the UK? He does not want me in France anymore, which is fine by me too.

    I am terrified that I will not be able to provide for my son. I want at all costs to live from the state – especially when he does have the money to support us. I have to say it is all in order to support and secure a stable future for my son, if we did not have any children I would happily take the minimum money and run for the hills as far away from him as possible. He will not see that I need this to support my son and his future, he will just see me trying to take his money, he has no concept of supporting us, and is very selfish.

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on June 28, 2012 at 9:57 am

      Donna
      What you can potentially do is make an application under Schedule 1 Children Act 1989 for housing provision for you and your son. This means that your ex partner’s share of the equity in the house or indeed his capital elsewhere, may be used to help rehouse you and your son until a trigger event such as your son leaving school. You can also apply for a lump sum to help with rehousing and there is child support as well. Your solicitor will explain more.
      Best wishes.
      Marilyn

  33. Rose on July 6, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Hi Marilyn
    our marriage lasted 4.5 years , and the child we have is my biological child and my husband has adopted him legally,. we are now divorcing. we both earn well and are same salary, we have one home (matrimonial). will I be able to seek mersher order? I do not have any savings or equity apart from share in this house

  34. Marilyn Stowe on July 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Rose
    Thank you for your enquiry. It is impossible to say given I have no knowledge of your respective financial positions. What I can tell you is that the court must consider the needs of both parties and in particular the housing needs of the person who will have primary care of the child.
    There are any number of considerations:-
    Should the house be sold in all the circumstances? Is it unreasonable for you to expect to stay there with a child?
    How much of the equity do you need for rehousing you and the child?
    What is your mortgage raising capacity?
    Can he and you, be reasonably rehoused out of the net proceeds?
    Can you afford to buy him out now perhaps for less than his half share and stay in the property?
    If not and you can afford to pay the outgoings,and you would struggle to go elsewhere, should the house be sold and be held on a Mesher order and if so on exactly what terms?
    This isnt an exhaustive list, but gives you an idea of what you should be thinking about when you take legal advice on your own circumstances with your lawyer.
    Best wishes
    Marilyn

  35. James on September 22, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Marilyn

    I’m wondering if I should be seeking a mesher order. Ex wife still lives at the former matrimonial home with our 2 children aged 9 and 14. The property is mortgage free and worth around £300k. The property is three bedroomed with myself paying £150k when the property was bought and my ex wife paying £52k. We also have a second property, which is currently let out and which has equity of £100k. I work full time earning around £1,900.00 per month but am then paying 20% from this for child support. My ex also works , but only 21 hours per week, earning around £1,000 per month. Apart from the CSA payments which I pay her she also receives tax credits of around £100 per week. I am wondering if I should alternatively be seeking an order for sale of both properties – as i am currently sleeping on my mothers sofa- which would allow both of us to be rehoused. I am unable to afford the mortgage on the investment property ( which she is also liable for) unless the property is let out. I am aged 48 and she is 41 and I would be interested whether a 50/50 division of the marital assets would be deemed fair.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on September 24, 2012 at 11:29 am

      James
      On the facts as you describe them, and you don’t mention any other assets, I agree with you. It’s up to the court in the final instance if you can’t agree, which I think you and your wife should try and do. In your case mediation might work.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  36. Jo on October 23, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Hi Marilyn
    I have 2 children aged 9, I am currently going through divorce proceedings and my husband is desperate for me to leave and and seeks a 45/55 split of child contact even though I have given up a career to care for them and only worked part time around the children. He also wants to settle out of court.
    He has several businesses and earns a good wage, we bought the house together 12 years ago, I am so concerned about the future and don’t know what to do for the best in the long term..

  37. Jo on October 23, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Hi Marilyn
    I have 2 children aged 9, I am currently going through divorce proceedings and my husband is desperate for me to leave and seeks a 45/55 split of child contact even though I have given up a career to care for them and only worked part time around the children. He also wants to settle out of court.
    He has several businesses and earns a good wage, we bought the house together 12 years ago, I am so concerned about the future and don’t know what to do for the best in the long term..

  38. June on October 27, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    I have been divorced for a year but unable to come to a financial settlement, we both would like the house to be left to the children after our days but cannot trust ex husband to do this he currently lives in the house, is there any order that can be made that if he sells or remarries that could come into place that he would have to pay me half of the equity

  39. Jill Sears on November 7, 2012 at 12:27 am

    Hi Marilyn,
    I am in a mesher contract with my ex-husband since 1998.I raised our four children so therefore had little time in the work place to build any pension and I am on low income around £9,800 per year. My ex-husband took me to court to enforce sale of our property and had a barrister, I represented myself as I cannot afford a solicitor. The judge directed mediation and also wants details of my ex-husbands income and liabilities. I had provided mine in form-E .I believe my ex-husband is on a very good income around £70k a year and 2 private pensions and a jointly owned property he has with his partner (whom he was having an affair with whilst I was pregnant with our twin boys-now 19) worth approx. £535,000. The judge asked his barrister if his application was based on needs and he replied it was not. He just wants his money.
    The split is 50/50 which would not give me enough equity to buy a property outright for myself and my 2 sons now 19 and daughter who is at university and I often have my grandson stay with me- it is still the family home. I have no mortgage raising capacity and have had this in writing. The FMH mortgage has now been paid off-I borrowed £13,000 from my father as my ex stopped paying the mortgage last year. I am so very worried as to what is going to happen?? I don’t think my ex-husband will agree to mediation (I have advised his solicitor that is what I would like to do)-which would then mean going back to court again and then a judge will decide and is much more costly-which is money I don’t have! I need the mesher order to be varied as I need a higher split -is this possible?? Will the judge take into account my needs to re-house myself and children that are living at home with me and they do not have the finances to buy or rent a property.
    I am 52 and do not need to be going through this. I don’t think my ex is being reasonable as he has a home and his application to court is not based on needs. My ex has rarely seen our children over the last 19 years and left all parental responsibility to me. My ex-husband has never lived at the house that he wants his share out of as he agreed to me moving area to be nearer my parents and the mortgage remained the same and the mortgage is in our joint names. I am at my wits end as my future is so uncertain.
    I look forward to hearing from you.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on November 7, 2012 at 8:07 pm

      Jill
      This looks serious. Please get in touch with my office, speak to Morna Rose and let’s speak by phone. 01423 532600 gets you through to all our offices wherever I am. I will need to see the original court order and the current application plus all the rest of the current pleadings including the latest Court Order before our conversation. There will be no charge for my advice.
      Marilyn

  40. Katie J on November 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Hi Marilyn

    I am just about to make my husband an offer to buy him out of the FMH (around 20% of the equity minus some debts of his). I think he will refuse the offer and I have no more money so I think this will result in a mesher order (2 children 2 and 5- adequate house but no more). I have read that its my responsibility to make the mortgage repayments which I can do on a interest only basis, but does he have to pay me some money (in the form of SM) for the upkeep of the house ? He will claim that he can;t afford to but this is because he has very expensive taste in clothes, is renting a more expensive flat that he needs to and has large credit card debts. So would that mean he doesn’t have to if he ‘can’t’ in theory or could it be ordered that he lowered his outoings ? Also what is the usual or most common split of equity that is agreed in a mesher order when children reach 18 or one of the triggers occurs ? Is is 50/50 or will the fact that I will have paid the mortgage (and probably all the maintenance) all the time and will doubtless still have to buy a place big enough to house the children as they rarely leave home at 18 be taken into account and a larger % be awarded to me. I really appreciate your thoughts Marilyn.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on November 10, 2012 at 5:48 pm

      Katie
      Did you know you could apply for a transfer of property order to your name in which case there would be no payment at all? Or that the court could award him the sum you can afford? Or that even if a Mesher order is made (and the courts don’t like making those orders because it could leave the poorer party unable to rehouse in the future)the slit is not an automatic number and the court can still require your husband to make substantial income payments to enable you to afford to stay there?
      The fact is there are many possible permutations and that is the beauty of the law, it isn’t a one size fits all.
      I would strongly suggest you take legal advice with full details of your respective financial position. Don’t dream of making an offer without it.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  41. David Batty on December 4, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Hi Marilyn

    I have read with great interest all the posts regarding Mesher and Martin orders, as they were mentioned to me by my solicitor.

    I believe myself to be a balanced person, with the needs of my children at heart, after separation from my wife 17 months ago.

    Maybe you can offer a modicum of advice for me, as there is so much information out there it is confusing and bewildering.

    Basically, we were married for 18 years, 2 children (10 and 17 now.)
    Joint mortgage of c. £80k, house value c. £240k.
    Wife’s net income c. £1500 per month
    My net income c. £3000 per month.
    Wife received tax credits, family allowance etc, along with £624 per month from me for child support. I also pay the morgage of c. £400 per month and all the endowments/ISA’s attached to it. For a period of around 8 months I also paid all household expenses other than food.
    I would like the children to be able to stay in the FMH, but need to move on, and the financial burden would be extreme for me. My “ex” believes she cannot afford to carry on living in the FMH, but also can’t afford to go anywhere else, which is a problematic way of thinking.

    I would like things to be “fair” but am struggling to come up with any kind of solution that she may agree to.

    I am currently living with my parents rent free.

    Any help you could give me would be most welcome.

    Thankyou.

    Best wishes

    David

    1. Marilyn Stowe on December 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      Hi David
      It wouldnt be appropriate for me to get involved as you are retaining a lawyer. However generally the court looks at needs, housing and income. Your info is silent as to how much both of you need to rehouse and how much both of your need by way of income as a result.
      once you have those figures, I think the issue becomes easier to resolve.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  42. Worried mum on December 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I left my husband last year & took my 2 children who were then 4 & 2. My son who is now 5 has autism and needs 24 hr care. I have been unemployed since he was born and am unlikely to be able to go back to part time work without expensive re-training which I have been unable to afford due to crippling legal fees. I am at financial resolution point in the court and my ex is attempting to get a deferred order so that I will have to give any percentage over 50% that I am awarded back to him . My problem is that my sons disability does affect the rest of my life in terms of earning capacity and care. It is very very unlikely that my son will leave home at the time other children normally do, if at all? So I am effectively tied for the rest of my life as a carer. I am also unsure how this would affect me if I gave birth to another child too? Would I then have to sell family home to pay my ex husband back because I have had another child? My ex has full family support from both his very wealthy family and emotional support from my side of the family, I have been disowned by everone, I have no emotional support at all. Because I refused to put up with the emotional abuse and drug use psychosis after 15 years he has made it very clear that I should get ‘bare minimum’ after what I have done (his words). I am currently cohabiting at the moment in a relationship that’s in its very early stages. I really have no plans to buy property with my current partner, as the thought of going through anything resembling this again is just too much to bear and could not guaruntee the security of this new realtionship. Please could anyone let me know my options and the likelyhood of terms being imposed on me via my ex so that he effectively retains control of me for the rest of my life. What is the likelyhood of me securing a capital lump sum order with a view of bequething the lot to my children only. Can someone, anyone help please???

    1. Marilyn Stowe on December 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm

      Dear Worried Mum
      From what you write it seems that you are paying a solicitor for advise in which case, use him or her!
      The circumstances you outline are all very relevant including your cohabitation with another partner.
      This really is a situation where if you have a lawyer, take some advise from someone who is fully aware of all the facts and can discuss the range of possible outcomes with you in order to help you try and reach a sensible resolution.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  43. Stressed Mum on January 14, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Hi Marilyn,
    I have reached a sticking point as there are 3 mortgages on the FMH totalling 210,000. One of which is interest only (£115,000). The monthly mortgage payment is £650. If I was to rent a smaller property In the area the monthly rent would be around £1,300 (at present there are no such properties available for rental). In this case, as I am a stay at home Mother, but am happy to find part time work, would it be better to enter in to a Mesher Order? as the monthly bills would be half and the children would remain in a secure/safe home. Also we have debits totalling £15,000, would it be wise to remortgaged to cover these? House market value is around 360,000. Any advise will be greatfully received.

  44. Ian on January 30, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Hi Marilyn.

    When my wife and I divorced in 2005, fairly amicably, I agreed she could stay in the marital home as she worked from home and to help give the children a stable home environment. The court order states she has to repay my xx% when the children reach a certain age, or if she marries or cohabits for more than six months. She met a man in 2006 and they were engaged in ‘07. They are staying engaged, living separately, and so not repaying my xx%. I’m forced to continue renting, which is a drain on resources and leaves nothing to pay into a pension or savings… Is there a clause whereby being engaged for so long can be accepted in law as being married, so they have to ‘do the honorable thing’ and return my share? I know it makes no difference, but we were only able to afford the house thanks to a sizeable inheritance from one of my grandparents.

    Thank you for any comments you may have.

  45. Welcome to the divorce capital of the world on February 3, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    After a long term marriage (15 years plus), if independent qualified doctors confirm a husband was subjected to long term emotional abuse by the wife, and there is evidence of physical assault by the wife, will this make any difference to the financial orders?

    1. Marilyn Stowe on February 15, 2013 at 12:01 pm

      It might. Misconduct can be taken into account but it has to be very serious indeed. If needs are affected by that conduct such as inability to work that might be taken into account too.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  46. carole bouffler on February 19, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Hi Marilyn, my mum died recently and left me her daughter, sole trustee and executor of her will. Not long after a letter dropped on the doorstep from Legal Aid, saying she owed appox £12,000 pounds to them for her divorce. I have since found out that my father has a Martins order for 7% on the sale of the house house. Can i sell the house to my husband for £100 and give him 7% of that amount or do i have to sell for its genuine value and give him his 7% of that . I am so confused about all this i don’t know where i stand legally , any help at all would be useful thank you so much.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on February 19, 2013 at 12:02 pm

      Hi Carole
      What you are suggesting could be construed as a potential fraud on your father. You could try and negotiate the sum down with him, but otherwise you must proceed in accordance with the court order.
      As executor you have an obligation to act at all times diligently and honestly. So if there are debts to be paid out of the estate, they must be paid.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  47. Zoe on February 22, 2013 at 10:36 am

    Hi Marilyn
    I am currently being pertitioned for a divorce by my husband. A year ago he has a breakdown and suffered severe depression and basically our marriage never recovered. He is contesting unreasonable behaviour on both parts although I am not sure this is entirely true or what it would mean if I agreed. However since his breakdown in February and subsequent lack of work and money I have managed to scrape by and pay all bills including mortgage since that time. He stayed with his sister from May until xmas where she couldn’t take him back because of her own situation being difficult. He has stayed on the sofa ever since and uses all ameneties. He pays me £20 a week cos he is on job seekers and pays for some of his food. He has said we can go for a mesher order on the house to enable me and the children to stay here but reading about it it means we will have to sell or I will have to buy him out. We bought the house in 2004 (November) and he stopped paying towards it Feb 2012. He has no intention of paying half of the mortgage as he said he will need to pay for his own residence and the council won’t house him because he is on the mortgage so technically has somewhere to live. The mortgage company won’t take him off the mortgage unless I buy out £50k. My concern is if I continue to pay the mortgage alone I don’t see how he can be entitled to ‘his share’ at the end of a mesher order. Surely he would have to pay into the mortgage for that to happen? Also he thinks he is entitled to his share because he has paid in (and lived here) until 2012 (its annoying becuase he acts as if the payments went into some savings account and now he is entitled to what he put in). Please advise
    Thank you Z xx

  48. Sam on February 22, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    Dear Marilyn,

    I have just gone through a very acrimonious divorce as my husband refused to settle knowing I would reach a point of not being able to afford legal representation. After the FDR at which the Judge gave a fair recommendation which I was prepared to settle my husband refused and it went to a final hearing. The judge at the FDR said ‘ there is not a judge in this land who would not see what you have done regarding the business as unlawful and the wife should be compensated. It was very complex as we were 50 – 50 directors in a joint company that my husband removed and set up a like for like company taking all the clients and £30,000 company funds which he proceeded to spend. He also stopped paying me my 50% share and I went from earning £5000 net per month to £1200 with my husband running down the business whilst he refused to settle over a year. My corporate lawyer wrote a letter for the FDR explaining his unlawful action and the Judge agree which is why the settlement recommended at the FDR was fair. I had no choice as I was £45,000 in debt with no job and a 2 year old to represent myself or accept his very small offer. My barrister and solicitor st the time said I had a strong case and should represent myself rather than settle. Unfortunately at the final hearing the Judge believed his barrister and i didn’t stand a chance, I was completely out of my depth and could not put my case over in a way the judge could understand. It was a 3 day hearing and we had 10 bundles which the Judge did not want to go through. His barrister was very good and I left there with very little. I got 52% (£124,000) equity split in the FMH all his debts were paid from the equity and the company debts that my husband built up before the equity split. From his reduced net monthly income of £6000 previous earings were (£10,000 net pcm) I got £1500 pm maintenance order and he refused to address child maintenance so I have gone through the CSA who have awarded me £5 per week. He told the Judge that the CSA would award our daughter £800 per month and this should be taken into account when looking at my maintenance. This is because he runs his own company has not declared his full dividend payment. The Judge gave me a £40,000 charge back which I do not want as I can only afford a 2 bedroom flat and when my daughter is 18 I will be 55 and can not afford to give him 25% of my property. He has a £260,000 pension pot and I got the very minimum of 14%. There is an order to sell the house but I can not afford to move out due to the amount of the CSA . I am not working and can not afford child care to work. I did not agree with the court order as his solicitor put it together and there things in it that were not agreed in court but the Judge agreed the order. They are pressing for me to apply for the decree absolute and I can not afford to do this but it is in the court order that I do. My husband is cancelling my telephone, internet and sky and deducting money from my maintenance although the court order states he should pay all utilities and bills that her has been paying up to that point and should pay me £1200 pcm. He wants to come to the FMH to look around although he has no items here. I have started to see someone although very early days and I have no intension of him meeting my daughter for quite some time. My husband keeps taking pictures of his car on my drive. I have a clause in the order that my maintenance will stop on cohabitation after 6 months although this was not stated by the judge at the hearing his solicitor put this clause in, I wrote to the judge asking for the clause to be removed as this is the only compensation I have from the company that last year the net income was £120,000 that my husband will now earn. I have been completely railroaded during the final hearing and I dont know if I should appeal now my husband is not being transparent with the CSA and I am left with just my maintenance of £1500 pcm once the house is sold and £1200 pcm until it is sold. The judge completely agree with his barristers proposals and I left feeling completely violated. There was such a huge difference between the FDR recommendation and what the judge at the final hearing awarded me and i was completely walked over in court. His barrister got me in a room and said that if I didnt agree to the chattels that my husband wanted by the count of 3 the entire contence of my house would go to auction. I can not live off the amount awarded I can not afford legal advice and feel that I have been violated because my husband had the money and I was living off and supporting our daughter on a credit card. He stated to the judge he was in hardship and 1 month after the hearing moved out of a 1 bedroom flat into a 4 bedroom detached house whilst I can not afford to rent a 1 bed flat and support myself and daughter on £1500 if the house sells. Could I appeal, can I stop him from constantly coming to the house, do I have to apply for the decree absolute and is there a reason why they are pushing me to do this and can I appeal the court order that his solicitor wrote and added things to. I feel so bullied and I have lost everything financially but more importantly this has destroyed me and I am now so worn down and bullied I have little fight in me and I am so worried about my future. I would very much appreciate some guidance.

    Many thanks
    Sam

  49. Denise on February 23, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    My husband still has several thousand pounds to settle against the consent order from our divorce. He is in the process of selling his house, can I place a legal charge on the house. I have no interest in this property which he inherited.

    Many thanks.

  50. darren stapleton on February 28, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    I entered into a mesher agreement with my ex wife in 2007 when we divorced . Her share is 70% and my share is to be 30% upon my youngest reaching 16 years old or other provisos. When we divorced the mortgage was 82 k and the property was worth 230 k . My name has been removed from the mortgage and it is solely in my ex wifes name. I have recently found out that she has extended the mortgage to purchase a car and only pays interset only on the mortgage which means that my 30 % instead of increasing is actually de creasing.Could you please advise if my ex wife is entitled to do this . It doesnt seem very fare to me and i would not have entered into the agreement knowing this.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on March 1, 2013 at 12:48 pm

      Dear Darren
      I think you need to take legal advice.You need to calculate how much you have lost so far and inform your solicitor. When the order was made, I think it should have been registered against the property to protect your interest and prevent her from dealing with the property without your consent.
      Given that the property has been affected, it may be possible for you to apply for an order for sale and a determination by the court of the amount you are due, or a declaration of your interest when the property is sold.
      These are thoughts not specific advise, your solicitor will advise you.
      Best wishes
      Marilyn

  51. Ian on March 27, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Hi Marilyn.
    Further to my previous email (Jan 30th). My younger two children are 16 in May (my eldest child is 22 and has left the nest) and have been living with their mother in the FMH since she divorced me in 2005/06. One of the twins has been asking me (with no prompting!) if he can move in with me, owing to his mother’s ongoing unfriendly, unreasonable behaviour. I know he can do so when he reaches 16 in May. If he does, and his twin sister remains with mother in the FMH, would this be cause to readdress the Mesher agreement? If my son does move in with me, he would still be sharing my bedroom as I can only afford a two-bed property in this area. This isn’t normally considered acceptable for a young man – or for an adult man still looking to find a long-term partner.
    A solicitor has suggested the FHM would remain with the mother as long as one of the children stays there. This seems unreasonable, and has been costing me sleep. After seven years it’s depressing too, knowing there are yet another five whole years to go (end of degree-level education) before she will be legally obliged to return my share of the FHM.
    Many thanks,
    Ian

    PS I did no wrong in my marriage – she was my first and only partner for the duration.

    1. Marilyn Stowe on March 31, 2013 at 11:38 am

      Dear Ian
      I have not seen your order so I’ve no idea what it says!
      If you have liberty to apply under the order which may well be the case then you must decide what to do in conjunction with the legal advice you are taking.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  52. Claire Rosette on April 10, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    Dear Marilyn

    After suffering abuse within my marriage I divoreced my ex two years ago. I was forced to go to court as my ex wanted the FMH to be sold and I wanted myself and our small children age 5 and 7 to remain in the home, our last remaining piece of security in uncertain times. A mesher order was arranged.

    Despite putting up 50 grand into the FMH from a previous property my ex was awarded 47% of the house. I was supposed to recieve £62o a mnth in spousal and child maintenance. I have now been told that he can no longer pay maintenance as he is in debt after leaving his job voluntarily. Is it possible to change his percentage of the equity now he is not paying anything towards the children?

    I still need to remain in the property for the moment as my business is based in the home, if I lose the home I also lose my job. He has voiced concern about the children losing their home when the children turn 18 and may agree to sign the house over to me now. Could this be arranged or is a mesher order set in stone? Despite working I am on a low income and I am totally in despair. Please Marilyn could you advice?

    1. Marilyn Stowe on April 11, 2013 at 4:24 pm

      Dear Claire
      Dont despair. Nothing is insoluble!
      I havent seen the Order so cant tell you what it says or what more can be done but your solicitor could.
      It is always open to the parties to agree to vary an Order and you may be able to secure unpaid maintenance arrears against his share of the property. It seems wrong for him to have voluntarily given up a job in this way.
      Personally if I were you Id try to negotiate a deal that ends matters once and for all.
      Regards
      Marilyn

  53. shell on May 3, 2013 at 10:55 am

    i am living with my 3 children in my partners house .the house is still in joint names with his ex wife, she lives abroad has remarried and has a new home they divorced under canadian law, one child from his marriage lives here with us the second child lives in canada, initially she emailed to say she wantd nothing from the house thn 2 years on has changed her mind and wants her half,she has a large home bought in canada and does not need to work due to his job and housing climate he can not afford to buy her ou talthough he made her an offer of 30k which she declined he cannot give her half as tht will leave him with next to nothing not even enough to secure a property for himself and his daughter, i think he should fight it in court but hes reluctant, i have heard in some cases the spouse in the family home living with the child maybe entitled to two thirds of the property..is this right his daughter returned to the uk for stability and is doing exams soon she has made new friends and wants to sty in the area. ..would the court take my housing needs with 3 young children into consideration at all as we are a family unit now and if he sold gave her half we would live apart and we would be homeless.

  54. Jonathan on May 4, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Dear Marilyn,
    I have a mesher agreement that was made in 2001. when my Wife left me and the children who were aged at the time 12,10 and 6, the divorce went through easily enough.
    When it came to sorting out the finances side of the relationship it went wrong.
    I was given residency of the children, and even after mediation and me offering my Ex a sum of £ 20,000 pounds (about 20% of property value at the time) she refused so I told My Solicitor I would settle for the house and no maintenance from my Ex. The judge concluded that my Ex pay no maintenance as she was depressed and unable to work ! I was then given the bombshell that when my youngest reached 18 that I would have to give my Ex 40% of the value of the property at that time ? I was totally shocked and wondered how the Judge thought I could work and bring up my children and pay the mortgage for the next 12 years !
    Anyway long story short my youngest turned 18 in January so where do I go from here, have not heard from her Solicitors yet so don’t know what to do.
    I can not use my Solicitors again as her solicitors merged with my Solicitors 3 months after the court hearing so I assume that would be conflict ?
    Thanks for your time Marilyn
    Jonathan

    1. Marilyn Stowe on May 10, 2013 at 4:47 pm

      Dear Jonathan
      It seems like there is a conflict now in relation to the solcitors.
      I havent seen the order so dont know the exact provision, but if you are obliged to pay that sum under the order, then it would appear you are bound to do so. You havent explained any circumstances why not? Are all the children in tertiary education? Is there an argument to postpone sale until they have all completed their education?
      If the court has ordered you to make payment now then I would contact your ex and suggest you pay her a sum based upon the average of three valuations and pursuant to the relevant provisions contained in the order. She could potentially force a sale if you fail to pay and seek interest until the money is paid.
      Regards
      Marilyn

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Marilyn Stowe is the senior partner in Stowe Family Law, which has offices in Yorkshire, Cheshire and London. With more than 30 years’ experience handling divorce cases and family law proceedings she is regarded as one of the most formidable and sought after divorce lawyers in the UK. In 2012, Marilyn became one of the first solicitors to qualify as a family law arbitrator.

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All persons mentioned in the scenarios are fictitious: details have been deliberately changed in order to protect identities and other confidential circumstances of my clients. All advice and information on this blog including posts written by guest authors, is given only as a general guide to the operation of the law on the date of publication. Readers must place no reliance whatsoever on the content of this blog and must always obtain their own legal advice. Marilyn Stowe, Stowe Family Law LLP and guest authors accept no liability whatsoever arising as a result of reliance upon its content.

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